Who on earth thought it was a good idea to tell Harry that his own Father called him "The Spare"

[OnTheRunWithMannyMontana]

On the day he was born!

It seems really vindictive to me.

You can't tell a child that and not expect it to damage them for a very long time.

I always thought Charles said something about him having red hair?
Charles had a lot to say. Oh it’s a boy, with red hair, and he’s a spare.
We are all spares except William and George. Some more spare than others.

Exactly. Everyone said it at the time: 'Now they've got an heir and a spare'. It was a common enough phrase and I'd be more surprised if he hadn't heard about it. Other 'spares' include HenryVIII.

I'm sure the phrase would have been familiar to the Norman's. Probably even the Romans.

The Queen's father was a Spare.

And he came in handy.

Before the abdication The Queen was the equivalent of Archie.

Spare of a spare.

Aristocracy, the Heir and the Spare, and once produced they all went off and had affairs.

My mother told me she never wanted children. She said she'd kill me one day. She said she'd kill herself. She was abusive and life at home was awful, compounded by lack of money and living in poverty. We had no palace, no nanny.

However, my mum had some good sides and I understand why she was as she was. I've had the odd falling out with my brother's as many families do.

But would I go on worldwide media and rip them all apart to the entire world?

Of course not. If I have issues with them, I tell them. I can't change my mum and accept that. But it's MY family. MY family laundry. Why would I wish to destroy my mother or the rest of the family in front of the world? I wouldn't.

I can't believe the spoilt, entitled, tantrum behaviour coming from Harry. Unlike most of us, while he's suffered some trauma like many, and has tricky family dynamics (like 90% of us), he at least had some advantages in life. He's had 4 or 5 years of therapy (us plebs get 6 weeks CBT if we r lucky). He never has to worry about a roof over his head or cost of fuel. He grew up with central heating on, a nanny, ski holidays, good schooling.

To internationally rip his brother apart in front of every single human being with access to media? Unforgivable. Utterly UN FOR GIVE ABLE.

William must be livid and rightly so.

The more harry speaks the less I like him or his wife.

And to think I used to think he was the best of the royal bunch!

Just to clarify following some of the comments...

I am fully aware that An heir and a spare is a known phrase that Harry would have been aware of.

My musing is over his feelings on knowing that his father had voiced that opinion and if that knowledge kick started his victim complex.

And also his appropriate it was for "someone" to tell Harry that his father had used those exact words.

The phrase 'an heir an a spare' certainly pre-dates Harry. As ever, he has to make everything about himself though.

Obviously there is a hierarchy of formal position within the royal family in relation to the line of succession but it doesn't mean that there is less personal 'value' placed on individuals at a personal/family level. Is Harry claiming he wasn't as well loved or cared for as his brother? Some things may have been done differently with the knowledge that William would be king but is he saying on a personal level that he wasn't as well loved by his parents and wiser family? I thought he always wanted to emphasise how special he was to the queen? And he talks about how wonderful his mother was?

He has said in his interview with Tom Bradby that he is supportive of monarchy. Well that means accepting a hierarchy of position then doesn't it. He'd have done well to look at the behaviour of Anne and Edward, and indeed all of his cousins, all of whom understand this and aren't crying on Netflix or in books for ££££££ about it all.

Perhaps a dumb question from me - is H actually complaining about a) being the spare and b) being referred to as the spare?
Or is it just the title of the book, relevancy to be determined once read?

That's appalling

Oh probably both, there's no end or limit to the things he will complain about.

A grace and favour historic home in palace grounds, rent free in central London wasn't good enough for him after all.

Harry said a number of family members called him the spare to his face. So I don't think it was some big secret.

Apparently the whole book is a rage by harry against his status as the second born and therefore not the top dog. The word spare is in common use and I am absolutely sure neither his mother or anyone told him you are worthless because you're the spare which is what he is implying. He is jealous and a petulant splint child He's sounding increasingly unhinged.

And the spare is treated differently. Already George goes to events that the others do not because he is the heir. It is what happens with them all.
Margaret also had issues with being the spare.

Charles didn't call him a spare. He was disappointed the baby wasn't a girl. And he commented on his red hair.

Diana revealed all this to us and to Harry in her book by Andrew Morton.

It's the same in farming families, the oldest boy is expected to carry on the farm and to marry and produce at least one son. Farming is dangerous ,a spare is a good insurance policy. Girls marry out to other farms and produce sons, and so it goes on. In the Royal family, in the past ,princes would have gone to battle and possibly died, so spares were essential. I have 2 sons. My family refer to them as the heir and the spare. Neither of them will be king of anything of course and both will inherit equally , which obviously isn't the case in the Royal family. The Queen mother was apparently a stickler for protocol and gave William the first choice of everything. She also left Harry a greater inheritance because she knew his path was different . Harry had choices and it's sad that he is too dim to grasp them.

What events are these? Charlotte seems to go to all the same events apart from the football.

@AngelinaFibres I come from a farming family. I have NEVER heard the word spare used in farming families. And it is not automatically the first born male. It is whoever is suited to it and interested in farming. In my family it was a daughter and her husband who took on the farm. The oldest male is making far more money in a scientific field with far less work involved.

Ofgs it's a common phrase applicable to the situation which is likely to have been said as a light hearted reference to it's applicability.

^^ This.

As others have commented above, the phrase "the heir and the spare" is well-known. But when I was a child, the expression "spare" was often used as an insult - usually as a comment on someone's physical appearance. The phrase "spare part" was also used.

I don't know if this still applies today (no doubt younger MNers can enlighten me one way or the other), but if it does, could this be what Harry means? To be described as "spare" in this context is very hurtful, no matter what one's individual circumstances.

100% this. But unfortunately a lot of mothers/fathers. That's why there are phrases for it - Emotional incest/parentification.

Eh? It’s a phrase that’s used. Charlotte is now considered the spare,

@BradfordGirl

I’ve three children, I bring them to different events due to age and interests

I bring each of them away individually so we can do things they are interested in. The youngest hasn’t been away as much due to covid but hope to make it up this year

are you saying that’s wrong

All of his friends at his various private schools would have been the heir to something or the spare. Some would have moved up to the top job if a sibling died, some would live their whole lives as the spare. He had so many opportunities as the spare that his brother has never had. I dare say it was a bit of a shock to Megan to realise what being the wife of the spare meant.