Just finished 'Spare'...

[HerReputationMadeItDifficultToProceed]

… and I encourage anyone who’s even vaguely interested in this story to give it a read. Especially if what’s been leaked has made you at all angry, because I think in context everything makes a lot of sense.

I wasn’t a Harry and Meghan hater before reading this, but I wasn’t a fan girl either. Like many Brits, I find a lot of Americans- especially West Coast Americans- quite irritating and Meghan firmly falls into that camp for me. I’m sure she’s nice enough, but she’s very American and very perky and much like Wednesday Addams, I don’t do perky. However, I suspect that her intentions and generally good and that like most of us she’s got good and bad qualities. She’s clearly ambitious and I think that she probably initially dated Harry based on that ambition and on getting a platform, although I think that she genuinely loves him now.

The ghost writer has done a great job at capturing Harry’s personality I think; he comes across as introspective and thoughtful but funny and bright.

I think that Harry has a good soul; I think that he’s kind and has had a hard time of it growing up. I also think he’s a bit clueless and naive and has been in a bubble, but I think he acknowledges that and wants to understand and change. Undoubtedly losing his mother at the age he was had more of an outward impact on him than it had on William. He’s also been a victim of his dad’s wishywashy parenting. It sounds like- and looks like to me from my vantage point as a normal citizen who knows bugger all except what I’ve seen in the media- that Charles has been there for his kids to an extent, but not in a hands on or especially useful way. It also seems clear that Charles has always put Camilla first. From almost the moment Diana died it seems that he wanted, above everything else, to rehabilitate Camilla’s image so that they could marry. I think that he put that above being a father and the way Harry writes about their relationship makes that clear too.

I also think that it’s suited the palace to portray Harry as dimwitted and feckless to show William in a better light and that Harry has every right to be angry about that and not want to play that game anymore (and to call it out now). Especially as it’s obvious that the palace haven’t kept up their side of the bargain and protected Harry from the media in return.

I also think that the media have treated H and M poorly and it’s clearly the case that the palace has used them and news stories about them to divert from other newsworthy problems… certainly Prince Andrew, perhaps William’s affair/s. Is Harry overly jumpy about the media and the paparazzi in particular? Yes, of course. Who wouldn’t be with his background. But they’ve also obviously been hounded and harassed.

I do think that Harry is on a journey that he isn’t at the end of yet, but I think that he realises that too. I think that he was always going to leave the royal family and that Meghan didn’t cause what’s happened, she was just the catalyst for it. I think that he’s been scapegoated and an afterthought within his nuclear family and I don’t blame him for being angry. I think that he means well and is essentially good. And I don’t think that anyone who’s read the whole book would be able to disagree.

More than anything I think it’s clear that the British Royal Family is no longer fit for purpose; the way they live, bring up their children, pay their members for work and demand unrealistic levels of protocol and formality is no longer working in the 21st century. These people need purpose and lives beyond the crown and those on the edges of the heir shouldn’t have to live their lives in service of the their. Realistically H and M could have worked as royals and had private interests, the RF chose not to bend to help them live fulfilling lives because of its own, outdated reasons.

I thought he was the opposite. You watched different ones to the ones shown?

Op I am going to start this later. I have it as an audiobook. Your summary has made me want to read it.

Oh, you mean the meeting with William that was inadvertently leaked by Camilla’s PA which ended up with her resignation. That evidence.

@crabo
If that was directed at me- I did reply

There are lots of threads on this topic re the need for reform of our governance .
I suggest you read some

I've also read his book. I agree I think everyone should read it. The only part I don't agree with is Harry saying Meghan knew nothing about him b4 or after their first date. I find it very hard to believe that she never googled him 😕 impossible to believe. He is besotted with her and I do hope she is with him. I can understand why he wrote the book. His childhood was horrendous very sad.

IAmWomanHearMeRoar1 · Today 13:23
@BadgerB The disputes were instigated by her father, get your facts right. You are outright blatant lying at this point.
She is in contact with her mother's family. Another thing you've got wrong.
Also, there are many people in the Stately Homes threads and on AIBU who are NC with both sides of a family. The entire family. It's quite common. You are victim-blaming, making up lies, and have no clue what you are talking about.

