As ever#4 - As usual

[Words]

New thread!

But why was the priority fitting in with the A list Clooneys and A list strangers?

I think the RF are used to people 'not fitting in', it is a very narrow circle. If you worry that Harry's family will make fun.of yours, get him to make it clear you won't accept it.

Alternatively, have a small, informal wedding that isn't televised. Where your family can feel at home. Like your first wedding.

I seem to be missing large chunks of narrative. Exactly what did her father do that was so unforgettably, unforgivably awful? As far as I remember all he did was allow the press to film him getting his suits for the wedding. And if he had been guilty of child abuse why was she still so publically fond of him as an adult? Then there's all the racist headlines. I don't remember any of them. Could someone please direct me to the paper and the date that some appeared? The only negative press I remember was about what she had done or said that reflected poorly on her. Not connected to race. (Apart from the monkey business but I don't know which paper that was. Was it mainstream press?)

The timeline around the involvement of Meghan’s parents was weird for both of them. Doria only arrived 48 hours before the wedding - that barely gives you time to get over jet lag before a normal event, let alone a huge global event like that.

I have a US/UK marriage and got married in the UK and my US in-laws came over for more than a week before the wedding to meet family, get acclimated, take part in pre wedding activities etc. And we are nobodies who didn’t have to perform for the world’s media. Even the non-wedding party guests came 48 hours ahead of time to do the rehearsal dinner.

For an event like a royal wedding I’d have flown my parents over for two-three weeks ahead of the wedding. Especially my Dad who still hadn’t met my fiancé at that point. He was retired, no other commitments. I’d probably have flown him to the UK a couple of months before the wedding - had his wedding attire fitted in the UK. Gently introduced him to all the main relatives. Hired him a personal assistant and maybe some private security to let him acclimate to the UK.

What looked even better? That bit where she walked by herself before she was joined by Charles.

@User14March Catherine felt confident enough to invite Uncle Gary to her wedding - and he came in for a fair amount of less than glowing coverage in the press and a "colourful" character. Not exact equivalence I know.

Also, he was a participant in the documentary to mark Charles' 70th birthday in the autumn of 2018. He and William spoke warmly of their father, noting his ecological credentials and other positive attributes. It all changed very quickly.

Compared to some of the people the Queen was required to meet and to entertain at BP during the course of her reign, she and the RF generally could surely have coped with a possibly slightly rough around the edges retired American. Thomas had a successful career; he can't have been totally uncouth.

Oh my god 🤣 🤣 🤣!!
Those comments, I'm guessing written by a 9 year old?!

@Andylion Absolutely agree. I can't believe she hadn't thought about what that photograph her alone in the archway would look like. It is very striking.

She could have had Doria walk her down the aisle after all.

I quite agree. William and Kate should have realised how toxic Harry and Meghan had become, just how greedy and mendacious and just cut them out completely. Brother or not.

Totally agree, how did Meghan feel about it though? I’d like to think she’d not give a hoot.

You're right about the timeline. It doesn't add up...

@MissRoseDurward I don’t disagree but I do think Thomas showed a very surprising gullibility & naivety (given his credentials) in his actions in run up.

She could have had Doria walk her down the aisle after all.

Absolutely @BasiliskStare. My mum walked me down the aisle as my DF had passed away a few years before. I was so proud of her for it.
Maybe Doria didn’t want the pressure and exposure of it though. She doesn’t seem to relish the limelight like her daughter does.

I don’t think for one second that she wanted her father at the wedding and I said so on here at the time. They went through the superficial gestures that made it seem that he was coming then ‘oh dear he can’t make it’.
I suspect that they were worried that he would contradict, correct or deny claims that Meghan had made over the months before and that he potentially was a loose cannon in their eyes.
The supposed phone calls leaked by Harry and Meghan were purely for show.
I think that’s probably why there was no one other than Doria, for fear that the actual truth would come out, and that’s why there was estrangement has continued.
Possibly there are some very interesting skeletons in Meghan’s closet?

I feel Thomas Markle got a rough deal (not Samantha et al) What he did wasn't sensible but I think he might have been feeling very apprehensive as there seems to have been no attempt to, as other have suggested, prepare him at all. His health was clearly not good as evidenced by the surgery around the time of the wedding and given M's glowing praise of him as a father hitherto, it seemed cold and yes calculated. Public declarations of love and support about his health, how sad they were for him not to be there and having him over for a private visit soon after the wedding would probably have smoothed this over, had she and Harry wanted to.

