Best advice for Harry going forward?

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I have all the same initial reactions as many others on MN regarding Harry i.e. whiner, grifter, stupid, entitled etc and it's easy to dole out the criticism.

However while I wouldn't say I have sympathy for him, as so much of his situation is of his own making, I actually do have some underlying feelings of concern for him and his future (and children).

He reminds me an awful lot of a relative of mine who is neurodiverse with a mild learning disability and a tendency to be self-absorbed with an overdeveloped victim complex - always lashing out, blaming others, seeing conspiracy where there is none etc.

Harry is clearly a damaged man, with childhood trauma and issues which continue to plague his mental health.
As with my relative, he has grown up with a support network which has probably quietly managed and enabled his passage through life, but when big outbursts happen (as have happened in our family too) everyone backs off and 'grey rocks' him until he has calmed down. Some people just give up, too exhausted by the constant drama of it all.

My former neighbour is as leftie as they come and I got into a proper argument with him about MM. He swallowed hook line and sinker the “racist British tabloids” narrative, gleaned entirely from the Grauniad.

I don’t know his views on Harry but I suspect he’d be torn, delighted that he was sticking it to the Establishment but struggling to defend someone so obviously clinging to the privileges of royalty.

I think based on sound data (OK, a close watching of the MN RF board 😂) that a good deal of what you'd call genuine support for them has tailed off. Not all posters and some make fair contributions even if there is disagreement, but a general lessening of the rabid "they can do no wrong and PS William and Kate are evil" attitude.

Whether they've increasingly realised they're flogging a dead horse and got bored, I couldn't say. In my experience people don't like to be on the "losing" side, especially if their attachment is not coming from a solid, considered place.

Yes, I can see that, @wordler . Good point. It's now very clear that Harry is the worst kind of royal, all the arrogance and entitlement and none of the duties.
I've never been a supporter of the monarchy myself and to be honest, had little time for Charles, but this whole sorry saga has made me respect Charles and William (something I never thought would happen!).

I remember on the Oprah interview when Harry complained about his father cutting him off financially, and he didn't want to spend his mother's inheritance (£30m?).
That was a moment when I just couldn't believe his attitude and thought, have you any idea at all?

I suspect that one of the main reasons Harry didn't step forward to defend Catherine (and Charles) against the “royal racist” accusations was as a petulant act of revenge against William and Charles himself for, in his view, not taking on the press to protect Meghan in the early days. It was clear as day that Harry’s aggressive approach to the media was just going to antagonise them and make everything worse for him and so it has transpired.

You can just imagine him at his JobCentre appointment: 'Yes, well, I've only got £30 million in my Coutts account and I can't touch that because it's my children's inheritance. I've got nothing to live on!'

...and slagging off his Dad through wherever media outlets are available, when they were still being funded by the Bank of Pa, until well after their decision to leave!

Reading that Guardian article, I remembered that I saw the headlines on Saturday (the day after the interview and statement) and every single one of them, across the political spectrum, focused on the 'my dad won't speak to me' angle.

To recap, a Prince had just told the world that the 'establishment' is basically out to kill him (history repeating itself). This is worthy of Les Mis, a great tragedy. And, instead, as one, they all treated it like an episode of Eastenders. That is such a huge loss of credibility.

Whatever one thinks of the monarchy (I'm a mild supporter) I think it's clear Charles has always had a sense of duty and is a serious and compassionate man. William has had an entirely different upbringing - relatively normal compared to the late Queen and Charles - and may not, understandably, have quite the same earnest attitude to the role. I think he'll be fine when his time comes, though - but will definitely make reforms.

But Harry! He's like the Duke of Windsor in that he just isn't suited to it. He's too self-indulgent and undisciplined and basically, not too bright. I think Harry is a Spencer in temperament - volatile, insecure and manipulative. Look at Earl Spencer - what a tangled lot of family relationships he's created with his serial marriages and affairs - and Diana. I suspect Diana indulged Harry as a child (didn't she say it's OK to be naughty but don't get found out?) and then after the trauma of her death no-one ever wanted to say no to him or thwart him.

Excellent analysis @CoffeeCantata . Really on point 👏

Yes, I agree @CoffeeCantata and @prelovedusername .

Imho Harry's problem is that he's pissed off both supporters and opponents of the monarchy now. If he'd actually stuck to the kids not having titles I think he'd get much more respect from the latter.

Monarchists obviously don't like him for the criticisms he's levelled. Republicans or those who are at least lukewarm disdain wanting it both ways, the obvious attachment to titles and privilege and the selective objections. Basically Ash Sarkar's take here.

https://x.com/AyoCaesar/status/1603311278524715008#

I don't know if there's a way to come back from that. He needed to pick one and go with it.

Good points, @StClabberts . I was looking at Sophie and Edward and thinking, they're working royals, yet deliberately chose not to style their children prince and princess. Interesting contrast.

I think that’s just an ingrained attitude in the RF. They expect all their expenses to be paid by Joe Public whilst building up vast personal fortunes that are invested to make even more.

I think that’s just an ingrained attitude in the RF. They expect all their expenses to be paid by Joe Public whilst building up vast personal fortunes that are invested to make even more.

I agree. The Queen Mother managed to hoard a huge amount to leave a vast inheritance in her own right.

Yes, and Harry is the ultimate example of that. He's an absolute Royal, except he can't be bothered to do any of the official duties, support the Head of State or contribute to anything other than his coffers. Why shouldn't the plebs pay for top rate protection round the clock whatever he does?
That's his entitlement.

She did indeed , and left a significant sum to Harry. Plus Harry wouldn't even spend his late mother's inheritance because he still wanted to be financially supported by his dad, even though he moved away from the job and away from the UK! Unbelievable.

Yes, and in my experience that's the sort of thing that those who don't care for the institution tend to respect. As someone who's at best lukewarm/grudging, I think that approach is sensible and practical. It's also most likely to lead to the long term survival of the constitutional monarchy, so is something I'd expect pro royals to support as well.

Harry would, I think, do much better at articulating the very real issues that the system seems to create for some of its members if he had a bit more of this attitude. Not many people are going to respond positively to the parts of his complaints that essentially boil down to not being treated in a sufficiently royal manner.

@StClabberts - your last sentence is spot on. Harry's anger is because he's not being treated totally enough.

Harry understands there is a hierarchy, he understands that in the LoS, he and his DCs, are above his aunt, & uncles and cousins. He just doesn’t like the fact that his brother & his brother’s DCs are above him in the LoS.

Sorry that should read "royally" enough, not totally. Thanks for all the agreements anyway, you obviously understood what I meant!

Yes, he's never objected to the Line of Succession before, when he was near the top. No objection to the front seats, the carriage rides, the balcony appearances, people bowing and curtseying. Above all, people calling him "Your Royal Highness".

I really, really want to know what the "Lazy William" posters think about Harry having claimed to be in public service since birth. The ones who support H&M in particular.

In the Netflix docusoap, MM tried to blame the RF for Ashley Hansen (Samantha Markle's daughter) not being invited, even though she and Meghan are apparently close. She told Ashley the RF thought she shouldn't invite the daughter but not the mother, and she complied. I call bullshit on that. The RF must have known the optics weren't good. Although her brother and sister are bloody horrible imo, and I don't blame her for not wanting anything to do with them, what was the excuse for all her relatives on her mother's side and, as you say, the uncle who got her the internship? I'm astonished nobody in MSM ever asks these questions.

Yes, where is everyone?