Just finished 'Spare'...

[HerReputationMadeItDifficultToProceed]

… and I encourage anyone who’s even vaguely interested in this story to give it a read. Especially if what’s been leaked has made you at all angry, because I think in context everything makes a lot of sense.

I wasn’t a Harry and Meghan hater before reading this, but I wasn’t a fan girl either. Like many Brits, I find a lot of Americans- especially West Coast Americans- quite irritating and Meghan firmly falls into that camp for me. I’m sure she’s nice enough, but she’s very American and very perky and much like Wednesday Addams, I don’t do perky. However, I suspect that her intentions and generally good and that like most of us she’s got good and bad qualities. She’s clearly ambitious and I think that she probably initially dated Harry based on that ambition and on getting a platform, although I think that she genuinely loves him now.

The ghost writer has done a great job at capturing Harry’s personality I think; he comes across as introspective and thoughtful but funny and bright.

I think that Harry has a good soul; I think that he’s kind and has had a hard time of it growing up. I also think he’s a bit clueless and naive and has been in a bubble, but I think he acknowledges that and wants to understand and change. Undoubtedly losing his mother at the age he was had more of an outward impact on him than it had on William. He’s also been a victim of his dad’s wishywashy parenting. It sounds like- and looks like to me from my vantage point as a normal citizen who knows bugger all except what I’ve seen in the media- that Charles has been there for his kids to an extent, but not in a hands on or especially useful way. It also seems clear that Charles has always put Camilla first. From almost the moment Diana died it seems that he wanted, above everything else, to rehabilitate Camilla’s image so that they could marry. I think that he put that above being a father and the way Harry writes about their relationship makes that clear too.

I also think that it’s suited the palace to portray Harry as dimwitted and feckless to show William in a better light and that Harry has every right to be angry about that and not want to play that game anymore (and to call it out now). Especially as it’s obvious that the palace haven’t kept up their side of the bargain and protected Harry from the media in return.

I also think that the media have treated H and M poorly and it’s clearly the case that the palace has used them and news stories about them to divert from other newsworthy problems… certainly Prince Andrew, perhaps William’s affair/s. Is Harry overly jumpy about the media and the paparazzi in particular? Yes, of course. Who wouldn’t be with his background. But they’ve also obviously been hounded and harassed.

I do think that Harry is on a journey that he isn’t at the end of yet, but I think that he realises that too. I think that he was always going to leave the royal family and that Meghan didn’t cause what’s happened, she was just the catalyst for it. I think that he’s been scapegoated and an afterthought within his nuclear family and I don’t blame him for being angry. I think that he means well and is essentially good. And I don’t think that anyone who’s read the whole book would be able to disagree.

More than anything I think it’s clear that the British Royal Family is no longer fit for purpose; the way they live, bring up their children, pay their members for work and demand unrealistic levels of protocol and formality is no longer working in the 21st century. These people need purpose and lives beyond the crown and those on the edges of the heir shouldn’t have to live their lives in service of the their. Realistically H and M could have worked as royals and had private interests, the RF chose not to bend to help them live fulfilling lives because of its own, outdated reasons.

Great summery. And if any of the people decrying Harry had actually watched the interviews and listened to what he said, he actually says himself 'the media have stripped the context away' and that by doing so have made his 'claims' inaccurate.

I plan to read it. Couldn't agree more with the poster who talked about the scapegoats being the ones to call out dysfunction. I can relate to that on a personal level.

I read it and I think the RF are dysfunctional and nasty but Harry comes across as vengeful and pathetic

@RegainingTheWill2023 excellent post.

The hypocrisy gets to me too... no doubt the media were manipulated to cover up plenty of H's wrong doing - eg we never heard at the time about the large scale drug abuse including snorting cocaine. Seems media manipulation is ok when it works in his favour...

I also think H is doing to his own kids a lot of what he's complained of about his own upbringing. Not respecting their right to not have their parents airing their dirty laundry in public. Not respecting their security by broadcasting how many Taliban fighters he killed.

the total family is a business. Brings millions in to that country every year. @he

William is a bit of a bot though - he seems to have deleted his emotions some time ago as they were getting in the way. I still giggle at that clip of Kate asking someone - How are you emotionally? I mean who says that. Both of them looking completely stiff. I wondered whether her and William were curious about what it was like for people who had emotions.

Is he really though? Or does he just keeps his emotions behind closed doors?

I will wait till I can find a copy in the charity shop.

