William was in the wrong re Harry’s wedding

[MaybelleMary]

Re William didn’t stay over with Harry the night before his wedding and caused a fuss about having to go to the hotel he was in the night before for dinner. As his only brother and as best man he should’ve been there with him. We hear all the time how wonderful and amazing Catherine’s family are - surely on the occasion of his only sibling getting married her parents could’ve come over to help her with her newborn and the children for the night. They have nannies and cleaners and staff so not exactly short of help in general.

my DH has only one brother too. He got married when my baby was 6 weeks old post a difficult c-section. We went to the hotel for 3 nights - so DH could have drinks with his brother and bridal party the night before, the night of the wedding and the night after the wedding. I was fine with this as it was his only siblings wedding. Yes it was difficult for me and exhausting but it was important to us both that we made a big effort for his DBro especially as (like Harry) they were missing a parent at the wedding.

from my view either William or Catherine or both didn’t care enough to put themselves out for Harry and his wedding which reflects poorly on them.

I agree with you OP.

My husband was best man when my (very unsettled and challenging) first baby was 10 weeks old. He had to go abroad for the wedding for a week. In the end I stayed home because I just couldn't cope with travelling, wasn't managing with the baby at home let alone in a strange place and still had medical stuff going on.

It was difficult but I am so glad DH went. He is like a brother to his best mate and it was an important day to show up and be there emotionally for someone.

Getting married when a parent has died is bitter sweet. His mother was already not going to be there. His brother should have stepped up. It was a once in a lifetime thing.

Also practically speaking, few women on earth would have more practical support or resources than Kate. She would have been fine. Also it was her third baby, I'm sure she knew what she was doing and could have managed tor one night.

I think the brothers had already fallen out by then, StarSand. Dogbowlgate was the least of it.

He had to go abroad for the wedding for a week.

So nothing like the H&M wedding then.

He is like a brother to his best mate and it was an important day to show up and be there emotionally for someone.

In Harry's own words, his brother is his nemesis, there is no supportive relationship between them. Why would Harry want an unsupportive and reluctant brother with him overnight (don't forget, W was there for H for his pre wedding night dinner)? And for what purpose? Since Harry says he married the love of his life, what support did he need while he was sleeping?

But he was there for the wedding.

He was also there for the majority of the night before.

He supported him for the walkabout.

He spent the evening having dinner with him.

He turned up early the next morning and spent the morning before the wedding with him and then walked to church with him.

He participated in the wedding.

His two older children participated in the wedding.

His three weeks post partum wife participated in the wedding including helping to wrangle the party of bridesmaids and pageboys in and out of cars and into the chapel.

They both went to one reception.

He went to both receptions.

The ONLY thing he didn’t do for Harry was sleep in the same hotel overnight and have a late night drinking session.

In the end I stayed home

So, unlike Kate, you were not part of the wedding party the following day, you did not need to make sure your two very young/ toddler children - also part of the wedding party - and yourself were rested, calm and ready for the wedding the next day.

The more we pick over this the more admiration I have for Kate!

Truly extraordinary of her to keep it together under extremely difficult circumstances, all while less than a month postpartum. I hope she got to spend the following few days in bed!

wasn't managing with the baby

Kate was 3 weeks post partum. All the nannies in the world are not going to be the same for that baby than his mum. If she was breastfeeding, she had to deal with that conundrum too - I don't think they do wet nurses any more. So that's make sure she got sleep and didn't look like shit for the world's cameras the next day, settle and hand over a 3 week old, settle/calm/dress/give a talking to/give support to 2 children under 5 who will also have the world's cameras on them the next day.

Why does anyone think their family wedding anecdotes bear any resemblance to the scenario of a royal wedding being beamed around the world, where the SIL and her children are an integral part of the whole thing and being stared at by billions of people too?

Imagine trying to pump enough milk to leave a newborn in the weeks before you are compelled to attend a globally televised wedding?

Unlike Kate I didn't have an army of people there doing the cooking, laundry, organising for me as well as Nannies, hairstylists and make up artists on hand.

if only it was possible to pay someone to do the post partum sweats on a new mothers behalf too eh?

i didn’t even want to leave my newborn with my mum/sister let alone a paid baby sitter/nanny (regardless of how posh the nanny uniform might be).

