If Harry was your son and was doing this, what would you do?

[Abigail69]

Lets assume that your child lets call them Mr Harry was behaving like the Harry, ie Charles son. What would you do to stop this rubbish?

Persoanlly, if Mr Harry was one of my kids and was doing this, ie airing private stuff on the media etc, I slap their bottom and never speak to them unless Mr Harry and his OH sincerely apologised and showed regret and guaranteed it would never happen again.

The problem for Charles and William is that Harry has shown himself willing to share their private conversations with the media, so if I were them I'd be very cautious about saying anything at all to him. The RF's policy of silence is, IMO, the most sensible and dignified public response.

As for behind the scenes - I think it's outrageous that Harry's message to his family is 'The ball's in your court'. Fuck that! He's the one lobbing missiles at them. The ball is in his fucking court and IMO he owes them all a massive apology and the promise that he will keep any conversations private in future. As Charles has said before, Harry has his number, so if he wants to talk he knows how to get in touch.

Exactly what the RF are doing. Wait for him to get over himself and then welcome him back when he’s ready.

I’d make him sit on the naughty throne.

Say and do nothing to add flames to the drama. if this is what makes him happy, so be it.

Be ready to pick up the pieces should he turn out eventually not to be happy.

I wouldn't talk / write to him in any detail because then some weird twisted version of it would end up in the press. I'd just send short messages saying he was welcome to come round for a chat any time.

My brother does behave a bit like this, as far as us plebs are concerned.
My parents just roll their eyes really as much of what he says is clearly rubbish.

Unfortunately, some people could have the moon on a stick and they'd still feel hard done by.

When I became a parent I realised how hard it is and that anything my parents did "wrong" was just them doing their best in any given situation. Some people just don't get that and carry on blaming everyone for everything (my brother even gets angry that he hasn't got a better job because our parents weren't "inspirational" enough!).

Maybe Charles and co did some bad things to Harry but he is totally without any compassion for them and there's nothing you can do about that.

All of this. The royal family are hardly innocent in all of this.

Wait, he’s saying he wasn’t William’s best man and didn’t give a speech? In the book?

I don't think any of us could apply our own family methods to that of the RF. But if I consider what I'd do in Charles' shoes, I'd do this:

I'd book a flight, go alone and visit him and his wife.
Listen
Offer apologies where due....
Provide assurances of new methods regarding media policy for entire RF.
Offer to pay and participate in family counselling.
Invest quiet private time attempting to get the family to some level of amicable and respectful function.
Maybe get H&M over to Balmoral for a few months just to privately work through and unravel what must be insanely tough times.
Set timelines for decisions to made regarding things like titles, childrens future, how public and private roles may be managed.
Create legal frameworks for non working RF members to prevent this kind of soap opera ever happening again.
Pay the security needed for H&M and their kids.
In a few months time issue a single, final and joint family statement on this whole debacle, all signing acknowledging mistakes, regrets and apologies, publicly inviting H&M to the Coronation .
But all the above would be on the firm basis there's no more airing dirty laundry, no more point scoring (both sides) and zero tolerance for misuse of the media.

I would be having a quite hard with his wife and asking if she thought he was OK? Stressed? Coping. Probably sit him him down gently as if needed demesne to talk to. I think he needs help, but maybe more than he will ever get.

Phone him and say I'm not going to respond to anything you have said via the media but I am here for you when you want to talk to me. Remember I love you

Nothing. Ain't no cure for stupid.

Take away his internet privileges. Put him on dishwasher duty for a year. Grounded until he can get a grip.

A relative of mine behaves similarly, but without the media following.
He had a similarly traumatic upbringing, loss of a parent, stiff upper lip approach, boarding school throughout secondary school, he is a monumental screw up.

Those of us who tolerate him do so because we understand how very hard his adolescence was, and having an outlet and support helps to manage his life.
I wonder if for Harry he hasn’t had this, and Meghan might be more open about these things and has unleashed a beast.

