Page 26 | Member of Household resigns

myrtleWilson · 2022-11-30T12:42:48+00:00

Awful story just broken on twitter about horrendous racist questioning from Lady Hussey to Ngozi Fulani from Sister Space at yesterdays VAWG event. Lady Hussey has resigned. [Edited by MNHQ to correct typo at OP's request]

KatMcBundleFace · 30/11/2022 20:02

I'm sure saying "that's a nice outfit " wouldn't have been a good idea either.

milti · 30/11/2022 20:02

Disgusting comment from Hussey - ignorant woman

LadyKenya · 30/11/2022 20:03

I know @antelopevalley . I hope that there will be people out there reading these threads who have no understanding of the different forms of how racism presents, will learn about it, and call it out when it presents itself around them. The same way we hope that men will call out sexism.

antelopevalley · 30/11/2022 20:04

@LadyKenya Good point. I no longer have the patience for it.

TooBigForMyBoots · 30/11/2022 20:07

Offensive, racist and unwelcoming is how one eyewitness described the conversation. Another witness said she felt a sense of incredulity at the exchange. The Palace have investigated and stated that unacceptable and deeply regrettable comments have been made.

So no, I don't think most people would shrug it off. Because it was racist and black women should not have to endure it.

siyanasaysrelax · 30/11/2022 20:08

LondonWolf · 30/11/2022 19:51

Well yes. This is probably best because in the current climate you never know whether people will find this offensive or not. Opinions seem to vary hugely. I will say however I am seeing multiple people of colour on social media right now who are skeptical of the person making this complaint and questioning her motives. I'm afraid when it comes to matters around race the only people whose views I am interested in are actual POC, not competitively outraged white women on MN who seem to be making most of the noise. Yet it's difficult to know what to think when even their views wary so widely.

I asked a question on here once, of a WOC, who had said she found white people too nosy and into her business so when asked at work how her weekend had gone she would reply she hadn't done anything much to hold off what she felt were intrusive, questions. I am white and always ask my colleagues of all backgrounds how their weekends were, so I asked genuinely and politely if I was being intrusive without realising it and would she and perhaps my colleagues prefer to not be asked anything at all about personal lives. She ignored me. So I am still none the wiser. Surely if I am more formal with my colleagues who are WOC than with my white colleagues that could be construed as racism or othering in some way? It's very hard to know what is or isn't it acceptable as it seems to vary from person to person, which of course makes perfect sense. Therefore I shall carry on as I did before until someone tells me I am being offensive. It's never happened up till now but I will remain alert

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Why don't you just forget about skin colour and treat people like, well, people? POC can be extrovert/introvert, friendly/unfriendly. We're not one homogeous mass.

I guarantee you that 90% of POC would not have a problem with a genuine, curiosity led discussion about heritage. No need to tie yourself up in knots over this.

GreensForMe · 30/11/2022 20:09

It is not possible to have "a bit of peace and love" when the subject is racism.

Indeed. Strange wording by MN

Yeah, once a minor small talk starter is now a minefield.
This is true. So many of us have family living all over the globe and today more people than ever have parents form different cultures and ethnicities. It is incredibly rude and ignorant to press people on where they are from as for many it's a complex answer and the need to belong is a fundamental human feature, no-one wants to feel bothered, especially not in their own home country. To insist on an answer is very aggressive. This is where 'be kind, considerate and respectful' really does apply.

LondonWolf · 30/11/2022 20:09

Why don't you just forget about skin colour and treat people like, well, people? POC can be extrovert/introvert, friendly/unfriendly. We're not one homogeous mass.

Isn't that what I said in my post? 😊

itsnotmeitisactuallyyou · 30/11/2022 20:10

Canthave2manycats · 30/11/2022 15:31

Exactly! All she had to say was, "British born and bred and my heritage is..." - job done without all the trauma! Isn't she proud of where her family came from?