@DaughterOfPsychiatrist out of curiosity, how does Williams presence or absence impact her postpartum sweating?

William couldn't sweat or breastfeed for her either. She has a famously supportive family and an eco system of professional help.

I don't see the need for drama either way. W was there for the walkabout, dinner, then back in the morning and all best man duties during the day.

It isn't neglectful to his brother not to sleep in the same hotel, when his home is a short distance away. And if he had - with the agreement of his wife - slept in the hotel and his family had all the help they needed through grandparents/ nannies that wouldn't be a big deal either.

I don't understand a) why H is (still!) resentful, and b) why anyone else would consider it significant either way

What support? Does he need his backside wiped? Never known anyone to stay overnight with a groom the night before because they are grown ups. Short enough for you.

@DaughterOfPsychiatrist

She didn't have to hand her baby over to anyone (although I suspect by child #3 and having had years to build up trust and rapport with her Nannies she would have felt fine doing so). But she could outsource literally everything else and just focus on the baby.

Imagine having a baby and never needing to do laundry, or take out the bin, or make dinner, or clean the kitchen.

It's a totally different experience and I think if someone had alleviated all those tasks from me I'd have the bandwidth to mind my own baby overnight and still show up in a coat dress and hat in the morning.

Woman have done much more under much harder circumstances.

And perhaps, despite that ecosystem, she just wanted her husband.

And that is enough.

The folk on here insisting that despite everything else William did to support Harry, he had to support him every minute of that day because that is what the needy man child wanted.

Fuck his wife who might have just wanted him home with her and their newborn eh?

And no one would have been any the wiser or thought anything of it until the professional victim bleating started.

OK Kate had nannies to help dress the other kids, cleaners and cooks.
I imagine most people before a big day would be on to Deliveroo for dinner. Who cares if the carpet is hoovered?

But you know what if those two young kids who were still getting used to having a baby 👶 in the house, wanted a bit of comfort during the night, it's not really appropriate for them to crawl into bed with a nanny.

It's a parents job to cuddle and settle them. And don't blinking wake the baby.

And you would happily leave your 3 week old baby with the cook, nanny etc, whilst dealing with a couple of toddlers who may well also only want their mum? Do you think she cares about or has less of a bond with her baby because she's royal? Do you think her baby was aware of its royalness and should have been content with the help?

Do you think if her kids had behaved badly on the day due to tiredness, or not having had enough of their parents' attention in the run up to being on show at a wedding (where at least one of the children had already cried in the days before), and spoiled the ceremony, that she's have been able to blame the nanny?

Do you think a hair-stylist can help a 3 week post partum woman's tiredness, soreness, leakiness, emotional health etc?

Her parents and sister were guests at the wedding, so they were not likely to be able to commit to being much help.

All the staff in the world doesn’t help a bit with lochia, breast feeding, sweats, etc and simply wanting to be with your newborn and husband is entirely reasonable.
Look at how desperate Diana was to be present and ‘normal’ in her sons lives, especially during the baby years.

Rich women are still women and
having staff doesn’t make you into some kind of robot.

if staff could make up for all the awfulness of post partum life, Meghan wouldn’t have had any issues either but clearly living in luxury doesn’t work as a shield against all the physiological repercussions of pregnancy and giving birth.

@DaughterOfPsychiatrist it was one night. Good lord.

And, ultimately, whether William wanted to support Kate, hated Meghan or just wanted to go home and put his feet up, he's not at Harry's beck and call so maybe H should just grow up.

Maybe he just didn’t fancy an all night drinking session. Often happens as you get older and maybe he was tired from having a new baby in the house and was aware they both had a big day the next day. And there was no guarantee they would have had as much fun as they did non the night before William got married. It often doesn’t work if you go back and try and recreate something, especially when you are older and have moved on in life. As has been said, William has dinner with him and was there with him the whole of the next day. I think that’s quite reasonable

Even if William had stayed the night, tucked Harry in and read him a bedtime story Harry would still be moaning about something, “he didn’t leave a chocolate on my pillow” 😫

It was one night before ALL OF THEM would be on public show at a wedding beamed around the world. It's not the night before your poxy wedding or any of our poxy weddings.

Exactly what do you think William was supposed to be doing with Harry outside of everything he already did with him the day and evening before as outlined by Wordler above? So basically post dinner and during the night? Holding his hand while he slept?