I had NO idea who knew them all personally and SO intimately! I thought, like me, you were going on what you had read in various places from various sources.
Give my love & best wishes to Thomas, and commiserations on his undutiful daughter

I watched the ITV interview in full, and parts of the US TV interviews in which he seemed more at ease, probably because he knew he was addressing a friendlier audience. I also saw parts of the Colbert show where he was funny and relaxed. I doubt he went full on Tom Cruise on Oprah's sofa in the bits that I missed. He was keen to get his point across and was not ready to open up to criticism, that much is true. But that doesn't make him insane. He may be deluded, lying, petty, ungrateful, tone deaf or whatever else different people may get from his words, but he's not mad or deranged like the palace is saying. I bought into it too before I saw him.

So did I.

Why don't you read//watch it for yourself instead of having it spoon fed to you?! .

I wish I had time but unfortunately I don't at the moment - I like dipping in to these threads to find out what others think though.

It's not that people can't provide examples -

I didn't say that but now that you mention it people do seem reluctant.

it's just pretty pointless if you haven't read yourselves

Surely it would be pointless to share details of the book to people who have read it - I was asking a PP who said there were loads of examples of leaked private conversations to share some of them (not the Camilla meeting William one though as I know about that one already and that it was a member of her staff wot did it.)

'She is in contact with her mother's family'

I wonder why none of them were at the wedding?

He clearly had coaching and more coaching and even more coaching on what to say and how to deflate questions back to the answers he had prepared. Any question off script got an angry response.

kirinm · Today 13:33
Do you admit to believing everything you read in the press but nothing Harry says?

I don't believe everything I read in the Press, but believe even less of what I read in the book. The Book is Harry's creature - a good ghost writer has to make his paymaster look reasonable, rational, and even likeable, however he is in real life. Harry chose a good ghost writer

He looked completely wired to me. So tetchy with Bradby at even the slightest challenge. The Colville interview was just awful, cringeworthy with the faux mateiness with the audience. I’d love to see him subjected to a proper interview with a serious journalist, Maitlis would make mincemeat of him.

Exactly how I feel about it all. As usual the media putting their spin on everything and taking out of context and the majority of the people will believe what they read in the newspapers

I enjoyed the Stephen Colbert interview, he was engaging, amusing, and the audience loved him. He even made me laugh at one point. He was a natural. That must really rankle if you don't like him.

Anderson Cooper interview was different again, a bit more serious. The Bradby one was hist first one so I imagine he was more nervous and on edge.

Tend to agree with this. My own impression (from what Harry has said himself) is that the Queen and maybe also his father? wanted to try to give Harry what he wants to be happy because they feel guilty about the whole Diana disaster that wrecked his childhood. It was the advisers at the palace, the MET and his brother who said 'no'. That's why this massive tantrum has been directed at them.

I keep hearing about the 'context' - what context justifies kicking your family in the teeth?

What about the bit in the Bryony Gordon interview where he was involving the Wales’ children? Saying that they were going to end up spares like him?

It didn’t rankle @Roussette, it was so false it was jarring. We’ve seen him in interviews in the past where he’s come across really well - the engagement one, various Invictus interviews - this is like a different person. He came across as if he was off his face with Colbert.

Does anyone have an explanation / defence for the whole "we never said they were racist but we didn't set the record straight when the media ran with it or when the queen issued her statement, and we happily accepted an award for challenging racism in the royal family even though we never said they were racist"?

Ultimately, though, the Queen had the final say. I have read (sorry can’t remember where as there has been so much written about all this recently) that with the incident involving “the printer not working” with the alternatives surrounding mexit, it was the Queen’s suggestion. She was known to avoid conflict and this may well have provided a way round having to say no directly to Harry. Like it or not, she was the boss and the decisions were hers. Harry doesn’t seem to want to believe that Granny put the firm before his feelings.

Yes, faux mateiness with a faux audience apparently.
I's be interested to see him interviewed by Piers Morgan 😆

Harry doesn’t seem to want to believe that Granny put the firm before his feelings.

In which case, he hasn’t been paying attention. She always put the monarchy before everything. Her entire 70 year reign was predicated on it.

Wasn’t he downing tequilas throughout?

That cuts both ways doesn’t it. There’s no context that justifies the way the RF/palace treats its own members - Diana and Harry are the result. RF kick them they kick back - and the result is internecine fighting. T

Until the palace learn not to brief against its own members for short term ego kibbles and actively deal with genuinely corrupt members such as Andrew - this circus will continue. It’s no way to run a family that is supposed to be representing the country.

My objection to monarchy it will always produce people unsuited for the role and mixing business and family rarely works.