William was in the wrong re Harry’s wedding

[MaybelleMary]

Re William didn’t stay over with Harry the night before his wedding and caused a fuss about having to go to the hotel he was in the night before for dinner. As his only brother and as best man he should’ve been there with him. We hear all the time how wonderful and amazing Catherine’s family are - surely on the occasion of his only sibling getting married her parents could’ve come over to help her with her newborn and the children for the night. They have nannies and cleaners and staff so not exactly short of help in general.

my DH has only one brother too. He got married when my baby was 6 weeks old post a difficult c-section. We went to the hotel for 3 nights - so DH could have drinks with his brother and bridal party the night before, the night of the wedding and the night after the wedding. I was fine with this as it was his only siblings wedding. Yes it was difficult for me and exhausting but it was important to us both that we made a big effort for his DBro especially as (like Harry) they were missing a parent at the wedding.

from my view either William or Catherine or both didn’t care enough to put themselves out for Harry and his wedding which reflects poorly on them.

@IcedPurple rather than being consistently unkind to me for no discernable reason other than that I've criticised people you clearly like (neither of whom either of us know, so really it's not that big a deal), would you like to engage in discussion about the book?

I've apologised for my comments about the PoW. Genuine error on my part and I didn't mean any offence whatsoever. I feel sorry for the woman.

And genuine apologies if I offended anyone re: PoW and eating disorder. I genuinely thought everyone shared this view. Everyone I know does. Clearly I've stepped on a hornet's nest I had no idea existed. Mea culpa.

What the fuck does it matter if she does have an eating disorder? She has never sought to make capital out of her weight. I can literally shed a stone in days when I am super stressed and anxious. The amount of stress she's been under these last couple of years, with her BIL and SIL throwing shit at her and her kids and husband, may be taking its toll on her body. Ever thought of that? Why would you use your belief that she has an eating disorder as a stick to beat her with, rather than feeling sympathy for her?

I went back to find the “consistently unkind” posts - all looked rather juicy 😁 - but not able to find any. Why is disagreement synonymous with being “unkind” these days?

Is anyone else wondering why someone who 'doesn't give a shit about the RF' is so keen to get people debating PH's book?

This.

OP neither you nor Harry get to tell the rest if the world what they ‘should’ do. No one ‘stayed over with’ my DH the night befor our wedding. Me and DH spent it quite happily in our usual bed without any need for fraternal assistance.

If Harry wanted to get drunk at a hotel the night before and then make money by publishing everything that his family have ever said privately, that’s up to him. If William would rather look after his newborn than go out and get drunk, that’s an attitude I think most Mumsnetters can get behind.

But why is Harry automatically disbelieved on this? Is it really that inconceivable to people that William may not have been that nice a brother to Harry?

I think it's a bit much to describe him as a drug addled man child, as if he's an awful person. As he says in the book - he took drugs in order to check out of an existence he found too painful. People take drugs because they're suffering. They want oblivion, escape. I think that's something to find pity for, not censure.

I'm really interested to understand people's thoughts on this. Harry seems to have lost the public's trust on anything. And yet he's been more open than anyone else in the RF. Surely there must be some truth to what he's saying? Otherwise why else would he risk everything to say it?

Honestly I think that Will probably loves his brother but doesn't like him very much.
That's why he didn't want to go out drinking with him the night before.
Will didn't choose him as best man, and then Harry didn't choose him.

For those with loving siblings this is hard to understand but there are many siblings who don't have a relationship at all, and I think this is the case with Will and Harry.

I got the sense that Harry is a deeply troubled person who has been managed for want of a better word, by the family since his mothers death.

I really do not care about whether William went to Harry's pre wedding celebrations or not. I am not a fan of either but I do know that if my brother was the type of twat who would try to publicly humiliate our family because he felt hard done by then I probably wouldn't want to hang out with him much either.

I often find that those who go on about conspiracy theorists and nutters (when they aren’t met with a full and enthusiastic endorsement of their opinion and experience) should feel right at home.

Well tbf most people take drugs for fun or they enjoy them. People with chronic drug problems take them to numb themselves. I mean harry isn’t going to get much sympathy if he said I love being coked off my head and I love smoking weed is he. The drugs stories were already out there so he had to find a narrative for them. Maybe he does take them to numb the pain but it’s equally as likely that he just loves the feeling they give him. The former is going to play much better with the audience though isn’t it, especially as he admits to still taking drugs in Canada at least

If you knew the truth and the full story from both side then I think you might be in a position to judge

I think it does matter that the future Queen of our country clearly has an eating disorder, and she's walking around with it in plain sight. And yet rather than this being something people are concerned about, she's merely praised for her fantastic figure and gorgeousness etc. And anyone who picks up on it being in issue is told how dare they even MENTION it, it's disrespectful, she's gorgeous, etc etc.

That's fucked up.

