Do you hug your kids, were you hugged?

[babsanderson]

Just wondering whether you were hugged as a child and whether you hug your own children.
My reason for asking is I keep seeing comments that it is fairly normal not to do so and I am wondering if that is true.

I hug my children a lot. I was hugged less than I hug my own children I think, but always hugged when I was really upset about something.

Recollections may vary.

Never hugged as a child, or told I was loved. Dad died when I was 6 - I vaguely remember we (4 siblings) were called into mum's bedroom - gran was there too - to be told. No hugs as far as I recall. I've always hugged my children and tell them I love them, even now they're adults.

Sorry what

Sort of - I wasn't hugged on a daily basis, but there were hugs if we were upset, and when we were dropped off at boarding school etc. Now I'll hug my parents when we go to see them and when we leave.

Didn't have the easiest relationship with my parents but I did always know I was loved. I think there is more expressed affection than my parents had with their own parents.

I hugged my DD a lot when she was tiny and she's very huggy still in early teens, but I'm not a naturally huggy person at all.

I found the bit about Meghan meeting Kate for the first time interesting as I had an almost identical situation with one of my SILs. I later got told how upset they were because I wasn't instantly huggy or emotionally demonstrative and could I do something about it. I didn't shake hands - think I just smiled and said hello...

I was a bit annoyed - never met this person before, no idea if I would like them and why are they instantly criticising the fact that I didn't throw my arms round them and declare we would be BFFs forever? I prefer to take my time to get to know someone and a very few people I am close enough to that they get genuine hugs.

Always hugged and loved as a child. Dad was a big hugger even when I was an adult. I always give mum a kiss and a hug. I love my parents a great deal. I hug my 17 Yr old a couple of times a day and have done since he was born.

I never really remember being hugged by my parents except when my grandfather died when I was 13. My mum swears she was always hugging me though as a kid! Was surprised to find pics of me on my dad's lap as a kid as well. I just have a bad memory, but this is why you don't claim you never had hugs or bike rides etc. with your parents as a kid because you probably just forgot all this stuff. Not a big hugger as an adult and that suits us fine (although prefer it to kisses on the cheek) my parents wouldn't have objected but I'd feel weird about it-I didn't want that kind of relationship with them.

We weren’t big huggers but my dc are. I say that but dd1 never was but dd2&3 are massive huggers so dd1 got used to it and now at 14 actually does love a hug (and she’s 3 inches taller than me). My parents are not gushy at all so I still remember my dad telling me how proud he was of me in 2005 as we walked to the chip shop from my new first home. My dc say I love you all the time so dm has got used to it and actually says it back now.

I find families who say "I love you" all the time more odd - surely that makes it meaningless?

It’s not meant to be meaningful when it’s my son - it is meant to be a factual, commonplace thing that he never has any cause to doubt. The sun rises, I love him, the sky is blue. It’s not something special that he has to earn, or that is contingent on anything he does, or that might get taken away. It’s just there the whole time, whenever he needs it.

I think this is so interesting. I am a hugger, I will hug anyone. My sister HATES hugging, she doesn't even like to hug me or my parents. When I hug her she's all awkward, you know how some people are just bad at hugging. Anyway, I find it interesting as we have both been raised the same, same parents etc

My side of family big huggers. DH's side note at all. MIL hugs grandchildren a lot until about school age, tapering off from age 3. She loves them a lot but doesn't hug them.

DH not a hugger (I literally had to teach him how, and he just doesn't get it). He held the kids a lot until they basically outgrew being cradled in his arms. He'll put an arm around them watching TV together or put arm around of one sits on his lap, but not give an actual hug, literally drape his arm around them.

He says goodnight to DS with a - wait for it - handshake, sometimes a sort of high five. With DD he puts his hand on her side and kind of jiggles/rubs her for 2 seconds. It actually breaks my heart.

I am Giver of Hugs to the kids. They love hugs and ask for them too and give them independently to me - not to each other. I hug them good nights good morning and any other time they want. But I never force them. And they never, ever have to hug someone else, but they do have to politely greet/say goodbye other people, with eye contact.