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The royal family
Original poster

If Harry was your son and was doing this, what would you do?

159 replies

Abigail69 · 07/01/2023 15:52

Lets assume that your child lets call them Mr Harry was behaving like the Harry, ie Charles son. What would you do to stop this rubbish?

Persoanlly, if Mr Harry was one of my kids and was doing this, ie airing private stuff on the media etc, I slap their bottom and never speak to them unless Mr Harry and his OH sincerely apologised and showed regret and guaranteed it would never happen again.

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ShirleyHolmes · 08/01/2023 17:57

Consider his childhood:
press intrusion from birth and within the Royal institution goldfish bowl.
Two unhappy parents in a miserable and toxic marriage.
Mother with significant MH issues.
Much care provided by nannies.
Full boarder from age 7
Parents bitter separation with both parents talking openly to the press about infidelity.
Father in relationship with mistress that caused unhappiness to mother.
Mother having various other relationships.
Mother being pursued by paparazzi and killed in a car crash age 12.
Having to greet public and walk behind mother’s coffin on TV.
Probably well meaning but emotionally and physically absent father.

Well, I would probably be fucked up too!

In this situation, I would fly over and try and talk with him, try to listen, suggest family therapy, ensure they understood that I loved them unconditionally, have therapy myself to consider my part in this and ensure the door remained open.

Itsnottime · 08/01/2023 18:24

I think Charles is trying his level best to be fair. Remember he’s in his gilded cage too.

Itsnottime · 08/01/2023 18:26

IcedPurple · 08/01/2023 10:19

Their business, and it is a business, is 'corporate coaching' with unlicensed 'life coaches'. Not trained therapists. Probably worse than useless for someone who clearly needs professional therapy.

Show quote history

What is Harrys role exactly? He doesn’t seem to have one.

Original poster
Abigail69 · 08/01/2023 22:54

Mehmeh22 · 08/01/2023 15:58

@Abigail69 Just because they are the same family, doesn't mean they are clones. I think you'll find your own comment is flawed.

I disagree. The way harry makes them out, its out of this world and I'm not in a minority here.

The TV soap tonight - I could not watch it for more than a few minutes as it was one of the most cringeworthy tv soaps I've seen ever

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Original poster
Abigail69 · 08/01/2023 22:55

ShirleyHolmes · 08/01/2023 17:57

Consider his childhood:
press intrusion from birth and within the Royal institution goldfish bowl.
Two unhappy parents in a miserable and toxic marriage.
Mother with significant MH issues.
Much care provided by nannies.
Full boarder from age 7
Parents bitter separation with both parents talking openly to the press about infidelity.
Father in relationship with mistress that caused unhappiness to mother.
Mother having various other relationships.
Mother being pursued by paparazzi and killed in a car crash age 12.
Having to greet public and walk behind mother’s coffin on TV.
Probably well meaning but emotionally and physically absent father.

Well, I would probably be fucked up too!

In this situation, I would fly over and try and talk with him, try to listen, suggest family therapy, ensure they understood that I loved them unconditionally, have therapy myself to consider my part in this and ensure the door remained open.

"His role...I'd be fucked up too." LOL - Billions would give eye teeth to be in that "role."

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Mehmeh22 · 08/01/2023 23:17

@Abigail69 Be careful what you wish for really. The way he makes them out does seem out of this world and lots of people agree with you......but that is not his lived experience. You're going off surface stuff. Try working out why he's behaving in this way.

I'm not a Harry supporter by any means but I have empathy. How would you feel if you suffered and no one believed you?

Rockybooboo · 08/01/2023 23:21

Abigail69 · 08/01/2023 13:10

Your argument is fundamentally flawed so at least try and make an effort that won't fall down at the first test.

Why then is Wills not doing that, same family, eh?

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Because he wants to be King.

Rockybooboo · 08/01/2023 23:23

Itsnottime · 08/01/2023 18:24

I think Charles is trying his level best to be fair. Remember he’s in his gilded cage too.

We don't know that he is. He might be but it's not definite.

Quartz2208 · 09/01/2023 08:09

Charles to be fair has his own issues - his own childhood was hardly a bed of roses. The Queen was a very good Queen and ruled very well but that came with consequences and compromises when it came to family life and you see that here.

William knows what is at stake for him - and he will in no way put that at risk. Harry is in a position where he actually has very little to lose

"His role...I'd be fucked up too." LOL - Billions would give eye teeth to be in that "role."

