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The royal family

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Original poster

A positive and non-bashing thread about Meghan and Harry

1000 replies

MrsMaxDeWinter · 06/09/2022 07:40

I have rejoined Mumsnet after leaving a few times. The first time I left was because I was concerned about the coverage and uncomfortable undertone of the commentary on Meghan Markle after the engagement was announced, before she had said a word, and before she had married into the Royal Family.

I came back around the time she and Harry left the UK, to be stunned by the pages and pages upon pages of virulent threads. At that time Mumsnet actually banned all threads about Meghan, it had become so toxic.

They have now made their lives in Montecito, but still the virulence continues. Yes, she speaks in a mix of therapy plus corporate gobbledegook, yes, she is occasionally vapid and irritating.

But who is she actually harming that she deserves all this virulence?

Yesterday, when the new UK Prime Minister was elected, the coverage in the Super Tory Daily Mail was all about a seven minute speech to a bunch of young people. Article after article after article. Body language experts. Counting the number of times she said "I" in a speech in which she sought to inspire young people by attempting to relate to them. Before that, 18 articles were devoted to the first podcast by the Daily Mail alone. 18!

Same with her podcasts. The series is about HER and HER take on labels, and she discusses HER take with HER guests.

It's all very anodyne, even vanilla. It does not deserve any of the vitriol sent her way.

SO:

As the next twelve weeks are going to be wall to wall Meghan, and the Meghan haters and detractors have several threads here that fill up rapidly with bile, scorn and mockery, I have started this thread, reminiscent of previous " positive" threads, to talk about what some of us like, enjoy, find amusing and even (gasp) admire, in the next few Meghan rich weeks.

If you don't have anything positive to say, that's okay, you can keep to the existing threads.

Looking forward to a bile-free discussion of everything Meghan!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
24
LondonWolf · 10/09/2022 08:26

SeaSwimming22 · 10/09/2022 08:25

It absolutely would not have been appropriate for MM to go to Balmoral, and I think H needs to take the blame for messing this up and making her look bad again. When my MIL was on her deathbed all of her children rushed to be at her side, but none of us spouses felt it appropriate (nor indeed necessary) to intrude and we stayed at home. This was the time for her own children to say their private goodbyes and to be together as the original family unit. Similarly with my side of the family, at moments like this no one wants “outsiders”, no matter how long they have been part of the family and no matter how very much loved they are under normal circumstances. It is absolutely not a reflection on the people involved. It’s a very particular and private time for families. I think of it as the drawbridges going up, just for a time. And this is notwithstanding any other undercurrents or estrangement, which would only make things worse.

Incidentally I just can’t quite believe the narrative that H cannot cope without his wife “for support” by his side for a few hours. He is an adult for goodness sake. But in any case the solution is not to upset his family by bending the “rules” for himself. If such a situation played out in my family we would all feel uncomfortable and frankly, unhappy. And emotions are already heightened at a time like this. Hopefully things will settle down now and if something good could come out of this sad situation, like a genuine reconciliation, it would be so much better for everyone.

Agree with all this.

Ohnonevermind · 10/09/2022 08:30

PA loved his mother and she loved him. KC will not allow him back into public life but he will be allowed to mourn

(I’d written PC but had to change it)

10 days is a long time to stay away from the children so perhaps the Sussex’s will fly home for a bit. It’s hard to know what the right thing is

Hiphophippityskip1 · 10/09/2022 08:30

Maybe they can go and live there then when America has had enough!

Libertyqueen · 10/09/2022 08:31

LondonWolf · 10/09/2022 08:26

Agree with all this.

Show quote history

When my gran was dying, all the spouses came because they had known her for decades and loved her, also the ‘children’ wanted support. I don’t think how your family did it is universally the ‘right’ way. By luck my mum (her DIL) was actually with her when she died. No one thought that was odd and the ‘children’ said how glad they were she was with her. My mum had known and loved her for over 50years.

Roussette · 10/09/2022 08:32

Readinginthesun · 10/09/2022 08:19

I for one will not consider it a snub if M doesn’t attend . I think it would be the right decision.

Show quote history

You sound level headed and you won't, that's good
There was be an outpouring of outrage about it, both here and elsewhere though. It would range from....
I knew it, Charles has banned her from attending
The Queen expressly said on her deathbed she didn't want Meghan at her funeral
She's flown home, she cares nothing about the RF
How dare she snub the Queen
Harry and Meghan are splitting up, she couldn't even support him

And so on....
So, despite your level headedness, that's what it will be like, because I'm sure you agree, she cannot do a thing right. Whatever she does, she will be attacked and in the press.

