Just finished 'Spare'...

[HerReputationMadeItDifficultToProceed]

… and I encourage anyone who’s even vaguely interested in this story to give it a read. Especially if what’s been leaked has made you at all angry, because I think in context everything makes a lot of sense.

I wasn’t a Harry and Meghan hater before reading this, but I wasn’t a fan girl either. Like many Brits, I find a lot of Americans- especially West Coast Americans- quite irritating and Meghan firmly falls into that camp for me. I’m sure she’s nice enough, but she’s very American and very perky and much like Wednesday Addams, I don’t do perky. However, I suspect that her intentions and generally good and that like most of us she’s got good and bad qualities. She’s clearly ambitious and I think that she probably initially dated Harry based on that ambition and on getting a platform, although I think that she genuinely loves him now.

The ghost writer has done a great job at capturing Harry’s personality I think; he comes across as introspective and thoughtful but funny and bright.

I think that Harry has a good soul; I think that he’s kind and has had a hard time of it growing up. I also think he’s a bit clueless and naive and has been in a bubble, but I think he acknowledges that and wants to understand and change. Undoubtedly losing his mother at the age he was had more of an outward impact on him than it had on William. He’s also been a victim of his dad’s wishywashy parenting. It sounds like- and looks like to me from my vantage point as a normal citizen who knows bugger all except what I’ve seen in the media- that Charles has been there for his kids to an extent, but not in a hands on or especially useful way. It also seems clear that Charles has always put Camilla first. From almost the moment Diana died it seems that he wanted, above everything else, to rehabilitate Camilla’s image so that they could marry. I think that he put that above being a father and the way Harry writes about their relationship makes that clear too.

I also think that it’s suited the palace to portray Harry as dimwitted and feckless to show William in a better light and that Harry has every right to be angry about that and not want to play that game anymore (and to call it out now). Especially as it’s obvious that the palace haven’t kept up their side of the bargain and protected Harry from the media in return.

I also think that the media have treated H and M poorly and it’s clearly the case that the palace has used them and news stories about them to divert from other newsworthy problems… certainly Prince Andrew, perhaps William’s affair/s. Is Harry overly jumpy about the media and the paparazzi in particular? Yes, of course. Who wouldn’t be with his background. But they’ve also obviously been hounded and harassed.

I do think that Harry is on a journey that he isn’t at the end of yet, but I think that he realises that too. I think that he was always going to leave the royal family and that Meghan didn’t cause what’s happened, she was just the catalyst for it. I think that he’s been scapegoated and an afterthought within his nuclear family and I don’t blame him for being angry. I think that he means well and is essentially good. And I don’t think that anyone who’s read the whole book would be able to disagree.

More than anything I think it’s clear that the British Royal Family is no longer fit for purpose; the way they live, bring up their children, pay their members for work and demand unrealistic levels of protocol and formality is no longer working in the 21st century. These people need purpose and lives beyond the crown and those on the edges of the heir shouldn’t have to live their lives in service of the their. Realistically H and M could have worked as royals and had private interests, the RF chose not to bend to help them live fulfilling lives because of its own, outdated reasons.

I know someone else said it. I should have made that clear, apologies.

I knew that Blossomtoes. Which is why I said, speculation on my part.

From reading the book, I would think that he could have used some AA, but at the interview, he did drink a bit, which wouldn't fit with AA.

I’d agree. The passages about the summit w liz and the gang where he says there were five options for the future present to him but then only three are discussed. Very very frustrating.

I agree, AA would do him the world of good. I can’t see him doing it though. His sponsor wouldn’t take any prisoners.

I think Harry is mentally ill and I got that idea from reading his book, not the royal family. The interview I saw w Tom Bradby he seemed sullen, short tempered and very angry.

I think downing tequila was mentioned, not just drinking tequila. Two different words that obviously are meant to force different mental images of what Harry was doing.

If he is downing, then he (still) has a problem with alcohol. = Harry is bad.

If he is sipping, not finishing it, it appears he doesn't have an problem with alcohol. = Harry is a normal human who (IMO is being polite to SC about the drink) does what every other guest on his show does.

I am actually fascinated by this experiment of perception we are getting on this thread.

Megxit was broken by Dan Wootton and the Sun gave M&H 10 days to deal with the situation before they published. Who was his source - Jason Knauf his close friend or the palace itself..?