@Abigail69 I think this has made it very clear that actually who would want to be in his position. I can see why lower level Royalty and Aristocracy may well still be something people wish for but this role - no, no way. One can only hope that if William and Kate learn anything from this it is making sure that they dont make the same mistakes with their children. Given how the media are already treating them it is going to be an uphill battle for that one I think.

Personally I think it is very clear that this is Harry's Truth - that whereas I am certain that others would have different perspectives and opinions and the actual factual truth is very different. What he is saying he definitely believes

kirinm · 09/01/2023 09:49

I would speak to him. I wouldn't ignore his calls. It isn't hard for a normal parent to appreciate that their child needs them to engage with them.

But most normal parents wouldn't sit by whilst the press attack them on a daily basis and say nothing. You can't really ask what we would do because there is nothing normal about the family.

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 09/01/2023 10:06

I'd just accept (although it would break my heart) that he hated me and the rest of our family and wish him well and let him get on with his life in the US and stay very very LC, maybe just birthday cards and gifts for my grandkids.

kirinm · 09/01/2023 10:09

But he doesn't hate his Dad, does he? Does he actually say anything about hating his Dad? He has obviously said things that the Royal Family would prefer weren't aired but I don't think he has said anything particularly vindictive about his father. Perhaps the reference to leaks from the palace.

I'd guess that the things said about Camilla will be enough for Charles to ignore Harry.

coolmum123 · 09/01/2023 10:16

I haven't read twt but I have been thinking about this for the past few days. Initially when it all came out I would be sad that he felt this way. I would have tried to talk to him. (Post Megxit pre Oprah) I would feel hurt by the Oprah interview but still keep the door open for reconciliation. However after the revelations over the past week. I would be done. The door would still be slightly open but I would not be reaching out or apologizing or anything. Total silence on my part. I wouldn't trust him if my life depended on it.

Daisymaker · 09/01/2023 12:08

I would let him know that I love him, always will and will be here when he wants to talk

Sweetpeasaremadeforbees · 09/01/2023 12:21

But he doesn't hate his Dad, does he? Does he actually say anything about hating his Dad?

No he actually said in the interview that he loves his dad. But words are cheap. H's actions show that he despises his family. What is that old MN adage, when someone shows you what they are, believe them? H's actions show the RF exactly what he thinks of them.

Sugarfree23 · 09/01/2023 16:02

Actions speak louder than words, if he truly loved his Dad why would he try to get the world to ridicule him for having a Teddy.
Harry wants his cake and eat it. He wants to have his family love and support him (and fund him) while at the same time ridicule them and make money from them.
He cannot see that the two things are not compatible.
Must be hard enough to walk in Williams shoes, giving enough access to keep interest, while maintaining enough privacy to keep kids happy. He does not need a spy in the camp.

Original poster
Abigail69 · 09/01/2023 20:42

Harry wants it all his way, nothing less, nothing more.

He is a disgrace to the RF and comes a close second to uncle Andrew,

the comments re Taliban, I feel for the troops etc

OP posts:
Original poster
Abigail69 · 09/01/2023 20:46

dfgdfg

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Mehmeh22 · 09/01/2023 23:15

@Abigail69 You compare a suspected pedophile and rapist to someone telling the world his truth?!

Christ on a bike!!

Original poster
Abigail69 · 09/01/2023 23:22

Mehmeh22 · 09/01/2023 23:15

@Abigail69 You compare a suspected pedophile and rapist to someone telling the world his truth?!

Christ on a bike!!

Stop being a drama queen
Andrew is dislike as is Mr Harry, both are disliked for different reasons but both are disliked and that is a fact.

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MandyMotherOfBrian · 09/01/2023 23:55

So, I’m a republican, no question. I’ve never got involved or cared about any of the shit about any of them, including Meghan and Harry, beyond that basic perspective as them as an entity.
However, I am a flawed human being, and, as such, I almost couldn’t stop myself getting drawn in to this after the extracts from the bio have been reported on in the media (be that the Mail or the Guardian, they’re all reporting on it, it’s inescapable). And I formed an opinion, against my better judgment, on various aspects of it all. But tonight, I’m 12 minutes in to the Prince Harry interview with Tom Bradby. I now have a totally different perspective. The main thing, the only thing, and the thing that explains everything as far as I (a previously unsympathetic observer) can see is, his Mother died under indescribable circumstances and there was no one there for him and it’s all led to this (yes, he wasn’t the only one affected, but the others may have had a different experience of recovery). I feel sorry for him, though I loathe the society that we live in that means his level of privilege and wealth is just accepted by some and revered by others, but yeah, I just feel so very sorry for him. He’s got no one, unequivocally, on his side. I feel the same for William and Charles, but they both seem to have either reconciled their feelings with their role or they haven’t but they still can’t bring themselves to express it. I can’t see any winners in this whole sorry saga. Certainly not Harry and Meghan, certainly not the monarchy and certainly not the establishment and those that want to uphold this whole antiquated Institution. It’s a shitshow. But it might just be the beginning of the end of a much bigger shitshow that really does need to be ended.

