Best advice for Harry going forward?

[SandyThumb]

I have all the same initial reactions as many others on MN regarding Harry i.e. whiner, grifter, stupid, entitled etc and it's easy to dole out the criticism.

However while I wouldn't say I have sympathy for him, as so much of his situation is of his own making, I actually do have some underlying feelings of concern for him and his future (and children).

He reminds me an awful lot of a relative of mine who is neurodiverse with a mild learning disability and a tendency to be self-absorbed with an overdeveloped victim complex - always lashing out, blaming others, seeing conspiracy where there is none etc.

Harry is clearly a damaged man, with childhood trauma and issues which continue to plague his mental health.
As with my relative, he has grown up with a support network which has probably quietly managed and enabled his passage through life, but when big outbursts happen (as have happened in our family too) everyone backs off and 'grey rocks' him until he has calmed down. Some people just give up, too exhausted by the constant drama of it all.

I won’t dm @RingForMiddleFinger, because after certain activities I find it uncomfortable.
but if you really want to know , I will give you a very detailed hint!
but please be aware that this is purely rumours and gossip, it may be from military personnel but they are just as apt to gossip as us ladies on mn!!!

Where was his condemnation of the odious Scobie's Endgame, chapters comparing Catherine unfavourably to Meghan and calling her a Stepford Wife?

Sod the Stepford Wife bit, @RandyRedHumpback; where was Harry's condemnation of Scobie naming Charles and Catherine as the "royal racists"?

He even defended Susan Hussey, "explaining" how much she was loved and that it was really just unconscious bias, but not his supposedly much loved father and sister in law?

Of course, IF Charles and Catherine are racist then let Harry say so - he's said so much else it would hardly matter now - but otherwise he's no better than those who think that just flinging the word around is enough

Let’s be honest, how many of us would like our salary, and that of our wife and children, and accommodation, and our professional role, ultimately being determined by our sibling for the rest of our life, even if we did get on with them? Very, very few of us would find that acceptable in this day and age! Very few spouses would accept or tolerate it either.

Harry isn’t unique, ask any aristocratic family, farming family, family business owner, often the eldest son inherits and the siblings either go with it or forge their own path, what they don’t do is leave the family firm but then expect to keep the wages, the company car and all the perks whilst they try to set up a rival business and try to bring the family business down, unlike Harry.

This won’t be a popular view, but I think in turn, King Charles, as his parent, needs to reach out and try and fix this family rift. As the boss man, he sets the tone now. He should not let this fester any longer. I couldn’t ever imagine closing doors on my adult children, even if they had done something utterly horrendous!

Let’s hope you were not one of the posters who condemned the Queen for standing by Andrew then.

Ok

Ive ask for my post to be removed as I’m uncomfortable posting it.

Of course Catherine is not racist, the idea is utterly preposterous. I hate how she was bullied by the SS. Catherine is the archetypal nice girl, kind, composed and with a quiet strength. From everything we have seen since she entered the public eye, she has consistently behaved with grace, decency, and honour. Unfortunately, women like her are often targeted by jealous, insecure and failing alpha type women through malicious gossip. Something about natural poise and consistently respectful behaviour seems to provoke resentment in women who don't share those qualities.

That makes sense.

Princess Anne has made a good job of it, and Edward to a lesser extent, but it’s more difficult being two rival siblings of the same sex so close in age. Princess Margaret didn’t really manage to make a success of it. I don’t see what was so wrong about Harry being open and honest about the difficulties of the role anyway. And the difficulties it would present for his wife who was older, with an established career and work ethic

The only “difficulties” Harry and Meghan had were they were not top dogs, if they had been ranked above William and Catherine you can bet your bottom dollar things wouldn’t have been remotely difficult for either of them, and as for Princess Margaret, she adored her sister and supported her throughout her life so not sure why you are bringing her into it.

I know this may be a little controversial (and I'm a WOC myself), but I find the Stepford thing worse than the racism "accidental translation" incident. Harry had already reverse ferreted on the racism claim. It was obviously a combination of the Sussex's inability to understand letters patent, common security issues around royal children and a "conversation" that not only happened before there was a marriage, let alone children, but that was recounted second hand by a spiteful woman who wasn't even present for it, who heard goodness knows what from her husband who tells lies, to an incompetent interviewer looking for controversy. Every household containing POC will have had conversations about colouring before the birth of a child. Ours did. And nobody reasonable who has watched Charles and Catherine over the years would think for a minute they are racists.

