Harry and Meghan -- Why I dislike them BOTH

[PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog]

I keep seeing threads that say everyone who dislikes the Sussexs is based on some form of racism and I wanted to put my view across. I will set the parameters of my points:

1. Meghan absolutely did receive racist coverage from sections of the British media.

1. I believe that there were threats to their safety by far right loons.
2. I believe they were both unhappy as working members of the RF

However...

I still find them both very disingenuous. They highlight and speak up against the racism of others, whilst failing to address Harry's previous and documented racist behaviour. As a Jew I cannot understand how Meghan can just remain silent about her husbands former mistakes. This makes her seem untrustworthy to me and seems like she will put up with anything for money and cache, whilst arguing (rightly) that racism is totally unacceptable. He keeps saying others need to learn and he is right, but he should acknowledge that he too needed to learn, acknowledge the support needed to help others learn and offer that support to others (including his own family, if needed).

Their attitude towards the public also seems 'off' and ungrateful to me and they seem to collocate the press and the public as the same thing. There is a lot of footage of the public support for them before, during and after their wedding. Yet, apparently, they did not want the big public wedding and the 'UK' was racist towards them. Harry particularly understands the 'deal' between the monarchy and the public and ought to have explained this to Meghan, the comments re the wedding on Oprah came across as quite spiteful and tone deaf. Almost like, 'we suffered through the big wedding for the plebs.' Ditto all the strange behaviour around Archie's birth. They could have followed the Tindall's approach if they wanted to avoid press intrusion.

During financial pressures around the world they are still complaining and not acknowledging their wealth and privilege, whilst claiming to give voice to the needs of those living in poverty and suffering. The Africa interview was a prime example for both of them. It just all comes together to make them feel untrustworthy to me, and makes me dislike them. I do not wish them any ill, but I wish they would acknowledge their fortune and live private, useful lives.

Perhaps they were wronged , and yes some of it could have been racist. But Harry decided to step away from the limelight / UK /protect his wife / different lifestyle for children etc.
So why haven't they done that ? They could quietly go about their business , slip in & out of the UK to visit the family.
I feel we will be forever on this bandwagon until something awful/ major will happen and then watch the shit hit the fan then.

It doesn't necessarily mean a comment wasn't made, Sparklypant, but as with so much else they claim, the inconsistencies are bound to cast doubt on their accounts

So does the scattergun, no-name nature of the accusation, but I expect this was considered to have more potential than telling it straight
As said so often, I only hope they developed a consistent story before any questions from the palace about this, because I doubt more trash about "our truth" would have washed with the professionals

Thank you for posting my full comment.

It is an absolute fact that the predominantly white women posters on Mumsnet have exhibited a curious obsession with Meghan, an obsession repeated over countless threads over five years.

Under my real name, I wrote to @MNHQ in 2017, after the relationship was announced, to express concern over the racial undertone to many of the posts about Meghan. I warned them the site was in danger of attracting Meghan hatred from racists. This was in 2017.

Mumsnet did nothing for a long time, which only encouraged it, then they closed Meghan threads for a while but reopened them.

I called it then, before she even married Harry, and I make no apology for my fascination with this obsession. And yes, I believe there is a racial base to it. And I make no apology over that.

Particularly when some of the same Meghan Bashers tend to be the ones defending Susan Hussey while damning Ngozi Fulani for changing the name she inherited from the slave master who owned her ancestors, all in defence of a family that changed its name from Saxe-Coburg-Gotha to Windsor.

You really can't make this stuff up.

If I tried to do a Why I like Meghan thread, it is run over by bullying within minutes.

If I ever did a Why I dislike Kate and William thread, which I would never do, it would likewise be overrun my Meghan bashers.

Yet this thread, actively encouraging hatred is allowed to stand.

It's racism, and it is not even subtle.

Yes, double shot. We have no reason to be critical of Meghan or Kate. We don’t even know them. And I think both are just trying to make their lives work. When it comes to Meghan , so many people I respect say they genuinely like her - eg Gloria Steinem, Oprah Winfrey, Trevor Noah.

No one said a comment wasn’t made? Did you see that somewhere? I for one totally believe it was said. But It’s a big difference making a jokey stupid comment when they have just started dating to seriously questioning it when she is pregnant, both shit, but as said before intent is key. No way Meghan didn’t know the truth of when it was actually said and how.

and this is their issue, so much of what they say or do is questionable. Like we got married the day before, or using images in their trailer that isn’t what it’s portrayed as, it looses them credibility . Then when you see them going on about the pressure women marrying in face, whilst at rhe same time going after Kate publicly , their credibility sinks even lower.

I note you didn’t engage with my post, just posted more hyperbole

Yet this thread, actively encouraging hatred is allowed to stand.

please show where there has been ‘hatred’ left unchallenged on this thread?

yes, much of the negative response to MM has undoubtedly been fuelled by racism

yes, she has also behaved like a dick, and being a woman of colour does not mean people can’t notice and talk about that

do you think your scattergun ERMAGOD RACIST WHITE WOMEN sctick about anyone who wants to discuss her behaviour helps anything in any way?

nuance

i highly recommend it

It’s a big difference making a jokey stupid comment when they have just started dating to seriously questioning it when she is pregnant

I really don’t see the difference at all

in both cases it is gross racism.

