With Love, Meghan - criticisms and genuine concern for her mental health

[Lavenderfarmcottage]

I am probably going to be flogged for posting this and chased down the dark laneways of Mumsnet as bystanders yell “Shame Shame Shame”.

I weighed in yesterday about a thread on Meghan and her new Netflix show. I made some criticisms about the trailer and certain cliche’s in the way it was produced. Hypocritical of me to be posting this but I feel guilty and have reflected. I am actually looking forward to watching it on Netflix and my criticisms were pretty minor and not exclusive to her show - it’s a common issue I have.

Meghan has struggled with mental health because of criticism. The reaction to ‘With Love… Meghan’ has been fairly brutal.

I think it would be really good if we refrained from saying anything negative about the series or Meghan Markle. That’s not the point of this thread.

I want to know if you think the criticisms have gone too far. The Princess of Wales is not on the scene and we are protective of her rightly so. That leaves Meghan as media fodder though.

Do you think it’s time Meghan and Harry were given a break ? I do. I think we’ve been far too harsh and the criticisms have gotten out of hand.

I think we also forget the cultural relevance. If we went into the homes or Gwyneth, Julia Roberts etc and I would probably feel the divide too. American culture doesn’t apologise for wealth and hollywoood is highly competitive.

Having a confident demeanour, throwing your head back Julia Roberts style when you laugh and unapologetically selling $$$ vagina products like Gwyneth Paltrow is how it over there. People talk loudly and confidently and are polished and rehearsed especially in the
Competitive world of Hollywood…

Are we all being too hard ?

She was expected to talk to the women about their experiences

Her reaction to the woman telling her dreadful story is simply wrong. The presence of babies/toys is an irrelevant diversion.

The whole purpose was to talk to the women, on the chairs as they all were before Meghan changed the choreography for the worse, and was just dreadful to that poor woman.

This wasn’t an unscripted visit to a baby group.

Compare the Duchess of Edinburgh’s interactions with women affected when she is on a visit to support campaigning against rape as a tool of war, When you start getting in to the serious briefs, you need to show you can handle them. The Duchess of Sussex did not d well on this one

It was over 5 years ago, why not put it down to inexperience? Sophie has likely had much more experience. Why does it need to be a competion?

Absolutely this. It never fails to surprise me that some will try to defend and explain the inexcusable.

It always seems to be about the optics rather than the actual issues. Meghan obviously had a plan in her head. Probably an Angelina Jolie style photo op of her sat on the floor with these ladies and children (I think of that constant little director in her head that Allison P. Davies wrote of). She couldn’t cope when the scenario didn’t play out as she had hoped. This is clear from her body language and non verbal communication. At one point flapping her arms in frustration even, when insisting they sit on the floor with her but the ladies were resisting the invitation. Then not even turning her whole body towards this poor woman who was telling of her loss. Meghan was instead politely dismissive. Just such a massive misjudgment of the engagement.
What she clearly forgot, was that these were real people with heartbreaking experiences and they were trying to connect with her rather than play out the plan for her to look good.

Isn’t creating a whole scenario in your own head the flip side of ‘defending the inexcusable’?

It’s quite ironic really that she messed up an opportunity to come across as really authentic and caring because she concentrated more on the superficial appearance side of things 🤷‍♀️

What do you mean?
How would you explain her body language and behaviour? Because it’s not normal!

Yes, absolutely!

It’s not a competition

It is however a comparison, of how a visit on a difficult subject is done well and how it is done badly

The Duchess of Sussex had many years experience of delivering the required performance (indeed wasn’t the expectation usually admiring how her royal appearances would be benefit so greatly) and it was her decision to ‘hit the ground running’

She should have followed the arrangements for this visit.

Out of interest, is it possible to think that Meghan is sometimes treated unfairly and is subject to some seriously bizarre attacks without being an "avid supporter"?

The whole scenario you made up that Meghan wanted a Angelina Jolie style photo opportunity and couldn’t cope when it didn’t play out.

I think the sit down element was a bit awkward and mismanaged but I don’t think it was a deliberate snub.

How did she have many years of experience? She joined the RF in May 2018 and this happened in October 2019.

I’m not saying it was a deliberate snub.

