Just finished 'Spare'...

[HerReputationMadeItDifficultToProceed]

… and I encourage anyone who’s even vaguely interested in this story to give it a read. Especially if what’s been leaked has made you at all angry, because I think in context everything makes a lot of sense.

I wasn’t a Harry and Meghan hater before reading this, but I wasn’t a fan girl either. Like many Brits, I find a lot of Americans- especially West Coast Americans- quite irritating and Meghan firmly falls into that camp for me. I’m sure she’s nice enough, but she’s very American and very perky and much like Wednesday Addams, I don’t do perky. However, I suspect that her intentions and generally good and that like most of us she’s got good and bad qualities. She’s clearly ambitious and I think that she probably initially dated Harry based on that ambition and on getting a platform, although I think that she genuinely loves him now.

The ghost writer has done a great job at capturing Harry’s personality I think; he comes across as introspective and thoughtful but funny and bright.

I think that Harry has a good soul; I think that he’s kind and has had a hard time of it growing up. I also think he’s a bit clueless and naive and has been in a bubble, but I think he acknowledges that and wants to understand and change. Undoubtedly losing his mother at the age he was had more of an outward impact on him than it had on William. He’s also been a victim of his dad’s wishywashy parenting. It sounds like- and looks like to me from my vantage point as a normal citizen who knows bugger all except what I’ve seen in the media- that Charles has been there for his kids to an extent, but not in a hands on or especially useful way. It also seems clear that Charles has always put Camilla first. From almost the moment Diana died it seems that he wanted, above everything else, to rehabilitate Camilla’s image so that they could marry. I think that he put that above being a father and the way Harry writes about their relationship makes that clear too.

I also think that it’s suited the palace to portray Harry as dimwitted and feckless to show William in a better light and that Harry has every right to be angry about that and not want to play that game anymore (and to call it out now). Especially as it’s obvious that the palace haven’t kept up their side of the bargain and protected Harry from the media in return.

I also think that the media have treated H and M poorly and it’s clearly the case that the palace has used them and news stories about them to divert from other newsworthy problems… certainly Prince Andrew, perhaps William’s affair/s. Is Harry overly jumpy about the media and the paparazzi in particular? Yes, of course. Who wouldn’t be with his background. But they’ve also obviously been hounded and harassed.

I do think that Harry is on a journey that he isn’t at the end of yet, but I think that he realises that too. I think that he was always going to leave the royal family and that Meghan didn’t cause what’s happened, she was just the catalyst for it. I think that he’s been scapegoated and an afterthought within his nuclear family and I don’t blame him for being angry. I think that he means well and is essentially good. And I don’t think that anyone who’s read the whole book would be able to disagree.

More than anything I think it’s clear that the British Royal Family is no longer fit for purpose; the way they live, bring up their children, pay their members for work and demand unrealistic levels of protocol and formality is no longer working in the 21st century. These people need purpose and lives beyond the crown and those on the edges of the heir shouldn’t have to live their lives in service of the their. Realistically H and M could have worked as royals and had private interests, the RF chose not to bend to help them live fulfilling lives because of its own, outdated reasons.

Yes. But they're not all the most famous woman in the world, they're not all allegedly chased down by paparazzi and not everyone walks behind their mothers funeral watched by 2.5 billion people.

You are being disingenuous

Grief and depression are not mutually exclusive.

Also one is a cause and one is a symptom. You can't say 'it's not depression, its grief' or really vice versa.

There are many things which cause depression and anxiety, one of them is grief, one of them is PTSD.

Depression rarely exists in a vacuum.

I don't understand what point you are trying to make here.

Are you saying Harry deserves less sympathy because he was 'just depressed' or we shouldn't believe him because he was depressed.

I'm confused why you keep focusing on this point.

If you've read the book you will know that his grief is still a huge part of who he is. Diana is threaded throughout the book. It's impossible to say he has, or should have, got over it by now.

You’ve gone off on a frolic of your own. I simply said if he was prescribed any depressants it’s more than likely because he was depressed. I don’t think that’s a controversial or unreasonable position. You are the one bending over backwards to say he’s not just depressed, it’s really weird

I completely agree!

I'm just stunned that anyone has the time to read such a thick book in a few days 😮

No chance.

It is not a challenging read, you really fly through it

100%

I'm 70 % through and couldn't agree with you more ! If it only serves to make people question all the bull twang they read in the press daily and not gobble it up as gospel then the book will have served its purpose. I for one think he is super brave and a lovely human being .. uncomplicated and wholesome !

Now you’ve really piqued my interest in the book. That’s quite a decent recap of it. I’ll give it a go, thank you.
I must say tho , I already formed an opinion & signed him off as a silly man already. Rather unkind of me, I know.

