Harry and Meghan -- Why I dislike them BOTH

[PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog]

I keep seeing threads that say everyone who dislikes the Sussexs is based on some form of racism and I wanted to put my view across. I will set the parameters of my points:

1. Meghan absolutely did receive racist coverage from sections of the British media.

1. I believe that there were threats to their safety by far right loons.
2. I believe they were both unhappy as working members of the RF

However...

I still find them both very disingenuous. They highlight and speak up against the racism of others, whilst failing to address Harry's previous and documented racist behaviour. As a Jew I cannot understand how Meghan can just remain silent about her husbands former mistakes. This makes her seem untrustworthy to me and seems like she will put up with anything for money and cache, whilst arguing (rightly) that racism is totally unacceptable. He keeps saying others need to learn and he is right, but he should acknowledge that he too needed to learn, acknowledge the support needed to help others learn and offer that support to others (including his own family, if needed).

Their attitude towards the public also seems 'off' and ungrateful to me and they seem to collocate the press and the public as the same thing. There is a lot of footage of the public support for them before, during and after their wedding. Yet, apparently, they did not want the big public wedding and the 'UK' was racist towards them. Harry particularly understands the 'deal' between the monarchy and the public and ought to have explained this to Meghan, the comments re the wedding on Oprah came across as quite spiteful and tone deaf. Almost like, 'we suffered through the big wedding for the plebs.' Ditto all the strange behaviour around Archie's birth. They could have followed the Tindall's approach if they wanted to avoid press intrusion.

During financial pressures around the world they are still complaining and not acknowledging their wealth and privilege, whilst claiming to give voice to the needs of those living in poverty and suffering. The Africa interview was a prime example for both of them. It just all comes together to make them feel untrustworthy to me, and makes me dislike them. I do not wish them any ill, but I wish they would acknowledge their fortune and live private, useful lives.

Al they seem to do is whinge and rehash everything. Once they have "told all" they will have nothing else to fall back on. Neither of them have any great talent, their only claim to fame is the RF.

Harry is easily led and incredibly naive and emotionally immature. I understand he is the 'spare' and he is not that into Royal life. He is not the first, Zara is not a royal and neither is her brother. Even Beatrice and Eugenie have managed to cobble together a (ok privileged) life outside the royal family for themselves.

For me Harry was lost until he found Meghan but since meeting her he has followed her lead in treating family badly. She has just about fallen out with every single one of her's and now the same has happened to Harry. She was not a great actress, the Emmy winner was actually her father. They will twist and turn their version of events so they are the victims, every time. Every time they speak it is rarely positive.

I just get the feeling these two will never be happy - there will always be a problem no matter what.

Couldn’t have put it better myself ! I keep seeing comments about them “ having to flee” etc , no they didn’t, they never wanted to leave , they flounced off when they didn’t get their own way !

It never goes well for the spare, does it?

Prince Andrew obvs
Edward VIII effectively fell into the 'spare' role after he abdicated and became a full on actual traitor (www.independent.co.uk/news/media/tv-radio/edward-viii-traitor-ww2-documentary-b2043974.html)
Prince Harry

It makes me fear for Charlotte. I'm a natural small c conservative and am generally in favour of the royal family in a 'why change it' kind of way. but the toxicity we see around the spare increasingly makes me think the whole institution is rotten

I think William and Catherine are sensible , grounded parents . Catherine has a solid family background. They will both be well aware of the pitfalls of a “ spare “ ( although Anne was spare for years and she is ok) so will be well prepared for any issues.

I'm also not buying the 'Harry was young when he said that' nonsense.

He's a couple of years younger than me and those words and phrases weren't acceptable when I was 19, so they damn well weren't when he was.

There is no way on God's green earth that he, a highly educated young Man, also well schooled in public appearance didn't know they were offensive, no way.

The truth is she wanted to be a fairy tale princess but didn't realise that with privilege comes duty, that means your life being scheduled for you, attending events like plaque unveiling and hand shaking not swanky award ceremonies, by meeting nurses and council workers not the great and the good, it means not being able to speak your mind, having to take counsel.

they have lives of extreme privilege, but with strict rules including dress codes, where they can put their patronage and extreme media scrutiny.

She couldn't cope with being told what she could and couldn't do and has nothing to do with race, it's her very different background that I think was the insurmountable obstacle. (By contrast Kate was on the scene for many years before marrying and was able to sample what life would be like, she knew what she was signing up for, as Charles said at the time of their engagement in an off the cuff remark, well they have been practising for long enough!)

I wish H&M well but they need to stop dining out on the royal family, they chose to leave!

So many paragraphs of vitriol aimed at people you've probably never met or know.

I don't suggest I know any of the Royal Family but I did spend an afternoon and evening with Prince Harry. A charity event for very sick children. I watched him with all the children, my own included, the parents, me included, and the Drs and nurses who look after these children. He knew all their stories, was never once 'briefed' by his people. He was warm, generous, funny, real. He had done his homework on every single person in that room. He had a wonderful, and rare it would seem, ability to make every single person feel special and important. You can't kid a kid, especially kids who have seen so much shit in their short lives. You can't kid their parents who have witnessed horror most people will never know. I spent the evening sitting next to him, just me, my 2 kids, my mum and his personal assistant. He was gracious, empathetic, funny, kind, warm and cried with everyone of us.

I will never forget how he was to me, my sons, all the children there that night. This was before he had children of his own.

He showed compassion and warmth, sometimes not always shown by others I came across during my son's illness and death.

This was away from cameras. There was no need to 'perform' for cameras. The dinner speech and awards were for the cameras but the hours spent away from the cameras were the important bits for the children and their families.