For me what was,striking, was the fact that she said it happened while she was pregnant and she used plurality implying it happened several times. But he came on and said it was on one occasion before they were married.
They can't both be telling the truth. One of them must be lying.

I think when someone has been shitty to you, and let’s be clear, worrying that your children might not have the ‘correct’ skin colour is unbelievably fucking shitty, what stays with you is the shittiness. The details are likely to melt away a little in your mind compared to the drama. (Particularly if you like drama)

which is to say I have no doubt that a member of the RF or a hanger on said it, and I think that’s the story, not H & M getting tangled up over the details

@BernardBlacksMolluscs

I disagree, I’ve had a few unpleasant encounters in my life and I could still describe the smallest details about the encounters ( for example a hotel receptionist made an ignorant comment about Dd when she was a baby so quite similar in context)

They were addressing ‘the court of public opinion’ by going on Oprah.
They couldn’t get their stories straight which makes them sound like liars , if you’re going to make incendiary accusations, it’s rather stupid to not even have your facts straight before giving conflicting accounts on the same interview

I have always been shocked about that.

Harry claims it was said to him at the beginning of their relationship, but he didn't tell her this until she was actually pregnant , because that's how she recounted it, that during her pregnancy Harry told her there had been discussions about their baby's skin colour. Oprah even asked her, 'they said this to you"; and she replied 'No, to Harry' and then Harry clarifies that it was said at the beginning of their relationship and not during her pregnancy.

You have to ask yourself what kind of a dope is he, his wife is pregnant with their first child, she is struggling mentally and even says she feels suicidal , claims racism from every corner and he decides to announce it to her then, years later. So much for an empathetic, caring and loving husband.

Fair enough, and I’m sorry to hear someone was rude about your daughter

Ah, that makes sense. Like I say, I have no doubt whatsoever that it was said. And in my view (your mileage may vary), that far outweighs any perceived inconsistencies in their story

@BernardBlacksMolluscs

I remember thinking I would complain to the manager but then thought it was thoughtless rather than malicious if that makes sense, so I decided not to say anything.

People can sometimes say thoughtless things, I know I’ve done it and while I’ve apologised to the person I’ve also felt really bad afterwards. Sometimes the wrong words just come out.

It's racism, and it is not even subtle.

Yes it is and is also “whataboutery” and doubling down to distract from your own assumptions in an anonymous forum of poster’s skin colour and gender when they are called out.

Its not legitimate for you to be racist and misogynistic to anyone regardless of their skin colour or gender.

But making serious accusations, I would expect someone to have thought about or practised what they were going to say, serious accusations don’t just ‘slip out’ in a pre-recorded interview.

Perhaps the inconsistency was left in as Oprah found it rather puzzling too.

I had a lot of sympathy for her during that interview in S. Africa, to me she looked like someone struggling with PND, particularly her comment that 'no one asks me how I am''.

Despite my sympathy for her, at that time, I did cringe at her saying 'it's not enough to survive, you got to thrive, right !'

I’m bloody glad there are no television interviews with me when my DS1 was 4 months old. I was a miserable, self centred mess

I often wonder if the thing that scares the RF most about MM is that she is the smartest, academically, in the family imo.

What about C and W ? Both received degrees from St Andrews - a well regarded University. Or Beatrice or Eugenie ?

No one said a comment wasn’t made? Did you see that somewhere?

Yes, I've seen it - even on here, though the worst comments of this type are rightly deleted

Personally I can quite believe a comment was made by someone in this ghastly family, but what exactly it was, when, and most especially by who isn't known, because H&M couldn't get their story straight even in a high profile interview they must surely have prepared for, which to me seemed a shame

I will say I think it’s very wrong they are on a private plane going to accept an award for that comment.
How can you win an award for raising awareness of racism or whatever they’re winning it for, when their reports of the incident are inconsistent and they’ve allowed everyone in the family to be tarnished now.

You see it here, it doesn’t matter anymore who said it ‘because the whole family is clearly racist anyway’
Except of course from the verified racist Harry who has managed to grow and learn apparently all the while never publicly acknowledging it.

To me, that’s the worst thing they’ve done, it’s really really awful.

I've wondered about the whole Kate made me cry thing with the bridesmaids dresses. Doing interviews 4 months post partum on a tour -not easy I'm sure.However Louie was not even a month old and Kate must have been knackered too.Add Meghan as a bride to be.It's easy to see tensions could be high.It was the way MM dropped that little bomb in the OW interview that I thought was a low blow.And now approaching the season of goodwill ?I'm no devout Christian but the Queen was.Her faith was hugely important as was forgiveness I guess.And Harry always stressed how much he admired and respected her.
I don't despise H and M.I don't personally know them.But I don't like the way they have made all this sensational fuss for commercial gain.And forgenuinely feel sorry for Charles and William and family missing the Queen at Xmas.The first Xmas without my lovely in laws was very sad for all of us.

Do the people that are so incensed by what they see as outright lying from MM feel the same way about the made up stories about them in the media? Just while on the subject of hypocrisy etc.

I think that people with strong opinions on these two do need to get themselves some perspective. I've never know such vitriol towards two people and I find it puzzling when there are people who are much more deserving of that who are completely in the clear.