Look at the jubilee, she was totally low key and I thought no one on MN can possibly criticise her for how she was but no...she wound a car window down and was attention seeking

Roussette · 10/09/2022 08:33

She will be attacked here and in the press, that should tead

Festoonlights · 10/09/2022 08:34

According to some sources Harry was held up because Meghan was insisting she had to be by Harry’s side.
I think she/they have created a co dependent relationship - and they were in London, so only a few hours from balmoral. 8pm Harry arrived. A staggering 8 hours later. It looked disrespectful.
Even I could have made it up there sooner, as a normal person.
It is this insufferable insistence that Harry and Meghan constantly want to be a ‘special case’ That nothing applies to them, it must be very grating for the family especially given the grave situation.

The brothers are not on speaking terms so he was never going to travel up together.

Original poster
MrsMaxDeWinter · 10/09/2022 08:34

One thing I learned that I found amusing was that the Queen started her day at 0900, having risen at 0800. By then Meghan, an early riser, would have put in at least 2 hours of work. No wonder she drove the aides and staff crazy!!

OP posts:
MaulPerton · 10/09/2022 08:34

Festoonlights · 10/09/2022 08:26

This will be the end of the line for Harry. I suspect he knows it too looking at his face.

There will be no further need to visit the. U.K. to pop in to see beloved granny any longer - whilst simultaneously selling her out.

The funeral will be the last time we will see him for a very long time. He will be persona non grata going forward. Harry’s betrayal of his family is of the magnitude he is yet to acknowledge actually overshadowed and ruined the Queens last days, and he will have to live with that knowledge now. His family are in reality unlikely to ever forgive him for it.

On a personal level I feel sorry for Harry, and the last days of royal life for him. I hope he has a good plan that doesn’t depend on any royal connections because that is will now be truly severed after this. He had his chance to make amends and choose not to,

All of this. The penny is dropping for him, I believe. The 'last in, first out' at Balmoral says it all as do many other signs. H's fate really highlights the benefits of having good mentors and advisors around you as you go through life.

Novella4 · 10/09/2022 08:37

Like Andrew had?

YoniWheretheSunDontShine · 10/09/2022 08:38

Festoon I see it the other way around.

It was inevitable that things would end like this without emotional intelligence from the royals toward Harry.

Harry's family have let him down.

Roussette · 10/09/2022 08:40

Novella4 · 10/09/2022 08:37

Like Andrew had?

😂😂

He used to tell them to fuck off and that he was only answerable to the Queen

Well....that ship has sailed, Andrew. You can't hide behind your Mother any more

Kellie45 · 10/09/2022 08:40

susan12345678 · 10/09/2022 08:23

If you believe a rag like the Daily Mail, more fool you!

It's not just the DM, all the broadsheets are reporting the same thing.

They don’t actually. They report that William as the heir was summoned and that Andrew, Anne and Edward went with him. Harry was not with them so had to catch a later flight.

RandomPenguinHouse · 10/09/2022 08:41

Samcro · 10/09/2022 08:07

what I found awful was PW driving PA whilst PH made his own way. what ever the reasons for PH traveling separately the optics of seeing PA back in the fold like that was shocking.
whatever PH has done its not on par with PA. telling that A seems to be accepted back.

I raised my eyebrow at that photo but it’s appropriate Andrew went to see his mother and more efficient all round if he travelled with the other royals. Whatever the royals’ personal feelings, he is a member of their family that has to be included here as the Queen’s son who she was still close to.

We don’t know why Harry wasn’t in the vehicle with them.

He might not have been invited because he and William have fallen out.

He might not have been invited because of security reasons.

He might not have been invited because it’s not protocol given he wasn’t the queen’s child (or daughter equivalent like Sophie) or the heir like William.

He may have been invited but It might not have been practical for him to travel with them.

He may have been invited and intending to join but then got delayed.

m He may have been invited but declined.

Festoonlights · 10/09/2022 08:42

Yes agreed maul Pointedly choosing to arrive hours and hours late. The announcement to the nation was delayed as they waited for Harry, and the RF and BP tried to do the right thing.

To decide to be the first one to leave at 8am said it all. No words are needed.

It could have been so different for Harry - he was so central and integral in the family and yet he squandered all the good will, burnt his bridges in a blaze of glory and sold them to the highest bidder. With more to come.

I hope he at least delays his next stick of dynamite out of respect for the Queen.

Original poster
MrsMaxDeWinter · 10/09/2022 08:42

@Festoonlights is confusing Harry as a member of the Royal Family, and Harry as a working Royal.

It was already the end of the line for Harry as a working royal.

He remains on good terms with some members of the wider family, is estranged from his brother and father, and obviously is not fond of his step-mother.

He will return to the UK to attend charity events that are important to him and his wife. But his grandmother, his biggest link to his family is gone, so that will obviously affect how often he comes over.

I believe that the funeral will be the last time that he returns for a family related event, until he has to attend his father's funeral.