I think people need to remember as well - this is an elderly lady, 83, brought up in a very different culture. Doesn't make her racist?? When you've lived most of your life in an era where your every word wasn't dissected for perceived slights, these PC times must be a challenge. I feel sorry for Lady Susan - I mean, headline news, elderly lady opens her mouth and puts her foot right in it. She must be traumatised too, by the attention this has brought to her and the embarrassment to the RF, as the hysterical go, "oh this just proves they are racist, doesn't it?"

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So she is 83 thats the excuse for her ,she was racist all her life and should go to her grave a racist,wow!what difficult PC times we live in having to watch what we say to people of colour

GreensForMe · 30/11/2022 20:10

wants to feel othered, clearly autocorrect needs to catch up

siyanasaysrelax · 30/11/2022 20:11

LondonWolf · 30/11/2022 20:09

Why don't you just forget about skin colour and treat people like, well, people? POC can be extrovert/introvert, friendly/unfriendly. We're not one homogeous mass.

Isn't that what I said in my post? 😊

Why was there a need to bring skin colour into your post at all?

TooBigForMyBoots · 30/11/2022 20:11

@LondonWolf, why are you taking skeptical internet people's view of this rather than NF's, the people who were there and the results of the Palace investigation?

The views that you are reading, are they from people who were there?

LondonWolf · 30/11/2022 20:15

Why was there a need to bring skin colour into your post at all?

Because that is what the thread is about.

why are you taking skeptical internet people's view of this rather than NF's, the people who were there and the results of the Palace investigation?

I'm not. But I could also ask why i or anyone else on MN is supposed to take anyone on here's view on these matters either then?

ColadhSamh · 30/11/2022 20:18

MrsMaxDeWinter · 30/11/2022 19:41

No.

It is not possible to have "a bit of peace and love" when the subject is racism.

You are probably going to pull this thread, but it would not only be a shameful act of censorship to do so, but spectacular gaslighting of the many posters, who, over the years, who have tried to talk about racism on these threads in the context of the Royal Family, with many posts deleted.

What is needed is not "a bit of peace and love", but a hard hitting conversation about race.

Which this is.

And all views matter, even the most abhorrent.

Just listen to Chimamanda Adichie's spectacular Reith lecture today. We cannot retreat to positions of comfort on such important societal matters as racism in the Royal Family. Enough is enough.

Air and sunlight are what is needed. Not peace and love.

Thank you.

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Well said @MrsMaxDeWinter @LilyMumsnet why would you even think of appeasing the racists on here by removing this thread? This is what some of them want. Just remove the relevant posts. There have been some very informative posts throughout this discussion. Let it remain.

GreensForMe · 30/11/2022 20:18

@Canthave2manycats

Exactly! All she had to say was, "British born and bred and my heritage is..." - job done without all the trauma! Isn't she proud of where her family came from?

Are you genuinely asking this question? Do you know that the majority of Jamaica's population are descendants of enslaved Africans? Even if she is proud of her grandparents, her background and history are complex and sensitive.

this is an elderly lady, 83, brought up in a very different culture.
As a pp mentioned, would you say the same about a 83 year old man touching up you or your dd if you have one?

I feel sorry for Lady Susan - I mean, headline news, elderly lady opens her mouth and puts her foot right in it.
She has been with the queen for 60 years and clearly felt entitled to be a rude and pushy host. Not just rude and pushy but racist too. It reflect very badly on both Queens and the rest of the RF.

Luckily the wind is changing. As Kensington Palace states racism has no place in our society.

Canthave2manycats · 30/11/2022 20:20

F4chrissakes · 30/11/2022 18:38

I'm white and thus have no experience of being on the receiving end of racism. I once called someone out at work for a serious mistake, and the retort was that I "had it in " for the person because of the colour of their skin. I replied that I don't care if their skin is black, white or green, it was a stupid mistake and we don't want any repeat thanks. Am I a racist? Serious question. Because, whilst Lady H's questioning seems intrusive and rude, and certainly touching Ngozi was offensive, why was her interest in her background racist? Ngozi was dressed in what I would say was an exotic African way, and the pictures I've seen show other ladies dressed rather more sedately; I'd have been interested in her background too.