Sugarfree23 · 10/01/2023 00:08

I actually don't buy 'there was no one there for him' he had Grandparents, including a DGF who also suffered bereavment as a child and had a horrendous childhood. Harry had a devoted father, Aunties and Uncles on both side who would have listened,
Nanny's and if the family felt councilling was necessary he'd have had it.

What more did he want?

Ticketyboots · 10/01/2023 00:15

MandyMotherOfBrian · 09/01/2023 23:55

So, I’m a republican, no question. I’ve never got involved or cared about any of the shit about any of them, including Meghan and Harry, beyond that basic perspective as them as an entity.
However, I am a flawed human being, and, as such, I almost couldn’t stop myself getting drawn in to this after the extracts from the bio have been reported on in the media (be that the Mail or the Guardian, they’re all reporting on it, it’s inescapable). And I formed an opinion, against my better judgment, on various aspects of it all. But tonight, I’m 12 minutes in to the Prince Harry interview with Tom Bradby. I now have a totally different perspective. The main thing, the only thing, and the thing that explains everything as far as I (a previously unsympathetic observer) can see is, his Mother died under indescribable circumstances and there was no one there for him and it’s all led to this (yes, he wasn’t the only one affected, but the others may have had a different experience of recovery). I feel sorry for him, though I loathe the society that we live in that means his level of privilege and wealth is just accepted by some and revered by others, but yeah, I just feel so very sorry for him. He’s got no one, unequivocally, on his side. I feel the same for William and Charles, but they both seem to have either reconciled their feelings with their role or they haven’t but they still can’t bring themselves to express it. I can’t see any winners in this whole sorry saga. Certainly not Harry and Meghan, certainly not the monarchy and certainly not the establishment and those that want to uphold this whole antiquated Institution. It’s a shitshow. But it might just be the beginning of the end of a much bigger shitshow that really does need to be ended.

I have every sympathy for the tragic loss of parent in childhood. It happened to me and life afterwards was a series of further catastrophes. I recognise his PTSD, his unresolved grief, exacerbated by his addictions and his unique family / public exposure situation have led him to behave in this way.

It explains it but doesn’t excuse it.

He talks about accountability.

Yes he needs to be accountable to his own MH first. He needs to stop lashing out and to take time to self reflect. His polarised, black and white thinking, blaming others is characteristic of very poor MH. As is rigid thinking where he is just doubling down on his “truth” - there is often no such thing as truth in the types of things he is talking about - there is each and everyones subjective experience / expectations and perspective. Being constructive in life is seeing things from others point of view and shifting yours a little. I am not sure he has that capacity - he seems to have a set of self serving red lines and demands which make him look foolish, stubborn, and self righteous.

Quartz2208 · 10/01/2023 08:05

Sugarfree23 · 10/01/2023 00:08

I actually don't buy 'there was no one there for him' he had Grandparents, including a DGF who also suffered bereavment as a child and had a horrendous childhood. Harry had a devoted father, Aunties and Uncles on both side who would have listened,
Nanny's and if the family felt councilling was necessary he'd have had it.

What more did he want?

The Queen and the Royal Family of the 2020s was not the one around in the 1990s and I can easily see how that might not be true

Diana’s relationship with her mother wasn’t great, Charles had a hard time in his childhood and though clearly loves his son duty above all else.

looking back you can kind of see how Harry never fit the mould of his cousins and brothers of just getting on with it duty above all else and how meeting Megan has tapped into that

kirinm · 10/01/2023 08:24

Sugarfree23 · 10/01/2023 00:08

I actually don't buy 'there was no one there for him' he had Grandparents, including a DGF who also suffered bereavment as a child and had a horrendous childhood. Harry had a devoted father, Aunties and Uncles on both side who would have listened,
Nanny's and if the family felt councilling was necessary he'd have had it.

What more did he want?

How do you know they were devoted? Wasn't he at Eton rather than surrounded by these supposedly devoted family members?