I don't think he will attend the coronation, in fact, for his and his wife's sake, I hope he doesn't.

So you will see him in the UK for family duty related suff, like funerals, but you won't see him for other Royal events, coronation, trooping the colour etc.

OP posts:
Roussette · 10/09/2022 08:44

Festoonlights · 10/09/2022 08:42

Yes agreed maul Pointedly choosing to arrive hours and hours late. The announcement to the nation was delayed as they waited for Harry, and the RF and BP tried to do the right thing.

To decide to be the first one to leave at 8am said it all. No words are needed.

It could have been so different for Harry - he was so central and integral in the family and yet he squandered all the good will, burnt his bridges in a blaze of glory and sold them to the highest bidder. With more to come.

I hope he at least delays his next stick of dynamite out of respect for the Queen.

That's your take on it.
Just hearsay

Kellie45 has got it right, a simple explanation

Ohnonevermind · 10/09/2022 08:46

We don’t know anything really. The only thing seems to be that Harry’s relationship with his family remains strained.

KittyCatsby · 10/09/2022 08:46

@YoniWheretheSunDontShine

Yes totally agree that Andrew should be not in the public eye , nor brought back for any reason.

But , to say he should be on the back benches and hidden away at his mother's funeral is wicked. The Queen was his mother, repeat his mother.
The Mother that wanted him near her when a proper service for her much loved husband was not allowed due to the scaled back one that took place during covid because restrictions did not allow it.
He has the exact right , as a son who is mourning the loss as much as any family member , 100% more so than us lot who might watch from our tv's .

Festoonlights · 10/09/2022 08:47

YoniWheretheSunDontShine · 10/09/2022 08:38

Festoon I see it the other way around.

It was inevitable that things would end like this without emotional intelligence from the royals toward Harry.

Harry's family have let him down.

This isn’t about Harry.

This was about the death of the Queen.

The most important figurehead of our time certainly in the U.K. and perhaps the whole of the world.

Only Harry with his endless capacity of incredible levels of narcissism could make this about him

Samcro · 10/09/2022 08:48

so sad that this non story about M has become a thing.
I don't blame H if he wanted her with him, everyone deals with grief differently and needs different support.
but rather than run with why was A front and centre once again H&M get thrown under the bus.
hopefully their children will be prince and princess and use the titles.

SeaSwimming22 · 10/09/2022 08:48

Libertyqueen · 10/09/2022 08:31

When my gran was dying, all the spouses came because they had known her for decades and loved her, also the ‘children’ wanted support. I don’t think how your family did it is universally the ‘right’ way. By luck my mum (her DIL) was actually with her when she died. No one thought that was odd and the ‘children’ said how glad they were she was with her. My mum had known and loved her for over 50years.

Show quote history

It just goes to show all families are different, and in this (and only this!) aspect my family would be very similar to the RF. Also, 50 years is a lifetime and the short time MM has known the Queen, much of it living thousands of miles away, is not comparable. And as I said, this is notwithstanding everything we know about the breakdown in the relationships involved. I genuinely don’t think it is at all surprising that only close family were welcome, and surely no reasonable person would ever take offence at that, and it’s likely just the media stirring to create a negative impression.

Roussette · 10/09/2022 08:48

Ohnonevermind · 10/09/2022 08:46

We don’t know anything really. The only thing seems to be that Harry’s relationship with his family remains strained.

Exactly.
And unless you were listening to private phone calls, or in the room when arrangements were being made, no one can say Harry chose to do this or that. It's a stick to beat him with that's made up in someone's head because they despise him

LondonWolf · 10/09/2022 08:49

MrsMaxDeWinter · 10/09/2022 08:42

@Festoonlights is confusing Harry as a member of the Royal Family, and Harry as a working Royal.

It was already the end of the line for Harry as a working royal.

He remains on good terms with some members of the wider family, is estranged from his brother and father, and obviously is not fond of his step-mother.

He will return to the UK to attend charity events that are important to him and his wife. But his grandmother, his biggest link to his family is gone, so that will obviously affect how often he comes over.

I believe that the funeral will be the last time that he returns for a family related event, until he has to attend his father's funeral.

I don't think he will attend the coronation, in fact, for his and his wife's sake, I hope he doesn't.

So you will see him in the UK for family duty related suff, like funerals, but you won't see him for other Royal events, coronation, trooping the colour etc.

I hope it plays out as you describe, for all their and our sakes.

Festoonlights · 10/09/2022 08:49

Roussette · 10/09/2022 08:44

That's your take on it.
Just hearsay

Kellie45 has got it right, a simple explanation

Show quote history

No, it’s certainly not hearsay.
It is fact.

Harry was recorded walking in at 19.57
and left Balmoral at 08.02 the following day.

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