Now, that provides some context...

TooBigForMyBoots · 30/11/2022 20:20

LondonWolf · 30/11/2022 20:15

Why was there a need to bring skin colour into your post at all?

Because that is what the thread is about.

why are you taking skeptical internet people's view of this rather than NF's, the people who were there and the results of the Palace investigation?

I'm not. But I could also ask why i or anyone else on MN is supposed to take anyone on here's view on these matters either then?

So you accept that Lady SH was racist to NF?

siyanasaysrelax · 30/11/2022 20:20

LondonWolf · 30/11/2022 20:15

Why was there a need to bring skin colour into your post at all?

Because that is what the thread is about.

why are you taking skeptical internet people's view of this rather than NF's, the people who were there and the results of the Palace investigation?

I'm not. But I could also ask why i or anyone else on MN is supposed to take anyone on here's view on these matters either then?

I'm sorry to labour the point, but what was the point you were trying to make with your story about asking what someone did at the weekend? I also still don't understand why the colour of someone's skin has any bearing on your anecdote at all.

LadyKenya · 30/11/2022 20:21

Racism has no place in our society. Statement from Kensington Palace. Hopefully this will confirm for the hard of comprehending, that the said incident did indeed take place.

GreensForMe · 30/11/2022 20:27

@Canthave2manycats

Now, that provides some context...

Doesn't it just? Ngozi must have triggered Lady Susan's innate racism by dressing in an exotic way 😂Lady Susan just couldn't help herself looking at all that exotic attire, if only Ngozi had been modest and dressed in a Western way LS would still be able to serve in the royal household. What a meany Ngozi was.

TheTantrumoftheToddlerIsThere · 30/11/2022 20:29

Update from a royal source in regards to earlier reports in which Ngozi Fulani claimed she hasn’t received any contact from Buckingham Palace. Royal source says Buckingham Palace reached out to one of the organisations Ms Fulani is aligned with and hope to work with her when she is ready so they can express their apologies in person.

Pallisers · 30/11/2022 20:30

Ngozi was dressed in what I would say was an exotic African way, and the pictures I've seen show other ladies dressed rather more sedately

There is an awful lot to gape at aghast on this thread but this one really stands out.

LondonWolf · 30/11/2022 20:31

I'm sorry to labour the point, but what was the point you were trying to make with your story about asking what someone did at the weekend? I also still don't understand why the colour of someone's skin has any bearing on your anecdote at all.

That views vary from person to person and what one POC finds offensive another will not. The person who took issue with being asked what she did at the weekend, blamed it on the people asking being white - they're nosy and intrusive apparently and she feels she must hide what she does to protect herself from that. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable so asked if she'd prefer to never be asked but she ignored me. Made me wonder if I was making my colleagues uncomfortable. Genuinely surprised you can't see why colour of someone's skin is relevant in that anecdote. I was responding to someone who said she wouldn't ask questions about people's background anymore. I thought it was similar. Maybe go back and reread the posts and what I responded to and it might become clearer to you.

I'm not sure if you're trying to find something offensive in my posts tbh? Are you?

F4chrissakes · 30/11/2022 20:34

"Canthave2manycats

Now, that provides some context...

Doesn't it just? Ngozi must have triggered Lady Susan's innate racism by dressing in an exotic way 😂Lady Susan just couldn't help herself looking at all that exotic attire, if only Ngozi had been modest and dressed in a Western way LS would still be able to serve in the royal household. What a meany Ngozi was"

Oh dear. I am now genuinely afraid of inadvertently causing offence should I ever speak to a person who is not an exact copy of myself. And if I don't, I'm guessing that will cause offence too.

LadyKenya · 30/11/2022 20:34

Pallisers · 30/11/2022 20:30

Ngozi was dressed in what I would say was an exotic African way, and the pictures I've seen show other ladies dressed rather more sedately

There is an awful lot to gape at aghast on this thread but this one really stands out.

Yeah it was her fault because of how she was dressed, how she wore her hair, the Jewellery she may, or may not have been wearing yada, yada.