It could be embarrassment or there could be an element of not wanting people who know too much about the past around. I'm looking at an aunt who maneouvered to keep her somewhat forthright elder sister away from my grandfather's funeral, as she hadn't told latest husband a number of quite interesting things about her past, but it could just be that he'd have told Harry stuff that didn't gel with her narrative, possibly innocuous stuff.

ETA cross post with @Zippedydodah , we are on the same lines!😂

Okay my curiosity was peaked re the timeline so I looked back.

Meghan and Harry start dating 2017 (maybe 2016)

Annouce engagement Nov 2017

At this point Harry has not met her Dad (although I believe from Spare he had talked to him on the phone to ‘ask permission’ to marry her)

December 2017 - the paps track him down and photo him buying beer and cigarettes in a shop. He’s asked how he feels about the wedding - says he’s thrilled but can’t say anymore.

Harry still not met his future father in law

March 2018 Thomas is approached by a pap agency to take some ‘image enhancing photos of him preparing for the wedding’ encouraged by his daughter Samantha he does the shoot.

April 2018 These ‘candid’ photos are ‘leaked’ to the press.

Harry has still not met his future father in law.

At this point according to Harry and Meghan they send security people to help him with his pap problem and are frustrated that he doesn’t want to engage with the security people. (This is where I would have flown over with a ticket and brought my Dad /father in law to the UK)

May 4th 2018 - Kensington Palace issue press release saying both Meghan’s parents will be attending and playing a part in the wedding - they confirm Thomas will be walking her down the aisle.

May 13th - six days before the wedding - the TMZ/Mail on Sunday get exclusive scoop that the pap photos of Thomas getting ready were actually arranged with his consent and payment.

Harry still has not met his future father in law.

There’s then a confusing couple of days where Thomas releases a statement saying he’s not coming, then he says he is, then he says he can’t come because he has had a heart attack.

So just days before the wedding the plan is adjusted to have Doris ride in the wedding car and Meghan do a half alone, half with Charles aisle walk.

Edited to add - to this date Harry has never met his father in law.

At the time things seemed so chaotic and Meghan’s half siblings were being so toxic in the press that I just felt very sorry for her. But in hindsight the whole thing was just so badly managed - this is aside from bridesmaid dress gate and alleged rows over the tiara.

It’s astonishing for a Royal wedding which normally work with military precision and MI6 levels of secrecy and privacy.

It just shows you what they were up against, @wordler .

I agree that Thomas could not be trusted to keep his trap shut. A couple of beers and…

He went to her first wedding; I just googled and he and Doria walked her “across the sand”. Apparently the wedding invitation featured Meghan in a bikini 🤭

That would have made a very strong feminist statement.

I remember when watching the wedding with my df, he said he felt sorry for M's dad having to miss giving his dd away. I was thinking she was looking very cheerful for someone whose father couldn't give her away because he was thousands of miles away recovering from a heart attack.

TBH I can't imagine what it is like for "ordinary" people faced with a significant role in a Royal wedding. I thought eg Jack Brooksbank's parents looked terrified at points and that's with a background that is very British and with Eton, Stowe and various baronetcies in play.

Yes I agree. For a reclusive man in poor health with no one else he knew at the wedding apart from Doria who is his ex, it must have been a terrifying prospect.

LivelyMintViper · Today 15:23
I seem to be missing large chunks of narrative. Exactly what did her father do that was so unforgettably, unforgivably awful? As far as I remember all he did was allow the press to film him getting his suits for the wedding.

Yes, - me too, Viper. I don't know the full details, possibly, but I've always wondered just what heinous crime Thomas committed to be cut off as he is. I can't believe it was just the photos of the suit fitting etc. When I've mentioned this before, Sussex supporters have jumped on me and hinted at some dark deeds done by Thomas...but what are they? I apologise for being ignorant about this.

I've always suspected (like pps on here) that it was really about Meghan's concerns about Thomas's lack of discretion. Apart from Doria I get the impression the Markle clan is chaotic, highly indiscreet and as crazy as a box of frogs. From what little I've seen, I suppose I got the impression that Thomas had an irreverent and flippant attitude to the nuptials. OK - but for his beloved daughter to cut him off completely, especially when he's been at death's door, with no hint of reconciliation, is something I can't understand. When my family have had their dramas, there's always been a way back eventually.