@Noangelbuthavingfun wholesome??? The twenty years of drug taking, serious drinking, shagging behind a pub, naked pool, bragging about shooting people…if that’s your idea of wholesome you might need to consult a dictionary!

Yup. Wholesome is really jumping the shark. Of course she might have read a different book.

I agree with this.

@NameChangeGin if you’re going to state that, you should at least have read more than just the first few lines of the OPs post… as your opinion is otherwise meaningless

I am half way through and think your summary is spot on from what I have read so far. Would add, that to put it in context, Harry firmly believes that his family briefs against him as part of their faustian pact with the media and the only difference between them and him is that he is doing it himself rather than through the media. Also, for all those who query why he included so many details, I see this primarily as an attack on the press, and he is taking power away from them by putting everything out there himself so they have no leverage. After all, they all have spent decades making money from telling his story, he is going to tell it himself and take the money instead.

American here, but have always been interested in the RF from afar... ever since watching KC (the PC) investiture way back in '69.

I have Spare on hold at the local public library (no way would I buy it!) and am anxious to read... if for nothing else, for what I expect will be the tragic portrayal of a highly disfunction family from the inside, trying to prove relevancy and justify their existence.

The purpose of the RF in the 21st century confuses me, though... what are they there for? To open shopping malls and visit child care centers?

Serious questionwhy do people still support the RFespecially now that ERII is dead?

Well said OP!

I think that you will find that every generation of the Royal Family has had a ‘Spare Heir’ Charles is quoted as saying earlier this year, “ My brother Andrew’s basic problem is that he wants to be me!” This is Harry’s basic problem too. Dianna realised this would happen to Harry, and told William to look out for him. But he doesn’t want his family .........unless it is on his terms.
He is a very privileged young man, but only because of his family and their money. He has just received a legacy from the Queens will, which cannot be made public. He wants to bring down the monarchy, I think he will succeed eventually. But however will they make money then?Can anybody list their capabilities? Or maybe the success they have had in any field. Apart from talking about the Royal Family , how else can they earn their living?

The purpose of the RF in the 21st century confuses me, though... what are they there for?

If you do just a little research on the constitutional monarchy in the UK, you’ll be enlightened. Here’s something to get you started. If you Google constitutional monarchy UK you’ll find a lot more.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constitutional_monarchy

Sorry but I can't ignore everything g I've read about her - and try as I might I feel she is more than the catalyst and without her he would have had different type of meltdown because meltdown it is . A money driven one at that . She is beyond ambitious and he is a lost soul and both are full of bitterness . They happily feed each others insecurities . Yes I sympathise with him living in that disfunctional family suffering the pain and grief to this day of his mothers death but they both happily throw everyone under the bus in such a vindictive manner . The book is different from the interviews - the motivation is the same .. do they really think they are that Important - all that trumped up indignant self importance .. without them the world keeps turning and they really have no significant impact on anything or any of us other than to disrupt under the guise of speaking the truth and doing such marvellous good in the world . It's all smoke and mirrors and they are both full of the proverbial bull . And breathe !

Absolutely, we’ll put.

I wonder if it might have been easier for Harry if he'd had more siblings, so he wasn't the only spare. Not a good reason to have children, of course, especially in a miserable marriage, but I just wonder if it might have changed how he felt about it.

It's never seemed to bother Anne, even though she comes after her two younger brothers in the line of succession.

Exactly that !

Dan Wootton said they are unhinged … I’m thinking on the same lines. It’s awful …

Completely agree with most of original post. Always felt quite proud/ sentimental about Royal family , and felt was a huge betrayal H leaving - but decided to read the book as actually his own words. I think it’s ludicrous for anyone to criticise without actually reading it as otherwise you are digesting corrupted half ( or non) truths via tabloids with their own agenda. The book is way more loving and sympathetic to Charles and William than any of the supposed extracts have indicated , and it’s utterly impossible for anyone with a heart to read without having massive sympathy not only for H but for the whole family. I think many Brits are angry at the whole fairy tale illusion being tarnished - but Harry and Meghan, and to a lesser extent the others , have all been used worse than we would allow circus performing animals to be treated. No amount of money negates the way two young children had to walk behind their mother’s coffin watched by MILLIONS, and many other cruelties, bullying and threats they have ( all) had to suffer in silence. As he said- it can hardly make things worse!!! I think he had huge courage to go ahead and publish - and to be honest telling many stories that put him in a poor or negative light ( drug taking, PTSD , losing his temper etc). It’s over sharing - but possibly that’s needed to enable the whole pomp and press invasions/ corruption bandwagon to be derailed and things ti change.