Is Meghan's love 'true', I certainly hope so, but after reading this thread, 'Spare', plus etc, I find I am becoming more cynical. Clearly, Harry is smitten! Is it a genuine love story?
The facts are Meghan was previously married to a movie producer and allegedly sent back the rings, very coldly & cut him dead, BUT we don't know the circumstances. Clearly, he will have been advantageous to her career, not the only reason she was with him I am sure. IF true, as per what's cited on this thread, I am rather chilled she immediately deleted her wedding video post marriage to Trevor. It possibly smacks of an overarching master plan IF so (some DO do this as crazy as sounds). I find it hard to believe, and poss more realistically, it's the joint thing & it potentially coming back to haunt her later on in life? Which (drugs) do seem a bit high risk and irresponsible.
Then she dated Corey Vitiello and although not allegedly 'seeing' him still was still sharing a home with him when she met Harry. Indeed, according to 'Revenge' I think, when Harry came to Canada for the first time, she didn't bring him back to her place for that reason. Not necessarily sinister. Could Vitiello help her re: Tig and a possible influencer role post Suits? Meghan is very career minded. Things fizzled out and she didn't sound terribly, ultimately keen.
On coming to London, she apparently wanted to date Ashley Cole and tried a few times to no avail. Also wanted to star in 'Made in Chelsea', apparently - with what goal? She'd also been interested in, and had dinner with Rory McIlroy in the recent past pre Harry. So, IF true again, and there is no definitive proof I believe (?) we can conclude she wanted to date someone with money and status. She was/is beautiful, accomplished, charismatic and intelligent, so why not (?) you could argue...
Then she meets Harry and falls fast, they both do. She apparently has said she adopts 'The Rules' when dating, cutting the first date short etc, and if so they help, he is quickly infatuated and in 'love'...
He takes her off to Africa and their relationship is cemented, the fourth woman he's taken there, a very special place for him. Nice. There's fab chemistry and they bond under the stars. Apparently the tent shown on the doc wasn't the reality which was far more luxurious, but who knows? She travels light to show she's no princessy , up herself, A lister. Fast forward and they're engaged, @Ohgodthepain they/M has said that their engagement interview was forced and contrived now? I don't understand why? @ArseInTheDogBowl Harry is a prince, that adds to his charm and appeal.
I can see H is relatively good looking, no doubt all own teeth! :) Tall, athletic, charismatic, humorous, and we learn he can see through those women with 'throne syndrome', clearly M not one of them, says he, as she def hadn't googled, he has proof, as Meghan was genuinely convinced Prince Andrew was the Queen's servant. I simply don't believe Meghan didn't EXTENSIVELY research Harry and Royals. Anyone that gets fixation over one off bespoke, guest blankets being the right shade of red, isn't a 'by the seat of her pants' woman. I think the mistake was she and H thought they could change things and modernise things and eclipse/'teach'/'refresh' the others in rather didactic manner. Harry seemed to back peddle and panic a bit when this, possible, Plan A, was put into place. 'You're doing too well my love'! Harry felt she was going to be smeared as others would be jealous, as her superior skills meant she'd eclipse other Royals. Sure enough, an article appears that says 'Duchess Difficult' and her behaviour had meant an assistant was fired. Apparently the assistant was trying to trade on her position with Meghan to get freebies. HR took the appropriate action and she was dismissed. An issue might have been lines were blurred:
‘I never heard her speak a bad word about anybody or to anybody’ On the contrary, I watched her redouble her efforts to reach out, to spread kindness., she send out hand-written thank you notes, checked on staff who were ill, sent baskets of food or flowers or goodies to aynone struggling. The office was often dark and cold, so she warmed it up with new lamps and space heaters all bought with her personal credit card’ (where is procurement)?
She bought pizza and biscuit, hosted tea parties and ice-cream socials, she shared all the freebies she received clothes and perfumes and make-up, with all the women in the office’
I stood back in awe at her ability, or determination, to always see the good in people. [In sales jobs etc, sometimes when the management give you free stuff and perks they expect blood in return, it's transactional on their terms, you have no choice in matter].
So, Meghan is a paragon of virtue in Harry's eyes. ‘I never heard her speak a bad word about anybody or to anybody’ he reiterates.
