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The royal family

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Meghan, Duchess of Sussex spotted out and about

1000 replies

queentim · 16/08/2023 16:29

Recently spotted at a TSwift (allegedly), Barbie movie for her birthday, a restaurant, and then hanging out with friends in an Instagram selfie. She looks phenomenal in this photo!

Glad to see she's enjoying her life back home with her family.

Meghan summer selfie

A Rare New Selfie of Meghan Markle Shows Her Casual Late Summer Style

Meghan's friends offered the little peek into their private life together.

https://www.elle.com/culture/celebrities/a44820862/meghan-markle-selfie-casual-late-summer-style/

OP posts:
Thread gallery
27
queentim · 25/09/2023 15:47

PrincessTigger · 25/09/2023 15:46

I think we may be talking about different people to be honest. Occupational hazard of talking about people who are not here to defend themselves…

More like occupational hazard of jumping in without reading, and trying to mod, which is MNHQs job*

OP posts:
Roussette · 25/09/2023 15:48

Because they have been on this thread but are a PBP

Mylovelygreendress · 25/09/2023 15:51

Roussette · 25/09/2023 15:44

Well. ... exactly. It's obvious who this was.

It's hard to change writing styles, the signs are there however much you try to disguise it.

If they wanted to go because of 'a toxic environment '...why come back?! It can't have been that bad then!

If you are talking about me , I haven’t been banned . I stopped posting as I felt I was being bullied by a poster.

Roussette · 25/09/2023 15:54

I'm not talking about you. Why would I?

Maybe scroll back and check out the deletion messages from MNHQ

MrsMaxDeWinter · 25/09/2023 16:05

@Daisyislazy

You have said it well. Rappers, singers, athletes, not a threat.

But enter a space considered "white", and there is hell to pay.

One day, when I am ready, I will "out" myself for real!

It will be like those old Scooby cartoons.

"Now, let's see who is really under this mask!"

(Mask peels off)

"Gasp! Professor McFilibert!"

"And I would have got away with it too if it hadn't been for you pesky kids"😁

StormzyinaTCup · 25/09/2023 16:12

😮What the f**ck has happened on here this morning. More holes than Swiss cheese.

<picks up cup of tea and choc hob nob and backs out of room pronto>

Daisyislazy · 25/09/2023 16:17

MrsMaxDeWinter · 25/09/2023 16:05

@Daisyislazy

You have said it well. Rappers, singers, athletes, not a threat.

But enter a space considered "white", and there is hell to pay.

One day, when I am ready, I will "out" myself for real!

It will be like those old Scooby cartoons.

"Now, let's see who is really under this mask!"

(Mask peels off)

"Gasp! Professor McFilibert!"

"And I would have got away with it too if it hadn't been for you pesky kids"😁

You are the janitor!

MrsMaxDeWinter · 25/09/2023 16:18

The evil janitor, that's me!!

TallerSally · 25/09/2023 16:27

@MrsMaxDeWinter , hugely interesting, albeit likely difficult to explore in any depth on MN.

Indeed it's clear that "stay in the lane we've defined for you" is central to it, but I believe it's even more deep-seated, going back to perceptions white women (and men) had of black women back in the days of slavery and plantations, and which likely still prevail today.

I would highlight sexual rivalry and the need to protect white male husbands and sons, competition for place and recognition in our patriarchal society, and resulting threat to sense of self-worth, as potential routes to explore...

Iwantcakeeveryday · 25/09/2023 16:29

PrincessTigger · 25/09/2023 15:11

That poster has not been banned, is not posting under a new account, and I think it’s unkind to be talking about people who chose to leave because of the toxic environment. Let people go if they want to go, move on.

I think you may owe the OP an apology:

*Zippygeorgeandbungle · Today 09:46

This reply has been deleted
This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.*

MrsMaxDeWinter · 25/09/2023 16:39

@TallerSally

That's such great comment thank you. Indeed, there are deep seated issues and MN is definitely not the place .. at least, not this forum.

A few of my friends here have been urging me to post more on the BlackMumsetters forum which is a safer space, and I hope that you and others will join me there when I do. It's for all Mumenstters interested in exploring some of these issues (as well as lighter stuff about hair!) in a less cantankerous space!!

That said, I have learned a lot from this space, and am grateful for the insights I have gained, even from those who would rather I didn't post!

@queentim sorry to hijack! Off to do some work, and will be back when we have another MM sighting!

PrincessTigger · 25/09/2023 16:44

TallerSally · 25/09/2023 16:27

@MrsMaxDeWinter , hugely interesting, albeit likely difficult to explore in any depth on MN.

