Who on earth thought it was a good idea to tell Harry that his own Father called him "The Spare"

[OnTheRunWithMannyMontana]

On the day he was born!

It seems really vindictive to me.

You can't tell a child that and not expect it to damage them for a very long time.

If his father said it to his mother with no witnesses, surely his mother told him?

When I was born my grandad said, ‘Another splitarse?’

Maybe I should get a Netflix series and a book deal too.

His Mother seemed to be (understandably) quite bitter and petulant. She wanted the whole world to love her and threw tantrums when they didn’t
Looks like she told/taught him plenty to the extent he married a replica

jtaeapa · Today 11:17
If his father said it to his mother with no witnesses, surely his mother told him?

This ^

Whole family is dysfunctional. Unsurprising given their ‘status’. How can you be ever be normal and well-adjusted when you’re royal?

If his father said it to his mother with no witnesses, surely his mother told him?

This. For years the story was that no matter her faults, Diana was a brilliant mother. But stories like this and William pushing tissues under the bathroom door make me think that actually, she was a pretty dysfunctional mother. And the irony is that it's PH contributing to this picture.

It is a common phrase and Harry would have been an idiot not to know that is what he was in terms of succession. The Queen's Father was the Spare and look at what happened to him.

Diana must have told him.

Which would be really shitty if so.

Agree, "the heir and the spare" is a well known phrase. We don't know what context it was said in (or even if it was), it could have been lighthearted.

His mother published it in her book.

He is railing against the facts of his birth status which cannot be changed. He's making himself look like a total dick in the process - he wants to be out yet still be in. It doesn't make sense . He's expecting his father to make amends before he will come to the coronation? Even the most ardent M and H fans must see that he is unrealistic at best.

Diana

I haven’t read her book but I vaguely recall hearing this anecdote before but in the context of hearing why Princess Diana had such a hard time.

I’m prepared to believe this has been published many time over the years.

I thought The Spare was a phrase used by the aristocracy in general and not just the RF?

Ofgs it's a common phrase applicable to the situation which is likely to have been said as a light hearted reference to it's applicability.

He was the second born so second in line.

Being the 2nd in line or 'spare' is not a bad thing, it could easily be seen as the advantage.

This would only have been awful if it had been followed by not loving him as much because he was the second born.

I'd bet my lunch Harry has made jokes himself over many years about being the spare, how poor old Wills is lumbered with duty etc. It's only now he's searching for a victim narrative this 'spare' reference is so crushing and wounding.

First borns have it hard in some families, middle children have it hard in others. There is nothing to get hung up on, really. Of course they are dysfunctional in relation to societal norms but since they are part of a thin layer of elite, their norms are beheadings, battles, land grabbing and all the rest. In view of all of that, are they really dysfunctional or doing quite well considering!

I honestly don't think Harry can remember that - he was only just born.
His mother perhaps was trying to say it to upset him; weird.

In reality spare just means second born. All royal families have the first born as heir. There can only be one oldest in each family and the rest are lucky to be born, especially with climate change and trying to not over populate the planet.

Agree, he cannot hurt them without hurting himself as he is a part of them and always will be. There seems to be some false memory syndrome creeping in re some of the more outlandish claims. It is really reckless to go that far without presenting evidence to back them up.

That was my thinking although I'm of the generation that doesn't want to think it of her.

I was wondering along the lines of it'd she had repeated it to someone and that's how he found out.

And yes it's a known phrase but I don't think it would have been nice to hear that it was actually said by your father on the day you were born. It makes me wonder if that was the start of this victim complex he seems to have?

I thought it was Diana who said she'd done her duty producing an heir and a spare. And iirc she said Charles upset her by saying something along the lines of "another boy" he wanted a daughter.

🤷‍♀️

Recollections vary. Especially when repeated third hand.

He's such a simpleton that he thinks the fact he never gets to be king will garner support with the general public.

His 'there is a hierarchy in the royal family ' comment was hilarious.

Didn't he wonder why he & William got to fly to Balmoral when HMQ died but the other grandchildren didn't?
Not because they were loved more by their grandmother but because they are The Kings sons.

He only seems upset about hierarchy as far as it impacts him. For everyone below him, in the family and the rest of us he seems oblivious.

That is my understanding. I don't think it was a term that only started when Charles and Diana became parents.

What mother lets her young child comfort them when they're crying in the bathroom. Most mothers would compose themselves as much as possible and say something like "I just got something in my eye my darling. Thank you for the tissues they did just the trick, but you don't need to look after me my love. It's my job to look after you" or whatever

I know several 'spares' they are all immensely grateful that they are second born and don't have the weight of expectation, responsibility. It is a very well known term when land or titles will be passed to the first born.

The phrase “an heir and a spare” is well known in aristocratic circles - there would be no need for anyone to have told Harry. the only job of the brood mare (mother) is to produce “an heir and a spare”.

by all means say we shouldn’t have a hereditary monarchy, but if you support it you can’t complain about your place in the pecking order, which is dictated entirely by the accident of birth order.