Harry appears to go searching for negative stories, on Twitter and social media which surely no one can really effectively police? Some press was shocking and racist, yes, BUT the fact a journalist says that Meghan shouldn't eat avocado toast and praised Kate's glowing skin due to an appetite for avocados? Who would lose sleep over such trivia? Harry does.
Meghan is clearly hugely industrious and determined but poss adopted a bit of a Caesar management style and this perceived imperiousness was troubling for some.
Of course NO ONE is perfect and I find this extreme idealisation a bit concerning. Of course she may be close to perfect, but isn't it more likely she has feet of clay like most mortals and character weaknesses as well as strengths?
Then Harry goes all 'Jay Gatsby' as you say, @Tamarindtree it's an ostentatious mansion, all this for a chap who tells us he wanted to work in a restaurant in a ski resort or work in Africa which he's so genuinely passionate about? Sound familiar?:
'The [house] was a colossal affair by any standard–it was a factual imitation of some Hôtel de Ville in Normandy, with a tower on one side, spanking new under a thin beard of raw ivy, and a marble swimming pool and more than forty acres of lawn and garden. It was Gatsby's mansion.'
'[Gatsby] hadn’t once ceased looking at Meghan Daisy, and I think he revalued everything in his house according to the measure of response it drew from her well-loved eyes. Sometimes, too, he stared around at his possessions in a dazed way.' [realising that all were a bit rubbish and needed to be upgraded fast to impress Meghan and keep her happy, maybe?].
'There must have been moments even that afternoon when Daisy tumbled short of his dreams—not through her own fault, but because of the colossal vitality of his illusion. It had gone beyond her, beyond everything. He had thrown himself into it with a creative passion'
Wow, Megan said several times, wallpaper, crown mouldings, walnut bookcases, priceless art' as she looks around W and K's apartment, no bean-bags, Ikea and low ceilings for them!: 'WE thought sheepishly of our Ikea’. Hard-done-by Harry! He'd never quite realised before.
Harry is possibly more complimentary about Chelsy than anyone else bar Meghan. They have a genuine, shared passion in Africa and she's without 'intellectual curiosity' he tells us. She's unashamedly herself, in her minis etc. She sounds great fun and like they looked to have made each other happy.
When I read that Tyler Perry had given H and M a luxurious grand piano to take pride of place in the mansion again I thought of Gatsby. (Do either play or is it a vehicle for lovely photos)? Material possessions and possibly ultimately a shallow life. They don't lead to lasting happiness. None of it matters, it's just 'stuff'. Harry was seemingly happy when Cressida visited Nott Cott with his shabby but much loved beanbag. Suddenly, it was never good enough after all. @RedToothBrush yes, purpose is the key to happiness. Getting stuck in to something beyond yourself, bigger than you. Getting into 'flow'. Diana did this genuinely.
Back to Gatsby again, and Daisy is only moved by high status and expensive things. You can see her crying over strategically placed Hermes blankets if around today. Thing is Gatsby would then quickly be looking to upgrade the mansion, and then what? And what happened if those great parties, no A listers came anymore (?) and Gatsby became a laughing stock? What then?
@friendlycat airing everything in public isn't a good idea, you're right. I feel Meghan was involved in the book. Harry talks about housing 'units' re: Nott Cott and Bower tells us openly that they both sat down with the Ghostwriter I believe. Makes sense for parts of it. There's poss a lot more evidence to this end. Did she not advise against some of it? She's smart. intelligent, surely she knew how some of it would land badly? Who knows, maybe she didn't. Did Harry listen if so? (The bereaved father that returns to be hugged by Meghan, after she gave permission in an hand written letter, did remind me of the man on the plane thanking her for her service, 'dancing in the streets', etc).
Why didn't Harry trust or believe William when he said, using their 'secret code', that he wanted only happiness for Harry. Of course, I feel he genuinely did, he's his brother! Harry said mentally he'd tuned them out and he'd already effectively left for 'California'.
Believe it or not some women are calculating and have a master plan re: catching a (very) rich man. Sometimes this is transactional and agreed up front, other times the man is unaware. As an example, could Meghan have studied Kevin's relationship with Diana (Kevin was the butler who had snacks with her and she visited him 'below stairs' the only one in the palace to do so). Coincidentally, Meghan also visits Kevin and hits it off with him. Really close, says Harry. Single White Female vibes? Did she study 'Diana' as an actress would re: the movie of her life? Harry can't believe they become mates as per the relationship with his mother!