Yes to that!

This. She’s often held up as a great parent and Charles a terrible one.
However she was off with her BF getting herself in the newspapers, I can’t image that was good for either of the boys. Not seeing them for weeks/months then smothering them with love. It’s dysfunctional in a different way.

To me Harry has a victim mentality and we have to deal with a family member who is the same. Someone mentioned he wanted William available to him all the time and that’s what my older BIL is like. He wanted DH to be there all the time. No interest in me or DC. But for DH to be very involved with his family. Everything centred around him. They now don’t speak and this has been the cause. When there parents died both times he made out like it only effected him and everything had to be how it was for him. Honestly I can’t see how that will lead to a healthy relationship with his own children.

Absolutely right. Have some grace. Just cut your cloth, stop acting like you are Jesus Christ reincarnated. Get a proper job, stop whining. Write a book telling your story without the poor me narrative, cut out the spite and jealousy and literally get a life. Be role models for your kids. Treat others with respect and behave with some dignity.

You are being disingenuous. If she wasn't being chased, in the first place, the accident wouldn't have happened.

I feel either Meghan is insanely jealous of Kate or Harry is in love with her, I can't see anything else.

Your ignorance is showing. You can't even be bothered to read a post let alone a book workout giving our a totally uninformed view.

I do think that no favours are done by portraying Diana as a saint. She did more good than harm and she was clearly loved. Charles placed her in a shit and vulnerable position. But she too was the “villain” in other peoples marriages. She had journalists on speed dial. There was a love/hate relationship with the media. VIP Drivers deal with paparazzi all the time but generally they are not intoxicated.

Well yes they could respond, but what would be the point of entering into a slanging match? Harry isn’t going to change his mind or do anything other than continue to not take responsibility for any part he may have had in the situations he outlines and / or deny it was his fault. He isn’t attacking the monarchy or righting problems with the press as he claims. He is trying to settle perceived slights from his family. Best to not engage with that behaviour as it’s not something you can productively engage with.

@Nowdontmakeamess What the actual f? So a woman must be at home 24/7, and never allowed to date? Do you know how ignorant and misogynistic you sound? Her 'billionaire boyfriend' emphasis makes you sound very jealous and petty.

The boys were at boarding school during term time and were at Balmoral when she died. Was she supposed to just sit in KP alone, waiting for the times she did see them then?

Both perhaps

William is a bit of a bot though - he seems to have deleted his emotions some time ago as they were getting in the way. I still giggle at that clip of Kate asking someone - How are you emotionally? I mean who says that. Both of them looking completely stiff. I wondered whether her and William were curious about what it was like for people who had emotions.

Maybe William is devoid of emotion, I don't know. But I do know its impossible to be certain based on how he presents himself when on royal duty. It would be like someone judging me on how I deal with my emotions on the basis of how appeared in the classroom. Most people I know have a professional presentation when at work which is different from how they are in their personal lives.

I'm fascinated how a reserved presentation is viewed so negatively. They are meeting strangers. Over familiarity would much odder in my mind. Just goes to show how individual we all are.

@Triflenot You are not only not original, you are boring. Kate.

Sorry but that's very unfair.
Diana was co-parenting the boys. She had them for the part of the school holidays, they were now having time with their Dad and cousins at Grannys holiday house.

You think she should be at home knitting while her kids were with their Dad?
She might have done many stupid things that night, including being daft getting in a car with a drunk driver, and not wearing a seat belt. And possibly even alerting the press to her whereabouts.

But she was 100% entitled to go out with her boyfriend.

Iamawoman - of course women should have some child free time if they want but would you send your eleven year old to boarding school and then spend the summer holidays in another country without them?

Diana courted the media when she wanted and turned down royal protection. She decided to get in the car and she decided not to wear a seat belt. The driver decided to speed - just because there are press around and even taking pictures through window doesn’t mean that they were forced to speed, that was a choice too.

Diana had just spent time with the boys. They had had a holiday with her and were with their father.

True and the press was turning against her towards the end she was coming across as a party princess excess everywhere they stopped focusing on her charity and started in on her relationships she was allegedly cheating on dodi allegedly pregnant allegedly engaged it was no longer Saint Diana the people's princess it wasn't very nice

She didn’t need to stay home. But she didn’t need to be photographed in her swimsuit kissing her BF. They had enough money to have their courtship in private. That’s not what she wanted.
Imagine those pictures if it was your mum and you were at school.