Indeed it's clear that "stay in the lane we've defined for you" is central to it, but I believe it's even more deep-seated, going back to perceptions white women (and men) had of black women back in the days of slavery and plantations, and which likely still prevail today.

I would highlight sexual rivalry and the need to protect white male husbands and sons, competition for place and recognition in our patriarchal society, and resulting threat to sense of self-worth, as potential routes to explore...

There is the theory of the pedestal woman where patriarchy will allow a woman to be successful, providing successful women remain a minority, so she can be both a) used as “proof” patriarchy doesn’t exist because how can it when X has been so successful, and b) knocked off it very easily.

That said, it’s theory so it doesn’t perfectly fit onto real life situations. For example, I don’t think it’s possible to say that Meghan would have gotten less criticism had she been a white man since of course Harry, who is a white man, has come in for a lot of criticism for doing the same things.

I also think theories which apply at a macro level always work really badly when worked down to the individual. For example, I consider myself a fan of M and I have since she first came on the scene. I liked that she seemed really down to earth and had a lot of ambition for what she could achieve (not for herself but for the community). That said, she’s said things which I thought were a little unkind, and I’ve never been convinced by the argument that by saying “I don’t think X was a very nice or productive thing to do” I am endorsing every single person who has ever said anything critical or mean about her.

So the theory is interesting to an extent but… what can you do with it?

queentim · 25/09/2023 16:45

Thank you @MrsMaxDeWinter !@MrsMaxDeWinter ! Hope to see you here again when we see MM out and about again enjoying her life!

OP posts:
AuroraCake · 25/09/2023 17:04

Are you kidding me. My message was deleted for saying the M and H discourse was a toxic environment. Actually laughing. What nonsense. Life has more about it than this.

skullbabe · 25/09/2023 17:04

Iwantcakeeveryday · 25/09/2023 16:29

I think you may owe the OP an apology:

*Zippygeorgeandbungle · Today 09:46

This reply has been deleted
This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.*

They’re still here………..and no Green Dress Lady it’s not you. 🤐

MrsFiddle · 25/09/2023 17:08

MrsMaxDeWinter · 25/09/2023 15:16

@MrsFiddle

It does make you wonder where online bullying starts and light hearted fun ends. You refer to white groups targeting 4 black women and doing research or something on them. It must be difficult to assign the degree of "light hearted fun" at times.

You are SO kind to express this interest.

Michelle Obama being accused of being a man, and of having kidnapped her daughters, is not light hearted fun. So it's an easy demarcation to make.
Likewise, Meghan being accused of fraudulently inserting children into the line of succession, is not light hearted fun. Serena, and Beyonce, being accused of fake pregnancies, and Serena being accused of being a man in drag, again not lighthearted.

I am looking into why some white women (mainly) are so keen to spread these conspiracy theories about these four specific women. Specifically, what is it that makes some (not all) white women hate these black women to the point of accusing them of being criminals and frauds. It's particularly striking that these are women who are, in many ways "firsts".

I am developing a number of theories and one of them is that it may be a scarcity issue: there is a feeling that they "got away" with something desirable to some white women that they don't believe black women also deserve, lots of money, a place in the royal family, tennis trophies, being part of a black presidency, etc etc and that these women have to be "exposed".

It's interesting to me that the one woman who has followed the usual trajectory associated with black women in the public eye, of being a successful musician, gets the least online hate of the three, but the three who have entered worlds considered "white" so tennis, the UK Royal Family, the White House, get a disproportionate amount of online hate.

I have spent a lot of time on various fora to understand it, and that includes Mumsnet, where the Meghan conspiracies have popped up. The difference between this and other social media forums is that the moderation tends to be better, but the attitudes are the same. Hence the strange love affair some posters here have with Thomas Markle and his white children, while fanning flames against Meghan and Doria.

I am also getting the sense that a lot of Meghan haters are isolated, alienated, and rather sad. It's the obsessiveness that gives it away, and the rage. There's research being done by others about how hating public figures is a way of bonding for alienated people. So there is a human side to it, that I want to understand.

Edited

I have no idea where you see/read/hear these things but it must certainly be a small group of crazies conspiracy theorists/whatever. I know that there are crazies everywhere and trying to understand them is impossible. Certain countries seem to produce more than their fair share however. I have to see I haven't seen a love affair on here about Thomas Markle and his children but may not see everything TBF.

MissElinorDashwood · 25/09/2023 17:15

Oh, my message was deleted too. Totally understandable when I see who was previously banned.

Am I allowed to congratulate myself for noticing when something was…off?

I know we all have differing views, and sometimes it can get a little ‘terse’ in these spaces but it’s noticeable when someone comes in with ulterior motives. Those messages tend to be particularly cruel and out of synch.