I genuinely thought he’d drunk two large doubles, not realising he hadn’t finished the first one. Reinforced by him actually asking for the second one.

What’s your source for that?

I should point out that my pervious post is my perception of the words used and not meant to be confrontational.

I see it as a good example of getting information from the press. Those who choose what words to use set the tone.

Press (or whoever) says - Harry was downing tequila. People will see that as Harry has a problem still.

Press says - Harry sipped a drink with SC. People think, wow that seems nice of him. How fun.

This is how the media manipulates people and is the reason why I started questioning everything I read in the media. We saw it highlighted here in the US in 2016 too, which may be why it stands out to me.

Why would you ask for another when you hadn’t finished the first? Unless you wanted to give the impression that you were cool and hard drinking?

He described Tom Bradby as a long standing friend. Who is a more receptive audience than that? If you want to go round criticising others it is a behind entitled not to expect some back.

I didn’t see it as even slightly confrontational. It is interesting and I really appreciate your conducting that experiment.

You are assuming they were broadcast in the order they were filmed.

Yes of course. Bradby's was shown first because of time differences.

Who knows, maybe you do?

I know Bradby went over there to interview him, that's all I know.

It is eye opening when it is pointed out right? We all do it. It is human to do so. Like I said, I started noticing this a lot with the 2016 election. I could not understand why anyone would support Trump. How could people buy into Q-anon theories. They were so unbelievable!

It is because we use unconsious bias (and not in the way Harry says it).

You are not a supporter of Harry and saw him downing drinks.
Rousette is a supporter of Harry and saw something different.

Now apply this back to all of the articles that have been written about the couple (and Catherine, and Camilla, and Margret even).

If you go back to the beginning and watch and read again, do you think you might think differently knowing that the media is using words to manipulate your emotions?

I am headed out with my DD. Thanks for a great conversation on this topic!

@Shelefttheweb , during the Netflix series, Megan's niece talks of how she and M grew close, but that she wasn't invited to the wedding. Allegedly because the palace advisors thought it would be odd to invite the niece but not the sister (Samantha). Do you totally believe the palace said not to invite her? And not think it more odd looking that M had no family at her wedding other than her mother? Do you not think it's even a possibility that people are picked up and discarded according to how much use they may be? Megan reached out to her niece in time for her to make a positive contribution to the documentary. How fortuitous. H seemed to get along okay with his family before he met his wife. Do you not think that maybe H&M reinforce each others's sense of being hard done by? It's a shame because I really do think he has some legitimate concerns, but in complaining so much about trivia, the important points are lost in all the noise.

It's not 'hate' to notice these things. Or to question H & M take on events. Particularly when some of it is disputed by people mentioned in the series.

In moaning about the British press (and lots of those complaints are legitimate imo), H does skirt over the fact that his mother was being pursued by French paparazzi when she died. Yes, the British press has expectations of access and their behaviour has historically been appalling (phone hacking), but he's given up more of his privacy with this Netflix and book deal, than he would have in his previous role. I don't see how what he's done is an improvement.

I think royal life wasn't what M expected it to be and the pair of them have seen a chance to make a lot of money and be celebrities without constraints.

Dan Wootton. 😂

TB interview wasn’t broadcast live, neither was Anderson cooper or the other one shown on good morning America. You have no basis to say he was nervous because TB interviewed him first because you have no idea if that happened

Must be true then 🙄

I'm half way through the audio book and enjoying it ( guiltily - republicans I read are overwhelmingly uninterested as Harry is still a monarchist - I'm not so sure about that ...)

Harry sounds very clear headed to me .
The royals are still using the playbook they used on Diana . Calling him 'mentally ill ' just as they smeared Diana.

Using mental illness as a slur - and they have the audacity to attempt to lead a ( flopped) mental health charity . All the rictus grins in the world won't live that down

Don't fall off your chair @Roussette I actually agree with you here. The tequila could even have been water. It's reminiscent of Alison Hammond's funny interview with Harrison Ford where they were drinking whisky.

I mean everybody knows he’s the one who broke the story - he was executive editor of the Sun at the time. It’s not any kind of secret.

Not that I would disagree that he’s a lying arsehole in general - but not about that.

Have the royal family called him mentally ill? He is the one that said he needed therapy and got it?