A positive and non-bashing thread about Meghan and Harry

[MrsMaxDeWinter]

I have rejoined Mumsnet after leaving a few times. The first time I left was because I was concerned about the coverage and uncomfortable undertone of the commentary on Meghan Markle after the engagement was announced, before she had said a word, and before she had married into the Royal Family.

I came back around the time she and Harry left the UK, to be stunned by the pages and pages upon pages of virulent threads. At that time Mumsnet actually banned all threads about Meghan, it had become so toxic.

They have now made their lives in Montecito, but still the virulence continues. Yes, she speaks in a mix of therapy plus corporate gobbledegook, yes, she is occasionally vapid and irritating.

But who is she actually harming that she deserves all this virulence?

Yesterday, when the new UK Prime Minister was elected, the coverage in the Super Tory Daily Mail was all about a seven minute speech to a bunch of young people. Article after article after article. Body language experts. Counting the number of times she said "I" in a speech in which she sought to inspire young people by attempting to relate to them. Before that, 18 articles were devoted to the first podcast by the Daily Mail alone. 18!

Same with her podcasts. The series is about HER and HER take on labels, and she discusses HER take with HER guests.

It's all very anodyne, even vanilla. It does not deserve any of the vitriol sent her way.

SO:

As the next twelve weeks are going to be wall to wall Meghan, and the Meghan haters and detractors have several threads here that fill up rapidly with bile, scorn and mockery, I have started this thread, reminiscent of previous " positive" threads, to talk about what some of us like, enjoy, find amusing and even (gasp) admire, in the next few Meghan rich weeks.

If you don't have anything positive to say, that's okay, you can keep to the existing threads.

Looking forward to a bile-free discussion of everything Meghan!

Roussette

I get that! It was the damn poppers!

You shouldn't have taken them; they'd be bound to make you a bit uncoordinated...

Readinginthesun

Did anyone ever have too much drink and couldn’t do up the poppers and end up with the “ tail” flapping around outside their jeans ? No ? Just me then …….

Oh no, not just you: it was pretty much a rite of passage at the time.
I always felt the blessed "tail" would curl up like a roller blind if I pulled it too hard.

I’ve noticed the slow build of narrative that Harry was the only one who didn’t make it when it seems neither did Andrew, Edward and William. Which is a shame

The Telegraph and Times have reported that the Queen's children, together with Sophie (whom the Queen regarded as a second daughter) were summoned to Balmoral in the late morning. Charles and Anne were already there.

Harry was not summoned, and nor were any other of the grandchildren (other than William, as heir).

Kate remained in Windsor - ostensibly to collect her children from school, but also perhaps out of sensitivity to the occasion and also, perhaps, to pre-empt any subsequent justification for Meghan to travel to Scotland.

Upon learning from the media that there were concerns about the Queen's health, Harry announced to his select sources that he and Meghan would be traveling to Balmoral - without consulting anyone in the palace or family first. Perhaps a bit like the statement of intentions for Megxit, telling the media to create a fait accompli that would be difficult to retract later without a public fuss.

Upon learning of H&M's plans (again via the media) the palace/Charles contacted Harry & told him it was best that Meghan stayed away.

Scobie then released another of his press releases, announcing that Meghan would be staying behind, 'like Catherine'. This seemed designed to imply that K & M were on a similar level - although in reality K, as future Queen herself, might have had some justification in traveling to Balmoral with William. I regard it as a testament to her grace and common sense that she remained behind, without fuss.

Finally: Charles mentioned his love for Harry and Meghan in his speech. I've absolutely no doubt he loves his son - and is probably despairing about the status quo, but this mention was unavoidable, and not an indication in my opinion of any peace gesture. He made no reference to their titles and his line about 'as they continue their lives overseas' seemed very pointed. It was as though they had been politely excused from the room.

I believe that the best thing Meghan can do now to limit further backlash and ill-feeling is to return to her children in California. Presumably, all the advisors will be pressing for her to do just that. If she remains, or attends the funeral, it will no doubt make several senior members of the RF extremely uncomfortable and create an unedifying sideshow at what should be an incredibly sombre state occasion, focused on the Queen's extraordinary life.

The Queen herself had said that she was 'relieved' when Meghan stayed away for Prince Phillip's funeral, so I suspect it's fairly clear what her wishes would have been.

Those of us with Meghan's and Harry's in our own families will know exactly how the RF feel.

You don't give up Susan do you?

A wife or husband is there to support their spouse in times like this. I remember how kind and supportive my DH was at such times. But you just make up stuff from the MSM who spread the clickbait hate about this couple with 'reportedly' and 'sources say'. No one knows unless you were in the room at the time.

As for 'their life overseas'... that is where they are. I presume you are calling Charles a liar and he wasn't expressing love for them at all. He was warm and meant it I'm sure. It's only the haters who will desperately try and find something in a warm speech to the nation to criticise.

@LaMarschallin
Do you know... I posted that whilst half asleep, went back and looked at what I'd posted and thought oh sh1t, I'm digging an even bigger hole for myself here!

The Daily Mail have written that Charles told Harry that Meghan should not come with him to Balmoral. If true, it can only have come from Charles's people, which strikes such a sour note after his warm and moving speech last night.

If true, how utterly crass of Harry and Meghan to have thought it would be appropriate for her to go to Balmoral after all that has gone on.

What about Harry?

He's clearly a deeply troubled man . How did he feel returningalone to the place where he was told he had lost his mother?
The Queen had clearly passed away so the older aunt's, uncles/ his own father didn't think perhaps his wife should be there to support him?
When he clearly has zero relationship with his family?
Personally I think Harry has a carte blanch card to do what he needs.