The Stepford thing was all based on Catherine being a dutiful royal, a patient woman fitting in with an established institution and its customs and manners, and someone who knows she is in it for the long game; and for being - when she first entered the institution - quiet, considered, thoughtful, hesitant, nervous and not, from the get-go, a show boating, "Look at me!" motor-mouth. She's clearly a lot of fun, very sporty and open to challeges and not afraid to look silly on royal visits, and when it comes to the people who matter, the public, she's clearly taking more than a superficial interest in them. She's been fully involved in her Early Years projects and other Royal Foundation endeavours. So why the spiteful descriptions of her reducing her to a cooking/homemaking/sex robot? To me, Scobie's depiction of her was replete with misogyny and an affront to every introvert who is out there, competently getting on with their job without blowing a horn everytime they walk into the room; and he reflects the sort of modern sensibilities that place more value on how things are said, rather than what is said, and that shit is ruining society.

Apologies for the rant!

Yes I’m normally not one to post rumours but I know what it feels like when it seems everyone knows something and won’t tell you what it is!! 🤣

Or one of the posters who approve of Meghan continuing to cut off her father when he keeps "reaching out".

Yes, Harry is responsible for his actions now; some of which have been far from ideal. But he couldn’t help the situation in to which he was born. It is a pretty difficult psychological shift to be brought up as equals with your brother, and then come to realise in your teens that you will always be second in everything. And it all being played out in the public eye.

He is still acting like a teenager, he is a 40 year old grown man who needs to stop having toddler tantrums because his brother got the bigger sausage, honestly are posters still going to be pandering to this nonsense when he is 50? 60? It’s ridiculous.

Excellent post @RandyRedHumpback!
I too like @Puzzledandpissedoff, thought the racism accusations were worse but your explanation of the stepford wife comment really opened my eyes to just how offensive it actually is !
thankyou 👏

I admit I was curious. I've asked for my comment in response to yours to be removed too.

@jeffgoldblum

that's why I can't be specific

dredge up whatever you want about Harry - I saw post

still not worse than his grandfather

now definitely off the pot

I didn’t dredge anything up! , it’s fairly well known and has been for years!
unlike you however when asked by a poster who genuinely wanted to know , I felt it would be unhelpful to string them along!

I'm still off the pot

"worse than his grandfather"

Who cares if members of the royal family have extra-marital liaisons or friendships (if that's what you're implying)? I don't. Why on earth would I? Why do you? Its totally inconsequential, and if that's how the marriage works, then fine - it's no business of anyone else's.

What I DO mind about is if they wash their dirty linen in public and attack and smear their family publicly, branding them as racists etc on a global stage and making wild allegations which they later retract sheepishly (when the damage has been done) or which are proved to be lies.

Prince Philip (like Princess Margaret) was always fiercely loyal to the Queen and the RF, and clearly loved his wife. What happens in the privacy of their marriage is totally their own business and of no interest or concern to me.

Another vote for this cracking post, Randy.

Brilliantly put.

I know this may be a little controversial (and I'm a WOC myself), but I find the Stepford thing worse than the racism "accidental translation" incident. Harry had already reverse ferreted on the racism claim

I don't think of this as controversial at all, @RandyRedHumpback; it's a sincerely held view which I very much respect even if it's not my own - though I do agree with jeff about your insightful "Stepford Wife" comments

As someone who's worked in this field I just worry about the damage done on a very serious subject when "racism" is flung about with no purpose except that of shutting down a discussion, but fortunately we see much less of it now, at least on here

And despite his reverse ferreting, my view on Harry's lack of challenge to Scobie's naming of Charles and Catherine stands

@Puzzledandpissedoffand @RandyRedHumpback
i think this is an interesting discussion because it shows how everyone takes different things in different ways and finds them wrong from their own perspective and experiences!
I’m really angry that more isn’t made about his narrative of tracking and firing on his father’s car during training exercises!!!
for me there are two issues, the first is that he would consider killing his own father and the second, his absolute delusion that he had the power to spare him!! , they never would have killed the future king on the orders of someone so low down the pecking order or at all .
my other is rather personal! , the mocking of the matron , as someone with scoliosis, I found his comments crass , offensive and hateful!

Don't go there about the matron, @jeffgoldblum - that one still makes me incandescent, and this is the oaf we were expected to regard as a "jolly nice cheeky chappie"