William was in the wrong re Harry’s wedding

[MaybelleMary]

Re William didn’t stay over with Harry the night before his wedding and caused a fuss about having to go to the hotel he was in the night before for dinner. As his only brother and as best man he should’ve been there with him. We hear all the time how wonderful and amazing Catherine’s family are - surely on the occasion of his only sibling getting married her parents could’ve come over to help her with her newborn and the children for the night. They have nannies and cleaners and staff so not exactly short of help in general.

my DH has only one brother too. He got married when my baby was 6 weeks old post a difficult c-section. We went to the hotel for 3 nights - so DH could have drinks with his brother and bridal party the night before, the night of the wedding and the night after the wedding. I was fine with this as it was his only siblings wedding. Yes it was difficult for me and exhausting but it was important to us both that we made a big effort for his DBro especially as (like Harry) they were missing a parent at the wedding.

from my view either William or Catherine or both didn’t care enough to put themselves out for Harry and his wedding which reflects poorly on them.

That clearly still doesn't mean his memory is reliable. He's been caught out in so many errors.

But what help did Harry need? William came to the dinner, he just went home instead of staying in the hotel overnight. What was he gong to do while they were all asleep? He was around the previous evening and all the following day, and presumably available at other times if needed. For just that one night, whose need was greater, the bridegroom who had varoius friends around or the new mother and baby?

I'd hope my siblings cared more about their new born nephew than their wedding tbh. A wedding is just a day for two adults. A 3 week old needs its parents and I would never have let my dh out overnight at 3 weeks old.

I feel sad that you would happily let your dc stay overnight with someone else or send your dh off when your dc is 3 weeks old tbh for something like a wedding but each to their own.

It wasn't even the wedding, it wasn't even a meal the night before the wedding, it was sleeping in the same hotel the night before the wedding. What grown man needs that?

I actually think this is typical of the changing attitudes many people have towards putting themselves out in any way for someone else - i.e. they won't.

Its always odd to me when people make comments about people changing over time. What other lives have they had that they know what people were like 100 years ago? Or what they are universally like today? There is centuries old writing and even hieroglyphics complaining in this same manner. I guess the poor, put upon soul, tsking and shaking their head at others exists in every time.

Harry wasn’t starving in the street or in any position to need someone to “put themselves out” desperately. He just wanted to have a night all about him. With someone to whom he has now shown incredibly, globally publicized disloyalty.

Well you are just amazing and the best person ever then! Bully for you!

If I was William I wouldn't want to be spending the night with the spoilt brat of a brother either. Even if he had, he would've done some misdemeanor that Harry would've revealed anyway.

It's got to the point where William clearly thought I am damned if I do and I am damned if I don't!

We have to accept we don’t have the full facts only ‘Harry’s truth’ which he himself has admitted is flawed

My BF (since the age of 4) had a 6 week year old at my wedding - I was so glad she was there, for whatever she was able to do.

Honestly she was a Wonder Woman, but I probably didn’t realise until I became a mum myself. She was my matron of honour. She had just had her third like Kate and William.

wasn’t ‘the right thing for my family’ to go to a hotel hours away from home with a 6 week old while still in pain from a section but I can recognise it wasn’t about me it was about my BIL and my DH being there for him

And you can have whatever feelings you want to have about that, but if you had said that you needed him to be home because you were in too much pain to cope with the baby, that would have been valid too. Newborn baby and wife in physical pain trumps being an emotional support for someone else, if that's what the couple decides.

Harry and William were both single when William got married. When Harry got married William had three children including a newborn and a wife suffering with post natal depression. It wasn't wrong of William to put them first.

When Harry got married William had three children including a newborn and a wife suffering with post natal depression.

Did she? I've never read that

I do agree with your overall point though, I don't think William was in the wrong here.

Eh? She was never reported as having PND. Louis was three weeks old. It's quite understandable that William wanted to spend the night with his own family, especially before a huge wedding in which two of the children were going to play a part.

How is not staying in the same hotel the night before not “supporting “ someone? William had dinner with him. And what sort of “support “ do you need the night before your wedding? It’s supposed to be the happiest day of your life so far. What’s with all the talk of “support” like it’s some sort of major trauma? If it is, why get married?

What support? If he needs 'support' the night before his wedding then he's marrying the wrong person! Does he need his backside wiped before beddy byes time? Need help with eating his meal? Want a bed time story? No? Then what 'support'?

My DH has been best man four times. Three of them before I knew him and he never stayed overnight with the groom as they were local. The other, when we were married, was at a hotel 400 miles from home so it made sense to stay (as did 30 plus other people including the bride and groom). But DH stayed in our room and we didn't see the bride or groom until the following day when DH met him in the lobby.

Of all the weddings I or we have attended I've never known a best man to stay with the groom unless it's in a hotel when the rest of the guests or wedding party are staying. If it's local the best man goes along early to check he's up and about and that's it.

When we got married my sister, who was matron of honour, had a three year old. I didn't expect her to stay at our hotel as she lived local to it. She turned up at 9am to get her hair done. My other bridesmaids stayed as they were 600 miles from home but I had dinner with them, my DH and his best man (who came from the same place as the bridesmaids) and we all went back to our own rooms for a good night's rest.

If a grown woman or man 'needs' support overnight I'd be questioning what the problem was honestly.

With all the nannies in the world - 1 night wouldn't have made a difference. It's quite obvious they didn't like Meghan so I can see why he didn't go.

It was any night for the very young Cambridge children though, was it? They were part of the wedding party, knew the crowds and cameras were there to see them too, likely nervous/excited/emotional. I'm sure if one of them had had a screaming meltdown due to tiredness during the service, Kate and William would have been to blame for not settling them and making sure they had a good sleep the night before. Harold was a big boy, he didn't need the same kid glove treatment as the toddlers (in theory anyway, he's clearly a giant baby) In any event, he had his brother's company during the dinner. He didn't need Willy to lie next to him while he's sleeping too.

Maybe Harry sees William as his 'emotional support brother' in a fairly immature, rather self-involved way? It's an impression that might be gleaned from Spare and the interviews/Netflix doc.

What did Harry want to do that night? Drink? Smoke? Ill-advised to do anything but sleep, given the scale of the televised wedding the next day - all eyes would be on the lot of them, not just H&M but on William too.

I still recall the state of Harry at William and Kate's wedding and he looked like he'd just crawled out of bed with a hangover, to be dressed up by a valet.

And agree with @LondonJax , what sort of man, happy to be marrying the love of his life, needs someone to hold his hand the night before. Indeed, what sort of man wouldn't want to get to bed early so he looks and feels his best the next day, rather than spending half the night before drinking? Especially when the world's cameras are pointed at him.

His todger was sore though? 🤣

It seems obvious that the brothers haven't been close for a while.

William compromised by seeing his brother & staying with his family.

Most adult siblings would accept this-even if there wasn't a new baby in the mix.

Agree! Although it does seem to be for Harry and his supporters here that William 'is in the wrong' for not doing what he's been told to by Harry!

My sister (my MOH) had 3 under 5 at my wedding. It didn’t even occur to me to ask her to stay the night with me. How selfish would that have been?? And she had her wonderful MIL staying with her & still I wouldn’t even consider it!