As for how it should be dealt with, someone commented dignified silence. I don’t think anyone can say anything that will either fix the situation or will not escalate it more.

I would like this leaking stories stuff to be clearly articulated.

Specifically what stories were leaked and what evidence it was done by a specific person and done maliciously.

It's been a constant, oft repeated on MN as gospel. Be specific - which stories ere leaked?

In his book it's reported he said camilla leaked her first meeting with William - it's since been shown that this was uncovered at the time ( so over 15 years ago) that it was her private secretary who was indiscreet with a family member - the secretary had not been told to leak it and she resigned.

I'd fly over there and have a heart-to-heart. I'd be very worried about him. What I did next would depend on whether he let me see him and what he said, if anything. I'd just reassure him that I loved him and that the door was always open for family counselling or if he needed me but that I wouldn't accept him continuing to put me and the rest of his family through this.

Good idea but what if his strings were being pilled by his gf/lover etc.
Most kids, often men will dance to their OH's tune I've found out at times.

Good idea and as several others have said, 'dignified silencen' - I do that when one of our daughters kicks off, the bs she comes out with is shocking but she loves me and then apologises - its good i keep it zipped otherwsie we'd be no better than the next loud family type

My older brother was a bit like this - decided that I was the favourite child and that the family (especially my dad) had always been against him. In truth I think I was just 'easier' and more typical for my parents - fairly normal, not too much drama about anything, worked hard at school etc.
In retrospect, I think my brother had some undiagnosed issues - either learning difficulties or mental health problems. Nothing my parents did was good enough for him - they supported him through college/ uni/ gave him a deposit for his first flat etc, but things always seemed to go wrong for him and it was always someone else's fault - teachers being biased against him, friends taking advantage, bosses being mean, my parents not supporting him financially enough etc.
When my dad died my brother got a house left to him, but the total value was slightly less than my share as my dad had made it clear that gifts he had given him during his lifetime were an 'advance' of some of the inheritance he would get.
My brother just flipped! Wanted to contest the will, emailed all his friends to get their POV and sent me the responses (but he misrepresented the situation). He also used to send me long, long vitriolic emails, written at 3 am which basically accused me of plotting against him all his life and demanding to know how much money I'd had from my parents (none, as I'd always paid my own way), how much DH & I earned, how much our mortgage was etc.

It was awful, and really upset me. In the end I stopped replying and told him to direct any formal questions through the solicitor, at his own expense.

We barely talked for about 6 years then he gradually started sending me the occasional email and message. Never apologised, never mentioned any of the previous things he'd done/ said.
I don't trust him though, and keep him at arms length away from my family. I dread something happening to him and me having to deal with it though. I am the only family he has 😟

This

I'd be worried about his mental health and stability and try to offer some support through a separate 3rd party to make sure he is okay.

He has no escape from the situation he has made. Has isolated himself from his family and his friends. There are aspects of his relationship with Meghan that appear abusive, that he is brainwashed. Will he feel suicidal after this?

Thing is he hasn't got a Mum though, she died very suddenly when he was young, remember?
Are people honestly that blind ?
My two sons also lost a parent young, people say " "You would never know "
I can tell you quite clearly l do know.

I honestly don't think anything the RF do will make a difference. He is seeing reality in a very distorted way. He is disturbed and not rational. I wouldn't respond at all. There is nothing they can do. If Harry sorts himself out and approaches them with a genuine willingness to change the might be different, but the trust is gone for ever. They can't rely on him not to go running to the Press every time they speak to him, probably with a made up version of what actually happened. He's really lost the plot.

I know someone who had a relation with significant mental troubles in his later years. He had dabbled in what I would think of as 'lesser' type drugs when he was young and I hadn't realised that there can be a later effect from that.

I think behind the scenes I'd be trying to reach out to any mutual friends we still had and ask them to try to keep an eye on him/ offer help if they could.

Does he still have any trusted UK friends? Meghan seemed to criticise and reject all his friends when she met them - I wonder if he has dropped them for her?