My own experience was of a genuine person, showed huge emotional intelligence, funny, he was really funny, kindness, empathy and he shone a huge light into the lives of people whose lives were in indescribable darkness.

I'm sure he doesn't always get it right (who does?) but there's a huge part of his, and other RF members, lives that do not make news, that means something to those they meet.

I think Charlotte and Louis will be brought up not as spares, but as supporters to their DB. I think Catherine especially will present it like working together in a family business. I also think they will be encouraged to marry 'normal' wealthy people, like Aunty Pippa and Uncle James and their father did.

They're disingenuous and full of vengeful spirits. It seems they thrive in the negative attention.

@minmooch that’s a lovely post 💐. However I don’t think people dislike H and M as people , it’s their behaviour. I haven’t met them so can’t say what they are like in person but their behaviour both reported and observed doesn’t endear me to them .
I have met Sophie and was very impressed . DH has met Andrew and thought he was an arrogant, obnoxious twat .

Harry is weak but behind the weakness he does possess a heart (or did). I don’t believe his wife does though. He’s too easily suggestible and would have walked whatever path his wife (any wife who’d have him) wanted. If she had wanted to move to Botswana, helping the wild animals and live away from any media he would have done that. If she had wanted to live in The Galapagos helping turtles, away from the spotlight, he would have done that. Instead she wanted cheap celebrity, media attention and revenge so that’s what he did. They were both over indulged and spoilt as children so there isn’t the balance of one keeping the other grounded. Both too full of their own self importance. Shame as I used to like Harry and despite how it’s all turned out, I don’t believe chasing celebrity in the US was the life he had been dreaming of.

Well said @minmooch . I think H&M are probably ok people, never met them. I think The problem is Meghan did not comprehend that she couldn’t continue as she was used to, she probably thought that they could use the royal link to make money, attend the gala dinners do a bit of work for the royals and the rest would be their own projects

. Turns out she can only dress a certain way, do certain activities, watch every word out of her mouth , every facial expression, do as she is told every single day for the rest of her life. She doesn’t understand monarchy, neither do I , but the starting point appears to be never complain never explain. So I get why she wanted out. Harry’s previous GFs, who understood what would be required, opted out! The problem is the only way Meghan is used to making money is what she is doing, and it’s not being well received so has a limited lifespan. Harry is taking her lead, as he has no idea either and his support system has gone.

I just think the spares in the RF need a LOT more support in building a life… because the country won’t stand for paying for every royals lifestyle. let’s be honest Edward and Sophie made mistakes, unfortunately not sure H&M will accept the help now, so it’s going to be a shit show instead

I don't know H&M so I can't like or dislike them. But what I don't like is their bully like attitude. If it was a work colleague or friend who publicly slated an organisation and then expected to be welcomed back with open arms, they'd be called out in their behaviour. The same with publicly saying you don't want to be on SM, and then posting on SM and making money from it. It's all double standards.I understand the need to try to control what's posted about you, and I guess that's what they are trying to do with the documentary and interviews, but you can't take money for appearing in public, and then complain when people take about you.

The trailer for Netflix publicly insinuates Kate as a hard faced individual with no background to the photo, surely that's bullying behaviour. I've never once heard Kate bad mouth Harry or Meghan .

I think Charlotte will be fine as a “spare” partly as she is female rather than male. Men seem to have a harder time not being too dog and people in general seem to care about this more. Louis is 3rd child and not “spare” and so will also be more accepting of his role in life. Plus he has a sensible mother and sensible non royal/ aristocratic grandparents who will hopefully teach him that being royal is a privilege and not a right . An education I don’t think Harry got from his mum or dad.

Top dog not too dog

I don’t think being the spare did princes Margaret much good. Her behaviour was less outrageous than that of her male relatives, but despite living what looked from the outside to be an amazing life, I’m not convinced she was ever very content

There they go, ‘flouncing’ again.

Harry was 19, it was almost two decades ago and he has apologised

No he hasn't

A spokesman issued a statement which Harry may or may not have agreed with, but there's been nothing from him personally, nor have there been any obvious consequences of the type which would be called for with anyone else

I think having 3 children was a wise move by W and K. It’s means Charlotte and Louis have someone else in their position as sibling of a future monarch. If Margaret or Harry had another sister or brother might they both have been happier? Clearly we will never know but I think yes.

I can’t imagine Harry writing a book called spare if he had a younger brother to say eh mate, you had it better than I did, I was the Spare’s spare!
and a sister saying well I wasn’t considered a spare at all so you can both think yourselves lucky!
might have given Harry some insight and perspective

The people who are trying to "hold harry accountable" are not saying the same about any other member of the royal family. That tells us all we need to know about your intentions. It's one sided. It's singling. And has nothing to do with holding anyone to account.

You seem to have a lot of ire for a couple who you don't know, who don't know you and probably couldn't give a toss what you think. You don't need to like them, less so 'trust' them. You need to find hobbies that give you fulfilment. Then maybe you'll be able to move on with your life.

What rot ,

If being 'royal' was a privilege , Charles wouldn't have had to add even more of his useless family to the list of counsellors of state , in order to make it slightly less likely that Andrew could be called on to stand in!
Andrew , the sex offenders close friend , remains a royal by 'right'- and clearly can do whatever he bloody wants, avoid the FBI questions AND remain 'royal'

Get rid of the bloody lot .
Royalists can still go and wave at them - so don't panic if you need a fairly tale to cling to . Just get 'windsors 'away from state funds and the seat of democracy

What would you call it ?