(I didn’t report any posts btw)

Edited because I clicked post before finishing message

Roussette · 25/09/2023 17:21

MrsFiddle · 25/09/2023 17:08

I have no idea where you see/read/hear these things but it must certainly be a small group of crazies conspiracy theorists/whatever. I know that there are crazies everywhere and trying to understand them is impossible. Certain countries seem to produce more than their fair share however. I have to see I haven't seen a love affair on here about Thomas Markle and his children but may not see everything TBF.

Really really really I am not a WOC but I have seen all of that. And more.
I don't go on.bottom feeding sites either. There is awful stuff out there about Michelle Obama and Serena Williams (anyone remember the cartoon about her after she broke a racquet?). And of course Meghan. Two pathetic picture posts by a PBP on here for starters!

As for Thomas Markle, he has been defended very vigorously in the past on MN.

MissElinorDashwood · 25/09/2023 17:22

MissElinorDashwood · 25/09/2023 17:15

Oh, my message was deleted too. Totally understandable when I see who was previously banned.

Am I allowed to congratulate myself for noticing when something was…off?

I know we all have differing views, and sometimes it can get a little ‘terse’ in these spaces but it’s noticeable when someone comes in with ulterior motives. Those messages tend to be particularly cruel and out of synch.

(I didn’t report any posts btw)

Edited because I clicked post before finishing message

Edited

‘Ulterior motive’ is the wrong word. Not sure what the right word is.

Anyway, some interesting, thought provoking posts today.

Thank you, ladies.

MrsFiddle · 25/09/2023 17:23

TallerSally · 25/09/2023 16:27

@MrsMaxDeWinter , hugely interesting, albeit likely difficult to explore in any depth on MN.

Indeed it's clear that "stay in the lane we've defined for you" is central to it, but I believe it's even more deep-seated, going back to perceptions white women (and men) had of black women back in the days of slavery and plantations, and which likely still prevail today.

I would highlight sexual rivalry and the need to protect white male husbands and sons, competition for place and recognition in our patriarchal society, and resulting threat to sense of self-worth, as potential routes to explore...

That is an interesting point but one that I found the complete opposite in my 26 odd years of living in black communities. It was black women who were antagonistic if any white woman partnered with a black man. Many of the senior politicians in these countries had white usually foreign born wives. It was seen by some as "nationals not being good enough" for such a status. Many black men desired to have a relationship with a white woman I guess following what they saw in leaders. Children bickered about their skin colour. Women rubbed bleaching cream into their baby's skin. Nationalities ranked themselves in terms of "being better" than others.

MrsFiddle · 25/09/2023 17:27

@Roussette No I don't remember any cartoon as I don't look at these bottom feeding sites as you call them. What on earth has it to with you being a WOC or not?

PrincessTigger · 25/09/2023 17:33

MrsFiddle · 25/09/2023 17:27

@Roussette No I don't remember any cartoon as I don't look at these bottom feeding sites as you call them. What on earth has it to with you being a WOC or not?

It was a horrible, racist cartoon of the sort that is sadly not rare even from supposedly progressive publications… Steve Bell continues to be published in the Guardian, for example.

But yeah, not hugely relevant. I’d be surprised if nobody had done a racist cartoon of Meghan given their prevalence, but not one I can think of.

Iwantcakeeveryday · 25/09/2023 17:36

MrsFiddle · 25/09/2023 17:27

@Roussette No I don't remember any cartoon as I don't look at these bottom feeding sites as you call them. What on earth has it to with you being a WOC or not?

The cartoon was not in a 'bottom feeding site' it was in the Australian 'The Herald Sun' and widely discussed at the time.

TallerSally · 25/09/2023 17:37

Goodness @MrsFiddle, attempting to deviate from the very specific research question @MrsMaxDeWinter articulated is rather unhelpful. Of course interracial issues are complex, who ever claimed otherwise? But one does not negate the other, and attempting to amalgamate and over-simplify feels like an attempt to dismiss the issue, and perhaps deny an uncomfortable truth?...

White women can enjoy getting sun-tans, or hair extensions or Kim Kardashian bottoms or Beyoncé songs or whatever and still feel deeply threatened by black women, particularly outspoken, attractive, (once) adulated, mixed-heritage part/white ones who've 'stolen' a white prince, then had the audacity to bounce.

But I did suggest this forum was unlikely to be the place for thoughtful engagement on this topic. @MrsMaxDeWinter happy to see you on the other one! (wherever it is - I have no idea)

Daisyislazy · 25/09/2023 17:47

@MrsFiddle " if it's white , it's alright ".

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