Harry’s anxiety in NY

[Makingwaves2]

What to make of the fact that he appeared without Meghan and looked quite anxious and stressed?

Children should not be punished or judged for the actions of their parents.

No they shouldn't, but it might mean they themselves may prefer to lead a more private life as a consequence or it might mean the RF decide (unfairly) the whole York clan is now tainted and not worth the risk to their image.

This. Anyone intelligent and interesting and interested in something other than navel gazing, shagging and partying would be able to make a fantastic job of being the spare. All the resources at your fingertips, none of the burden. Maybe their being dim, over-sexed males is the problem, not their status as "spare".

I don't think that's fair. Both got very respectable degrees (in Beatrice's case despite the difficulties caused by dyslexia), have worked and done significant charity work. Their father's activities are nothing to do with them.

Counsellors of State have traditionally been the spouse of the monarch plus the next four in the line of succession over the age of 21.

Currently that is Camilla, William, Harry, Andrew and Beatrice. In 2022 they amended the Regency Act to include Anne and Edward.

If the King is out of action they need two (or more) to step in and do the most of the constitutional duties of the monarch.

So for Charles - Camilla and William can cover it - with support from Anne and Edward if necessary.

For William - he will probably have Catherine, Anne and Edward. In 11 years he'll have George and in 13 years Charlotte will be eligible.

I never understand Harry's perception that he's "just a spare". I'm quite sure that neither of his parents viewed him in those terms. I'm a second child, it never occurred to me that I was "just a spare" and equally my second child is emphatically 100% loved in her own right and not a spare for anything. Sure, he's heard the story about "an heir and a spare" but that is really meaningless nowadays, even in the monarchy. I get the feeling that Harry has really made an active decision to take it all very very seriously simply to justify his constant self-pity. No-one had to do anything to make him feel better about, because there was nothing for him to feel bad about: on any interpretation he was living a fantastically privileged lifestyle and had that open to him and his family for the rest of his life if he wanted. Anyway, he hasn't been a spare since 2013, so he had time to get over it all well before he buggered off.

As for the "kick in the teeth", that's ridiculous. He wanted a position where he could have all the privileges with none of the responsibilities, or only those responsibilities that he fancied keeping. It's hardly surprising that the response to that was a No, and if he had applied his brain to the issue properly he would have worked that one out for himself.

Princess Anne managed to carve out a productive live for herself. She was the Spare, and then went down the line of succession, she's now 17th in line. No constant moaning about it. Funny that.

Take away the money and privileges as you call it fundamentally knowing you were born as a spare, it doesn't matter how much someone would say i really wanted you, bottom line is he was born a spare.

What do you mean, born a spare? His brother is ahead of him in the line of succession but that doesn't mean he wasn't just as wanted and loved within the family. There were plenty of people in line behind William, it's not like it was essential for Charles to have another child to safeguard the monarchy or anything. Yes he is unlikely to be king but so what, many people would see more pros than cons to that. And he's hardly the only one in that position. The others seem to manage without letting the biting jealousy show though.

Yes you try telling a child that and hope they understand the difference andnjust be ok with it 🙄

I think it seems odd to us because we have seen him as one of eight grandchildren to the monarch for so long so you've got William and then 7 other grandchildren who all had to manage being equally loved grandchildren while dealing with one of their number being the future monarch.

But within the system, Harry was always going to be treated differently until the point William started producing heirs.

That's the Spare Dilemma - they have to be brought up with a certain amount of education, training and potential expectation for the 'just in case' scenario. Much easier to be Anne's children and Edward's children who are brought up with the fairly sure expectation that they will never have to be monarch and also highly likely they won't be part of any official royal role.

I think it is a hard experience to live through - hovering on 'almost important' until your sibling procreates. Of course in olden times they dealt with that pressure by scheming and trying to take it by force or intrigue. Modern day disgruntled Princes just get to moan to Netflix and Oprah.

It will be interesting to see how Charlotte is guided through this system. I suspect the approach will be to focus on an independent career with the 'what if' scenario acknowledged but set to one side.

How extraordinary that some believe that if you're not the heir to the throne in the RF, you're somehow hard done by and underprivileged.
Harry has marketed his victimhood well.

He’s not a child now though, is he? Plenty of children feel they have some sort of cross to bear due to their birth position, but they manage to grow up and see that actually, that was just their childish feelings and get over it

I can see the expectation in Harry but I'm not seeing the education and training. Did you see the recent appearance he made where he slounged in his chair and didn't stand up and acknowledge the two female speakers as they came onto the stage, and then referred to them repeatedly as 'you guys'. You would never guess his royal background if you didn't know.

Well - I suppose it depends on the individual how well they rise to the potential position!

But actually if you look at his appearances when managed by the royal teams he was pretty good at it. And usually looked happy to be there with the odd scowly face. He's not very good at hiding his internal feelings, I think. So if he's happy it's there on his face, if he's unhappy, or nervous, or bored, it's all there on his face.

Edited to add - re the not getting up for the female speakers - that's very odd behaviour as manners, social protocols and politeness should have been drilled into him via his upbringing and his army training. You'd think that would be automatic and not easily forgotten.

Yes I agree he used to come across well enough. I think he's put himself into a life now where he is doing the opposite of playing his strengths.

On Tattle Life there has been some speculation that H&M are splitting up. He hasn't mentioned her in ages, hasn't come to her defence with the Hollywood Reporter accusations, and has been out and about a lot without her. And he didn't mention her in his birthday message - only the children. It does seem a bit odd.

This sort of rumour rears its ugly head from time to time. And I really hope there is nothing to it.

There does seem to be brand separation, but that's been going on and for since Spare (when M did not accompany him on any of the publicity for that). Rumours of divorce swirled then as well

Don't you think William will have to follow in the late Queen's footsteps??

Naive to think you know whether he works hard or not!

You know very well that you big them up every chance you get.

The could do worse than follow the perfectly good examples of 'spares' in Princess Anne and Prince Edward.

There were 3 spares in the generation of George VI.

I don't think they got married "at the earliest convenience" seeing as Beatrice was 32 and Eugenie 28 when they got married!

And their father is an alleged sex offender.

Calling them "useless articles" is really mean and unnecessary!!

Same - on the contrary!!

Being the 'spare' to me would be the much preferable option! Much more freedom than the heir has, but with all the perks (unless you're counting sausages!)

I know! Being Spare is a better deal. However, only if you're bright enough to understand why.