I haven’t made up a scenario at all. The scenario played out for us all to see. I simply read her body language and non verbal communication and responses. The only reason can be is that, she had a plan and didn’t want to deviate from it.

You could see from her body language she had a plan for an Angelina Jolie style photo opportunity?

Not on MN, at any rate.

The Angelina Jolie was a suggestion to illustrate what she might have been thinking along the lines of, but I don’t know what she was thinking. I’m not a mind reader. I am, however excellent at reading non verbal communication.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on why she would mismanage the engagement so spectacularly.

I completely agree, OP. Leave the woman alone. If you don't like her show, don't watch it. I am not really a royalist but I feel so sorry for them all particularly the female members - Kate and Meghan - who seem to get so much hideous abuse and criticism. If you don't like either of them it is completely fine but writing horrible things on the internet is awful.

She whines about her mental health one minute then is on Netflix baking cookies and hamming up her sickly sweet life the next.

Ambassador for the marginalised masses, Mother Teresa, career woman, Hollywood star, British Royalty, Disney princess, mental health campaigner, all American mom baking cookies.... Who the hell is she? She doesn't even seem to know herself.

The woman is a stupid fool. I have zero sympathy for her.

How did she have many years of experience? She joined the RF in May 2018 and this happened in October 2019.

Didn't she do this before she met Harry? I think she posted lots of Instagram photos of herself in Africa with children, when she want with a charity.

Who knows? Maybe she wasn’t briefed properly? Maybe she was briefed but thought she’d try a more natural approach and it didn’t fully work out?

Either way, she had joined the RF 17 months prior to this event and had spent a lot of time either pregnant or with a small baby, so I’d cut her some slack.

If you remember, there was so much positivity about Harry and Meghan getting married. I for one was really pleased about the breath of fresh air a beautiful, POC, older, American woman could bring to the RF. Do you remember the street parties for the wedding? The positivity from so many of the GBP? The crowds, the great waves of public support? She certainly 'hit the ground running' in terms of positive acceptance, if she is 'treated unfairly' do you think it might be something Meghan has done herself to destroy all that public goodwill?

Yes, she went to Africa in 2016 for World Vision, the year she met Harry., but before she became a member of the RF.

You mean “ the spectacle for the world “ ? Costing £33million

Such breathtaking arrogance .

Is it not possible that Harry did indeed say that he told the Queen that he wanted to name the baby in her honour and she assumed he meant Elizabeth ?

Nope, she came into the RF claiming she had more experience in humanitarian/ charity work than the royals did*. She wanted to hit the ground running and did not want guidance/training from Sophie or anyone else.

*based on a couple of pay to play photo shoots with World Vision.

Edit: she claimed to have this experience in the "Fab Four" interview.

I think this is a perceptive comment - and it crystallised something for me.

I agree M is socially inept - she is completely at a loss when the attention isn't on her - she starts seal-clapping, talking to herself, all kinds of things but she seems incapable of being calm, still and focused on someone or something else.

I don't like her - just in case that hadn't come across! But actually, I think it may not be her fault, fundamentally. I think she has grown up in such a weird world that there probably isn't a real Meghan - just a persona. She is always, always acting the part and I see nothing genuine, ever, in the way she interacts with others. I could (but I won't, don't worry) list lots of video clips which show her behaving in a similar way to the SA HIV women's meeting. She is performative - she's clearly watched Diana etc and has picked up a few tips of how to seem empathetic, but it's just not real for her - she absolutely cannot get outside herself.

At the IG even in Canada there's film of her sashaying around in her expensive gear, looking for photo ops. She comes across a boy in a wheelchair and ducks down, sort of leans in to him, grinning at the camera, and then off she goes, without so much as speaking to him or his parents or otherwise acknowledging him as an individual But hey! She got the photo of her cuddling up to a disabled child, so what's not to like? And the point I'm making is that she probably sees nothing wrong with her behaviour - she has no empathy and thinks it's about the optics.

I think, with M, for me it's the hypocrisy. She craves fame, attention and adulation and I don't like the way she uses others to achieve it. If she'd always just been a life-style 'influencer' with no claims to higher things I wouldn't be so blooming irritated by her!