I'm guessing the working royals will be cancelling all planned engagements until afterwards, and he'll have to choose whether to follow suit or continue with his European itinerary

There was only 3 engagements and the last one was on the day the Queen died. It was WellChild and he has only missed attending in person once before, since 2007, because of Covid.

I think she looks amazing in white. It's by far the best "colour" for her. Whenever I like a look of hers, it is white she's wearing. I'm never sure whether we are supposed to use the word colour to describe white as it is the absence of colour really isn't it?

One thing I noted yesterday was footage of them meeting dignitaries in Düsseldorf where Harry completely has his back to her and is blocking the way while he meets them - I'm sure unintentional - but Meghan is just stood there like a spare part for an embarrassingly long time until she touches his back and he turns and includes her. I was face palming at it! It did make me think of all the times she's criticised for touching him in public and moving in for an intro or to join the chat, and if she needed to do this to get his attention as this was an annoying long term habit of his.

what I found awful was PW driving PA whilst PH made his own way. what ever the reasons for PH traveling separately the optics of seeing PA back in the fold like that was shocking.
whatever PH has done its not on par with PA. telling that A seems to be accepted back.

Samcro absolutely.

Samcro Yes, I agree strongly with that.

What do you think will happen with PA and the funeral? Will he be in the background?

I sort of agree but was it not more about HM’s children rushing to her side so they travelled together ? There would have been serious criticisms if even more planes had been used .
I am not sure we can deduce that A is back in the fold . I do hope not .

@Samcro
Spot on.
I have avoided talking about PA but I really hope this isn't an opportunity for him to ingratiate himself with the public again. I don't think so, because Anne, Edward and obviously Charles have spoken on TV since the Queen died, and he hasn't. That's the right move. His grabbing an opportunity after his father died caused a huge outcry.
I also have to bear in mind Andrew has lost a Mother and will be mourning

Also ( if reports are to be believed) there were disagreements behind the scenes about Meghan going to Balmoral so H was delayed.

I'm hope pa sits the longest vigil that there is... To repay his mother for her steadfast and dangerous support of him whilst facing down with characteristic arrogance the accusations.

I expect to see him from the moment the coffin appears and leave with it.
Then I expect to see him on back benches during the funeral and hidden away..his disgraceful conduct has lost him any central role and then I hope never to see him again.

The Queen herself had said that she was 'relieved' when Meghan stayed away for Prince Phillip's funeral, so I suspect it's fairly clear what her wishes would have been.

This is from Tom Bower's book, and has been denied by the Palace. If you insist nonetheless that it is true, it shows the Queen in a poor light namely as a small-minded person who was bizarrely focused on her granddaughter-in-law's absence, which was due to her being too pregnant to travel, by the way, instead of mourning her husband of many years.

If she remains, or attends the funeral, it will no doubt make several senior members of the RF extremely uncomfortable and create an unedifying sideshow

Why should she not attend, both for her husband and herself? From all accounts, she had a warm relationship with the Queen. Why should the fact that the media will make a sideshow of her presence be a factor? The new King has hired a former executive from the Daily Mail. Why not just use the tide of goodwill surrounding him him to communicate to the tabloids to not create a sideshow?

I am sure, like the Jubilee, everything will be choreographed for the whole family. so what do you imagine she will do? And if she does not attend, you and others will consider it a snub. She genuinely can't win.

Exactly . HM was his mother and obviously he will attend her funeral but then he can scuttle back to Royal lodge .

Even The Krays were allowed out of jail to attend their mother's funeral! It's his mum, he should be there, albeit quietly.

Then I expect to see him on back benches during the funeral and hidden away..his disgraceful conduct has lost him any central role and then I hope never to see him again. What you want is neither here nor there. He is the Queen's son.

I for one will not consider it a snub if M doesn’t attend . I think it would be the right decision.

If you believe a rag like the Daily Mail, more fool you!

Dexra! You're joking?
I really thought a sealed document would be instant transit delivering my instructions to the palace re pa?

If you believe a rag like the Daily Mail, more fool you!

It's not just the DM, all the broadsheets are reporting the same thing.

It absolutely would not have been appropriate for MM to go to Balmoral, and I think H needs to take the blame for messing this up and making her look bad again. When my MIL was on her deathbed all of her children rushed to be at her side, but none of us spouses felt it appropriate (nor indeed necessary) to intrude and we stayed at home. This was the time for her own children to say their private goodbyes and to be together as the original family unit. Similarly with my side of the family, at moments like this no one wants “outsiders”, no matter how long they have been part of the family and no matter how very much loved they are under normal circumstances. It is absolutely not a reflection on the people involved. It’s a very particular and private time for families. I think of it as the drawbridges going up, just for a time. And this is notwithstanding any other undercurrents or estrangement, which would only make things worse.

Incidentally I just can’t quite believe the narrative that H cannot cope without his wife “for support” by his side for a few hours. He is an adult for goodness sake. But in any case the solution is not to upset his family by bending the “rules” for himself. If such a situation played out in my family we would all feel uncomfortable and frankly, unhappy. And emotions are already heightened at a time like this. Hopefully things will settle down now and if something good could come out of this sad situation, like a genuine reconciliation, it would be so much better for everyone.

This will be the end of the line for Harry. I suspect he knows it too looking at his face.

There will be no further need to visit the. U.K. to pop in to see beloved granny any longer - whilst simultaneously selling her out.

The funeral will be the last time we will see him for a very long time. He will be persona non grata going forward. Harry’s betrayal of his family is of the magnitude he is yet to acknowledge actually overshadowed and ruined the Queens last days, and he will have to live with that knowledge now. His family are in reality unlikely to ever forgive him for it.

On a personal level I feel sorry for Harry, and the last days of royal life for him. I hope he has a good plan that doesn’t depend on any royal connections because that is will now be truly severed after this. He had his chance to make amends and choose not to,