I think it's horrific that the poor woman is clearly struggling and under a huge amount of pressure and yet the result of that is praised. Would we be having the same discussion if she were a man, I wonder?

And I DO feel a huge amount of sympathy for her and have said so. I haven't used it as a stick to beat her with, anywhere. I think she must live a life of inordinate stress and pressure and I wouldn't swap places with her for anything.

If DD comes home and tells me she has been bullied I listen and try to understand exactly what has happened. I acknowledge her feelings and why she feels that way.

I then consider whether the other person involved could have a different perspective, and encourage DD to consider that. Also consider if DD has contributed to the conflict - sometimes she can over-react and needs to learn to appreciate other points of view/walk away.

Then we discuss what should be done to address the situation.

At the weekend DD got a threatening SM message from a new girl at school. She decided that she wanted to ask the girl if she (DD) had done anything to make her angry. The other girl said she hadn't, and then DD asked about the message. It turned out that the new girl was hanging out with some other new friends (she is new to the country as well as area) and the 'friends' had got hold of her phone and sent those messages to people in her contacts list. Other girl was very apologetic. DD decided to accept the explanation, but will review that if it happens again.

I supported her decisions. If it happens again I will raise the idea that the other girl is involved/making bad choices. If it doesn't then it is likely the other girl was naive/trying to make friends and therefore allowing breaking boundaries.

So, to answer your question, if DD comes home saying she has been bullied then I listen and take it seriously. But I don't assume that her perspective is the only perspective.

And I don't think Harry is lying in his book. I think he genuinely believes his truth.
He's shone a light on a very dysfunctional family.
People with close happy families don't understand why he's done this or just assume the Royals are just like us but with more money.
The main thing I've taken from this that not much has really changed in the family dynamics for thousands of years.

I think it does matter that the future Queen of our country clearly has an eating disorder, and she's walking around with it in plain sight. And yet rather than this being something people are concerned about, she's merely praised for her fantastic figure and gorgeousness etc. And anyone who picks up on it being in issue is told how dare they even MENTION it, it's disrespectful, she's gorgeous, etc etc.

Funny how this 'I want to debate PH's book' has become 'let's attack Kate, her appearance and her health under the guise of being concerned for her, the poor wee stressed thing,' hasn't it?

I don't think she's got an eating disorder, I was exceptionally thin at her age about 10 years ago, my sister still is 🤷‍♀️

But why is Harry automatically disbelieved on this?

Because Harry and Meghan have been proven to have lied and/or to have a completely twisted perspective on other events. If you're consistently caught out saying things that aren't true people will automatically disbelieve other stuff you say.

'clearly'...

= your opinon

This thread is bonkers first of does anyone really believe the wales don’t have staff,
how long wee Harry and Meghan supposed to wait to get married? Until everyone else’s children were over a certain age ?????

There are so many bonkers and delusional people on this thread.

Anyone actually read the book?

There are so many bonkers and delusional people on this thread.

I agree 😂you being one of them

STOP TALKING SHITE ABOUT KATE HAVING AN EATING DISORDER!

It's not ok. You know it's not ok. We've told you it's not ok. You've apologised because you know it's not ok. And yet you're still fucking doing it. IT*S NOT OK. FFS!

Fgs Kate does not have an eating disorder. She is very slim. She obviously watches what she eats, doesn’t drink alcohol and is very active. She has given birth to three healthy children and seems to have had no problem conceiving, which if you are a very low weight can be very difficult. Has every model got an eating disorder then? If you look at her face there are none of the tell tell signs of anorexica for one and no it’s obviously not all fillers (she went a bit over board though w the forehead Botox on that trip to the states which aged her, seems to have calmed down now). Absolutely ridiculous suggestion. I also do not know where these posters saying she looks absolutely miserable get it from either, she always looks happy any time I’ve seen her, genuinely happy not Harry’s monotone dead eyed ‘I’ve never been so happy, right’ version of happy. People are out to get her out of sheer jealousy.

Zara is a cousin, so would take her chances. But your only brother and his wife having a baby 3 weeks beforehand??? By all means go for that date, but accept that their priorities will not be your wedding at that point.

As was Harry and William's own mother. Who would have also been Queen Consort (this year in fact, officially, when the Coronation takes place) had she and Charles stayed together.

I haven't read the book but I'd be interested @EnidSpyton in knowing what Harry's reasoning was to have his wedding less than a month after Catherine had given birth. Given that PW and PoW announced her pregnancy in September 2017 and H and M announced the engagement in November 2017. They announced the wedding date in December. Three months after they knew Catherine would be due her child around April/May.

So both H & M would have been able to calculate before they came up with the wedding date that Catherine would have just given birth (even if the announcement hadn't included April as the birth month). Or did he completely ignore commenting on that as he seems to have done for anything where he or Meghan could possibly have done the wrong thing?