This is what I don't understand. If I were attending that event, I would be pretty pissed off that all the attention was on Harry and Meghan and their entourage
I find it difficult to imagine too many of them would really feel that strongly about it - their event would not have got any of the global press coverage it received if it had been run without Meghan and Harry, and that must have made attendees feel a bit of a buzz around it. Equally, a. US military audience could be predicted to have a proportion of people in the audience who have little time for the ceremony attending British royals, and that certainly could have been taken into account in the planning.
I do think this is one of those events that falls into that ill-defined category of needing to be thoughtfully dressed for by the woman attending. We know it’s a given that Meghan’s attendance and appearance will get far more attention than Harry’s, just as a matter of course. And if you look at the actual official flier to the event, and the initial press coverage (below), it is clear that Prince Harry was the special guest, not the Sussexes together. Meghan was not mentioned at all in the initial announcements.
In those circumstances Meghan could well have considered it appropriate to dress down a bit, to ensure her husband was also a focus. Diana famously used to rewear dresses when she went to friends’ wedding, to make her outfit less likely to be focussed on in the coverage. Kate recently re-wore an 11 year old gown when accompanying William to the Earthshot prize giving. Notably, however, Meghan chose to wear a huge, bright red, low cut dress. (And don’t @ me to say other royals wouldn’t get criticised for this - Diana got criticism for debuting an updo at the State Opening of Parliament one year because that was the photo all the press put on their front page the next day, ignoring the Queen delivering the speech!).
support.intrepidmuseum.org/campaign/salute-to-freedom-gala-2021/c337622
etcanada.com/news/835552/prince-harry-to-present-special-service-awards-in-new-york/