Who on earth thought it was a good idea to tell Harry that his own Father called him "The Spare"

[OnTheRunWithMannyMontana]

On the day he was born!

It seems really vindictive to me.

You can't tell a child that and not expect it to damage them for a very long time.

In what way was he not treated equally?

This spare concept is being taken as though it's a negative thing whereas it has many positives I don't believe for one minute either boy was treated differently in terms of favouritism

He has been treated by everyone else as an equal. William and Harry have had the same access to education, opportunities, access to the Queen and travel and their own adventures etc. There is no difference at all if you map out both of their lives.

There is a difference though, which became more and more apparent. One will be King one day. Sibling rivalry is a thing.

Of course they are not treated the same. William was raised to be a King and that will have affected how he is treated and what he is taught. This is way a hereditary monarchy operate.
There are plenty of stories around that the Royal Family thought Diana created the issue by treating them as equals in the first place.

The idea of a spare is built into the notion of hereditary titles. I can follow an argument that this is a unfair idea and should be abolished.

But Harry has said today he believes in the monarchy. So the role of a spare would continue.

Harry seems to be saying he wants a monarchy but wants everyone to be equal. Or at least for him to get to be king, I'm not sure he's actually worried about the rest of us that he's 'higher' than, or something.

You'd have thought they would have explained monarchy to him. He seems very confused.

oh it's just a little joke isn't it! My Dad (same age as Charles) regularly said things like that when me and brother were kids - meet my heir and my spare! We thought it was funny!

And he is the 'spare ' = he's not the heir to the throne. I'd have thought that was a relief.

He needs to get a bloody grip he's 40 fgs.

hmmm, this makes me wonder if Harry’s grievances have the wrong foundations identified. I think he’s probably envious of the chasm between their intellectual capabilities and the difference that makes to being able to make the most of opportunities.

I think if we plucked them out of the RF we’d still end up here.

Sounds similar to what could be perceived as Andrew's jealousy if Charles.

Word was that he was trying to convince Queen to skip Charles

Being the spare is probably a bit of a test of character.

If you have a strong sense of self what you want to do with your life and what your values are, then you'll probably thrive with the opportunity and freedom it gives.

If however you have a weak sense of self, rely on lots of external validation, have no clear path you want to pursue & feel unsure about your values, then you'll probably flounder blame others, feel hard done by and become bitter.

Harry might have actually been good as king, if given a role to fulfill he may have risen to it. Just as the army suited him. But he's struggling to find his own identity separate from the family.

Maybe that's where the jealousy with William really lies: William has a role to structure his life, Harry has to find his on his own and he's failing.

Hereditary privilege and status is a terrible thing so I'm guessing Harry will be relinquishing all the unearned titles and inheritances ..... or maybe not.

I can't believe the Oppression Olympics has reached the stage where we are continually lobbied to feel sorry for someone because he was born third in line to the throne instead of second in line. What deprivation!

Well Diana called him "a sort of backup"

And in an interview, not privately

Yeah. The spares still get to be princes and dukes - whatever that means

It was joked about in the press the moment he was born. Was a widely used phrase.

Did Hewitt tell him??

"An heir and a spare" is a very old and well known saying in reference to royal male offspring; it long predates Harry and was certainly bandied around then Prince Andrew was born.

King George V and King GeorgeVI were both "spare heirs", unexpectedly crowned because an older brother died or abdicated.

Diana openly called Harry 'the Spare'.
As Harry would not know what was said when he was born, someone thought it would be a good idea to tell Harry.
Did Charles say it? We do not know, as we were not there.

It’s ludicrous to expect equal billing or even a meritocracy whilst also inheriting so much. Either everything should be merit-based (so no inherited titles or assets) or not. Laughable to think that because he/they are “just as good as” the older sibling they should have the same access to inheriting a title. Why shouldn’t I also have the same right to inherit that title? Or you? Or my awful boss?

Isn't the Heir and a spare a well known phrase tho?

RTFT I have already recognised it's a widely used term but that it must have been a bit of a kicker to learn your own father had called you that.

It's a really common phrase among aristocratic families. I'm sure it was used on Downton. It's not like the King created the term especially for Harry.

Diana presumably, but it’s a common expression for the second in line which is what Harry was until George was born. 🤷‍♀️ If Charles said what it is reported he said (and who knows if he did), it’s clearly a comment directed at his marriage not a slight on his second son.

@OnTheRunWithMannyMontana jeez chill

But that's very standard in those circles. And personally I think being a 'spare' could have massive upsides. Nearly all the privilege, a fraction of the responsibility.

OP they are a dysfunctional family. The focus is about keeping the monarchy with all its privilege going, not about raising healthy and happy children.

I thought that the Charles was talking more about his own part. He’s got heir and a spare, job done, he could do what he liked and no need to have sex with Diana again.