Best advice for Harry going forward?

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I have all the same initial reactions as many others on MN regarding Harry i.e. whiner, grifter, stupid, entitled etc and it's easy to dole out the criticism.

However while I wouldn't say I have sympathy for him, as so much of his situation is of his own making, I actually do have some underlying feelings of concern for him and his future (and children).

He reminds me an awful lot of a relative of mine who is neurodiverse with a mild learning disability and a tendency to be self-absorbed with an overdeveloped victim complex - always lashing out, blaming others, seeing conspiracy where there is none etc.

Harry is clearly a damaged man, with childhood trauma and issues which continue to plague his mental health.
As with my relative, he has grown up with a support network which has probably quietly managed and enabled his passage through life, but when big outbursts happen (as have happened in our family too) everyone backs off and 'grey rocks' him until he has calmed down. Some people just give up, too exhausted by the constant drama of it all.

I actually think it is an addiction - being a victim. Also being angry. He’s a victim of newspapers and now the Royal Protection committee, the RF and all the Palace staff. He has had numerous court cases and, from what I can see, the MGN newspaper damages amounted to less than £1/2 million. The judge criticised him for not negotiating a settlement. Not sure if he’s any further cases pending but if he’s got any sense, he should negotiate in private.

Then we have his security issue. He gets bespoke security. Not sure the RF want him here for any reason but if he has to come, he’s protected. He doesn’t seem to respect his army friends, or be in touch with them, and has adopted a very shallow life in the USA. I think having value and purpose in life matters and he’s got neither but it’s his choice. What on earth does he do every day?

He whinges, publicly, about everyone and I can quite see why Charles has had enough. He’s more interested in protecting Camilla and William’s family. The whinging ginge has to be ignored because he cannot be trusted and Charles doesn’t want any more adverse publicity and neither does William. So it’s a stand off.

My advice to Harry is to keep doing what you’re doing. And we need to see and hear Meghan more.

These two are top entertainment. Solid gold.

Selfish, preachy, dim types who spout fortune cookie ‘wisdom’ are ten a penny in Hollywood. But there’s only one Harry and Meghan who can do all that and have royal connections and keep bees. Plus no-one else can match them for shameless cashing in and whining.

The world would be a gloomier place without this pair to laugh at.

@TizerorFizz

He doesn’t seem to respect his army friends, or be in touch with them

Don't know how many army friends he really has.

For info a lot of mil/ex-mil regarded HMTLQ as their boss, and so they'll never forgive the California based pair for the timing of the Oprah interview and will never forgive Harry for sitting back fat dumb and stupid during the Oprah interview...

@notimagainQuite a lot was made of his friendships at the time. Could have been rubbish of course but he didn’t appear friendless back then. I thought Megan didn’t like this period of his life.

In the interview he did a while back where he was asked what he missed about the UK....he ummed and aahed and then said 'the countryside'.... I thought this was so strange - surely 99% of people would say 'my family and friends '! I would love the know what Harry's old friends think of Meghan's 'love language'..

I remember the Fergie biog in the way @StartupRepair does. While she was scathing about sections of the Press (especially when using photos taken illicitly) and a lack of support from the Royal Household at times, she also acknowledged her mistakes and didn't take potshots at the RF.

I did wonder how much of the countryside he actually sees anyway. It’s not like he went out for a ramble at the weekends with his dog.

The thing that buzzfeed article doesn't take into account is, firstly all the negative press Catherine received in the early years. Secondly, that Meghan was compared negatively to Catherine in some articles in the same way Diana and Sarah were compared, to Sarah's detriment, in earlier years.

It isn't about Meghan or Catherine so much as it is about the tabloids' game of elevating individuals then knocking them down to keep the clicks coming and ensuring revenue.

Good points. It's the whole context. Plus, it's been overshadowed by the subsequent negative behaviour of the Sussexes, and their monetising of the royals' privacy.

It's a shame the interviewer didn't follow up with a question on the still unsolved killing of protected birds at Sandringham.

It was very much the other way round in the beginning. Catherine was called a frump and other derogatory terms compared to glamorous, articulate Meghan.

At one point Harry kept on he wanted a normal life - but as posters on here pointed out it wasn't a normal life as we know it.

He seems to have missed the fact RF is hierarchical and many other aspects of RF - so I image he has no idea what a constitutional monarch role is.

I think he said at one point he didn't want to touch his wealth but pass it all on to his son - and as I said to DH don't we all wish we could do that. He wants the kudos that comes with King role or being a senior royal but doesn't want the work.

Meghan has her own issues and image problems but she does seem to be trying to bring in some income and find a role for herself.

It's interesting you said this about Spare, Mayhemabounds, since I picked up on the very same thing

As with the hideously ill fitting bride/bridesmaids dresses it seems that "something" must have happened, but whether we'll ever know what it was is uncertain

Source please?

I know plenty of ordinary military personnel who definitely do not see the monarch as their “boss” , who make it very clear that they are fighting for free speech, democracy and their fellow service men and women, not QEII or the current King, and who are thoroughly pissed off that the RF have such luxurious homes, and multiple homes, while their accommodation is too small or full of damp. Or because they can’t afford to buy their own property.

And anyway, how do any of us legitimately have any information about Harry and his friends, other than reading speculation on the internet or leaked rumours? In the circles he moves in, the cost of a flight to California is hardly likely to be prohibitive is it?

As per your last sentence then about the costs of flights to California it must be that they do not wish to stay connected to him.

The press had some idea about his friends! Remember Las Vegas!!!

I have American family who are avid H and M supporters but one of the reasons they do so is because several members of the family are biracial and just jump on any cause which features black lives. Literally if Hitler was black they would support him purely because of his colour. I'm sure there are masses of people like this.

Regarding Meghan's ex husband I would imagine that he is so very grateful he is not involved in her life at all now. He of all people will know how she operates and how she retaliates against people. I imagine he is so very grateful he has forged a new life with his family away from the toxicity and does not want involved at all.

Agree. He sounds like a much better person than Harry. I wonder if she wishes she hadn’t ended that relationship sometimes.

about the costs of flights to California it must be that (the old friends) do not wish to stay connected to him

As already mentioned, @foreverblowingbubbless, the kind of society Harry used to mix with all know each other and are often associated with the RF too, so if it comes down to a choice of who to cut out in order to preserve social standing Harry really doesn't stand a chance

And I agree about Trevor Engelson, who incidentally has stayed completely schtum despite the ££££ he'll certainly have been offered
Quite an example of how to behave right there, if only H&M would follow it

The issue is also that most in the aristocracy don’t want to lose William’s good will and friendship. Faced with a choice between inviting one or the other, I assume most would favour William.

The never ending ‘James Hewitt is your father’ saga may have been more damaging than we realise. Maybe even more than his mother’s death? Of course he doesn’t speak about it but it might have messed up his vulnerable mind

Apologies if this has been mentioned but Harry was born before Diana’s relationship with James Hewitt. JH could never have been Harry’s father and that would have been made clear to him beyond any shadow of a doubt.

Exactly, Mayhemabounds - great username under the circumstances BTW - and that's why I said that Harry wouldn't stand a chance in some sort of contest around "Who can we afford to offend"

I wouldn't vacation in what is essentially a pricey bedroom community troubled by floods and wildfires. Not to mention being forced to eat meals covered in dried flowers and finding bags of TJ pretzels on my bedside table.

@Hardcrustsfromnowon654

Source please

My own opinion as someone who is ex-mil.and also discussions with other ex-mil and one or two currently serving who I'm still in touch with.

Obviously opinions will vary but there are plenty out there p'd off with his behaviour during that interview.