Who on earth thought it was a good idea to tell Harry that his own Father called him "The Spare"

[OnTheRunWithMannyMontana]

On the day he was born!

It seems really vindictive to me.

You can't tell a child that and not expect it to damage them for a very long time.

Heir and spare goes back many moons, and let's also not forget that Queen Elizabeth was the daughter of a 'spare' so actually the spares do have a part to play.
If Harry was smart he'd enjoy his life of privilege, he needs it, he can't pay for his own way in any real sense of the word, he's cashing in on gossip and spinning lies, ratting out others and being a narcissistic clown
... oh wait - my bad - he has a really good chance in Tory politics

King Charles' savage joke to Princess Diana about delivering 'spare' baby Harry www.mirror.co.uk/news/royals/king-charles-savage-joke-princess-28878592?utm_source=app

Please accept my most sincere apologies for the daily mirror link - this is the leak from the book where H discusses his Father calling him "The spare" on the day he was born.

It is not wrong.
But with the Royal Family, and it has always happened, the heir goes to some events that the other kids do not. But the other kids do not go to public events without the heir being there.
The heir is always there.

Exactly. I’ve heard it hundreds of times in relation to our royals and other artistocratic families, titles etc.

For him to be that sensitive about it seems daft. He goes on about his lack of freedom (which I get - wouldn’t be a royal for anything ) but William has even less, as the heir. For example, the right of reply and to put forward his side of the story.

I don't get the angst over it tbh. The RF didn't start the saying. Everyone knows it.

But I don't get the angst over a lot that seems to upset Harry. He wastes so much energy and time on the stuff he rehashes but doesn't deal with.

I am speaking of my experience of living all my life in a farming community. All my school friends were farming children and all the eldest boys are running the family farms. One of them died in a horrible accident and hus brother is now running the farm.If that isn't your experience that's okay too. Not sure why you needed to be so aggressive x

Harry gave a televised interview in 2017 saying he was glad to be “the spare” and nobody wants to be the actual monarch because of how restrictive it is. So I doubt he’s bothered by not being king - that’s the last thing he wanted.

amp.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jun/22/prince-harry-says-no-one-royal-family-wants-king-queen

Well he needs to make his bloody mind up then!

He seems to have changed his mind about a lot of things since 2017.

Okay did not mean to come across as aggressive at all.
I assume you are a wealthy farming family then with one of those mega farms. I can see they would operate more like the aristocracy. Ordinary farmers don't do this.

Wow @BradfordGirl some assumptions with nasty overtones being made there, as someone's experience is not the same as your own they are not 'ordinary' (aka normal) like you?

My in laws referred to my sons this way and they could not give one shining shit. It's just an outdated expression and I certainly would not have been the one to tell them about it as their mother.
They heard my MIL use the term to refer to friends' grandsons and she explained it to them. At the time they just said 'Oh Grannie, that's not very nice' and got on with their Lego.
And whilst we are just your ordinary non-royals, they are sixth and seventh in line to a very.minor title.

@MalagaNights I am trying to understand how in meeting many many farming families all across the South East we have such different experiences. It is not nasty to suggest that people in wealthy mega large farms may have a very different experience to ordinary farmers.

@MalagaNights I mean the kind of farms where the owning "farmer" in reality manages the farm manager and accountants and only does any farming because they enjoy it.
The farmers I know are families who are out all day farming the land and caring for livestock. The two situations are extremely different.

And yet his mother didn’t say that had happened in her book, years earlier. She did say this though:
“suddenly as Harry was born, it just went bang, our marriage—the whole thing went down the drain.”
I’d say that sort of thing, published and in the public arena, by your own mother, probably doesn’t help the relationship you have with your father from the off.

Both Charles and Diana said negative things about each other in interviews and books. It would not be great for the children hearing both their parents slagging each other off.

Weren't William and Harry always called
'the heir and the spare'?

That expression has been around for donkeys years.

Re farming, all farms however small operate on an heir and spares basis otherwise the farm would need to be sold or divided up between siblings becoming uneconomical.
Even the tax system recognises this with farms exempt from inheritance tax.

Fortunately we only have one child but many farming friends are in difficult positions and yes the eldest isn't always the most suitable and may end up as the spare but at least it's not under media scrutiny.

Also, from Ingrid Seward:

“Diana used to call him the spare. Harry would say ‘I’m the spare, I don’t have to behave, I can do what I like”
Sounds very much like he is the product of a very dysfunctional upbringing and it’s affected him for a very long time.

Well it certainly looks like he's inherited a lot of his mothers more unfortunate traits.

It's one thing for your parents to say negative things about each other oter, another to be told your father said something negative about you. If Charles was disparaging, if, surely as a mother, Diana should have kept it to herself.

Who cares

It seems like the kind of thing a parent tells a child when they want to make sure they are the favourite parent

The biggest problem seems to be that Harry was treated as an equal, for all of this life, and is only just realising now that there is a distinct difference between William and himself. They are on totally different paths now.
Harry is kicking against an age old institution, and selling his bitterness and resentment for millions for public consumption, but in the long run he is only damaging himself, and his own children, for me it is very sad to witness his wilful self destruction.

The royal family will trundle on silently regardless, and Harry's pram will soon empty of toys that can be sold or lobbed in fury.

Harry was treated as an equal by Diana his mother. Not by anyone else.