Did Meghan really want to live in the disjointed, comparatively humble, Frogmore on the Heathrow flightpath? Would the Clooneys comfortably visit etc and be impressed? Had she always had her sights set on the sunnier climes of California? I wouldn't blame her in that regard. Harry's thrilled with Frogmore, which the Queen generously suggested, was she? Someone said at the start of their relationship their was gossip, later dismissed, they'd been house hunting in California.
@Coffeetableposhbooks you're right on the therapy, I am not sure it's the best type for Harry, but I'm no expert. Interestingly, Harry says the therapist frequently goes over allocated time. Most professionals I know wouldn't do that, re: boundaries etc (?) Why am I now getting an image in my head of a friend in a wig, in disguise :), a la Mr Rochester in Jane Eyre as the fortune teller, saying 'they are out to get you, don't trust them' etc. :) Stay in Califorina, Who is his therapist, I wonder? Who recommended.
Why can't Harry see how blessed he is, there are HUGE positives in being the 'Spare' too!
@bakalava will he realise he's lost? Will he really likely lose Invictus, as someone said, I hope not.
So, ok, the other side, what if Meghan is genuine and honest and it's just a culture clash and her perceived theatricality which is rubbing some people up the wrong way? What if she has high standards and people were over sensitive? What if she really is unbelievably generous and kind? It's possible, is she really the paragon Harry imagines her to be? Why can't he see, if so, that William is exasperated that he won't admit her ever being in any way in the wrong? Why won't he listen calmly, objectively and counter with evidence. Why does he imagine William doesn't want him to be happy?
Their home looks to be perfect, their children look gorgeous and happy, Harry seems a great, fun, involved father. The children are so fortunate to have parents at home that can take them to the ocean and spend so much time with them. 'Manners maketh man' and Meghan is trying to teach Archie that he's privileged (I am not sure about the delivering of practical packs to the homeless by him but he's very young to help in a soup kitchen or similar).
Why are they apparently looking to upgrade the home?
I genuinely hope it is a true love story and they can help one another. In Meghan's defence again, Harry seems worried about 'class' and class markers in particular, 'Spare' again:
Yuck - Meg’s bra strap was showing (Classless Meghan)
The next day. Yikes - she’s wearing that dress? (Trashy Meghan)
The next day, goodness, she still doesn’t know how to curtsey properly (American Meghan)
Whilst, 'not nice', clearly, these seem to particularly grate (?) for H.
Meghan got the embassy job via a family contact, her uncle, he was fond of her and happy to help her secure an internship. Thing was, he was living in a trailer park at time of the wedding, and not upper middle class or rich. Harry seems sneery and snobbish in some contexts, it takes someone strong minded to say 'to hell with it they're coming' if they felt their partner and family might be disparaging, she might be worried they'd be uncomfortable or not at the east, in the setting too, maybe?
I think of all the 'doors to manual' jibes re: Kate, that crowd would have a field day with ordinary folk. Unfortunately.
Perhaps there's genuinely no calculation on her part and she wants to forge a great life and grow with him, they can nurture each other etc. Maybe she learnt and matured and realised that Harry had great, endearing qualities and she loves him wholeheartedly and is excited for their future philanthropic projects? They needed money for security so why not make it? What's wrong with monetising things, the Royals need to get with the times etc?
Something bothers me. Why were Kate and William not more welcoming? We can guess, was it because she was an actress and he was rushing things? Something more? I have a bias in that I think both are sensible, and fundamentally kind and decent (but not perfect, who is)? But who knows !
Why did the Queen say she feared Harry 'loved Meghan too much'? I bet that wasn't well received by either. Imagine the Queen reading 'Spare' and the Duke of Edinburgh!
NB: this from The Cut: 'And then, quickly and decisively, as if it were my idea, the conversation ends. Meghan sets a harvest basket in my arms: a cornucopia of fruit and vegetables from their garden and a jar of jam from the Lili Bunny Garden + Larder (she had the labels made on Etsy). She smiles and waves as I make my way out the door, wondering if somehow I’d missed everything she was trying to say.' [what might she have been trying to say?].
This could be seen as a bit Lady Bountifulesque, but perhaps Meghan just being generous and polite. She's so fastidious and ambitious I do feel she did more research than you can possibly imagine into Harry and the relationship. Not necessarily sinister, just prudent.
We were all so hopeful at the wedding and they seemed so very much in love.
As ever time and their actions from this point onwards will tell.