That whole saga was so ridiculous, on the part of both women. I consider myself to be a normal woman, normal mother, good self-esteem, plenty of good friends of decades' standing, good relations with pretty much all my extended family - basically as I see the majority of MN users. Here's what I thought about the below:
Kate to M ‘Charlotte’s dress is too baggy, too big she cried when she tried it on at home’. [Give over. She's 3yo. If she cried it wasn't because the dress was too baggy. It was because there were people fussing and losing their minds around her/ she was tired or hungry or both/ she was being shoved into a dress and poked with pins when she just wanted to draw or play. Just say what you think and ask for what you want]
M: ‘Right, I told you the tailor has been standing by since 8am. Here. At KP. Can you take Charlotte to have it altered as the other Mums are doing’ [Obviously Meghan had already told Kate the dress might not be right and adjustments would need to be made and told her the tailor is available. But "Right"??? "I told you"??? Who do you think you are? So rude! """Here. At KP "- fuck off lady, that's been my home longer than you've lived in the country. "As the other Mums are doing"? I'm not the other Mums, and Charlotte isn't the other children - we are your future family members and I'll remind you that I'm doing this because I have to not because I want to, unlike those other Mums for whom your wedding is their ultimate moment. This is your wedding and your problem, you need to sort this shit out not me, I've got a million other things I need to be doing such as tending to my newborn.]
Kate thought the dresses probably needed remaking & wedding only a few days away but not impolite.
M ‘I am not sure what else to say, if the dress doesn’t fit then take Charlotte to see Ajay, he’s been waiting all day’. [Fair enough, there probably wasn't much more to say. But NOBODY tells me or commands me, and I'm not the future queen of England! A "all I can suggest is that you take Charlotte to see Ajay", or "why don't you take the dress and Charlotte to see Ajay" wouldn't go amiss. I wouldn't speak to my own younger siblings like this let alone a future SIL who happens to be senior to me in a hierarchy I am choosing to join! And this isn't a cultural difference: here (where I live in the USA) and in the UK (where I grew up) this is ungodly rude]
H - ‘a short time later I arrived to find Meg on the floor sobbing’. [ffs 🙄]
‘Kate hadn’t meant any harm I told her. The next day Kate came by with flowers and a card to say she was sorry’. [perfect diplomacy, and very different from accepting guilt or taking responsibility - and I don't entirely believe the "to say she was sorry", that's almost certainly Harry's take on it]
Anyone who's planned a wedding can imagine the stress involved. And sure the "Meghan made Kate cry" headlines must have felt like an unfair character assassination. But to read such personal victimhood into this to the extent of talking about it on Oprah and writing about it in Spare, and to accept zero % of the responsibility or the possibility of such in recounting the affair YEARS later, speaks to such a high level of self-absorption as to belie an interest in attack, not just defence. THIS behaviour is what employees mean by "quiet shouting" when she bullies them. Rude, dismissive, belittling, crying when she feels slighted, playing the victim, vengeful, all hingeing on the tiniest shred of entitlement (the stressed out bride in this case).
Meghan isn't a feminist or ambitious and seeking female empowerment: she is interested in advancing herself and herself only, and weaponising whatever she can to get her way then hiding behind "oh they can't handle a strong and ambitious woman". Anyone who stands in her way is dispensed with, anyone she needs is love-bombed. That's not ambition. That's ugly greed. She doesn't know how to work collaboratively. Either she calls the shots or nothing.