Harry and Meghan statement on Afghanistan

[Mummyoflittledragon]

“The world is exceptionally fragile right now.
As we all feel the many layers of pain due to the situation in Afghanistan, we are left speechless.
As we all watch the growing humanitarian disaster in Haiti, snd the threat of it worsening after last weekend’s earthquake, we are left heartbroken.
And as we all witness the continuing global health crisis, exacerbated by the new variants and constant misinformation, we are left scared.
When any person or community suffers, a piece of each of us does so with them, whether we realise it or not. And though we are not meant to live in a state of suffering, we are as a people, being conditioned to accept it. It’s easy to find ourselves feeling powerless, but we can put our values into action - together.
To start, we encourage you to join us in supporting a number of organisations doing critical work. We also urge those in positions of global influence to rapidly advance the humanitarian dialogues that are expected to take place this fall at multilateral gatherings such as the U.N. General Assembly and the Leader’s Summit.
As an international community, it is the decisions we make now - to alleviate suffering among those we know and those we may never meet - that will prove our humanity.”

• THE DUKE AND DUCHESS OF SUFFOLK

H&M are being criticised for making this about them and for not calling out Biden, notably the FLOTUS is report as being a personal friend of H.

What do mumsnetters think?

Grateful for being abused and used as British media cannon fodder? Grateful for being abused by the institution? Are you kidding me?

What are the opportunities she should have been grateful for. Seems she has had more opportunities to do good for others and herself since leaving.

What opportunities? To smile through abuse and make herself available to hateful people to be torn to shreds?

I’m glad she did not grab hold with of these so-called opportunities.

Sometimes we look at jobs and other things and imagine how fantastic it would be to have them or experience them. Sometimes the reality is very different. When that happens what should we do? Put up and shut up?

No. We leave, but we should move on. Not keep whingeing publicly about what we have left. And pp says, not keep trying to hang on to the bits that seem more glamorous or advantageous to keep.

She is someone who did not have to rely on aristocracy to become independent wealthy
No but she was privately educated, from a wealthy background and in social circles with people in the industry she intended to go into. Her dad’s connections certainly gave her a leg up.

@Mummyoflittledragon

I wonder if the Yax enjoys being ravaged by the Yaxlayer.

Folks we are now on fantasy island.

And omg enslavement. Really? I find that comment really distasteful considering Meghan’s ethnicity.

You find enslavement distasteful because of Meghan’s ethnicity? It’s because of her ethnicity, the history of the Royal Family, and the questions about the colour of her son’s skin why it is absolutely appropriate.

What has been done to Meghan will not be erased from history. What the Royal Family represents to those who proclaim the superiority of their European sensibilities is clear and is the driving force behind the rejection and abuse she faced at the hands of the British press.

Enslavement is very apt and I used it for that reason. Meghan not knowing her place and her not being grateful for the opportunities (what these were are beyond me), not being deferential to the British public.

Britannia ruled the waves. The temerity of the decedent of an enslaved.

@smilesy

Sometimes we look at jobs and other things and imagine how fantastic it would be to have them or experience them. Sometimes the reality is very different. When that happens what should we do? Put up and shut up?

No. We leave, but we should move on. Not keep whingeing publicly about what we have left. And pp says, not keep trying to hang on to the bits that seem more glamorous or advantageous to keep.

And presumably in their shoes you would try to hang on to the bits that are not glamorous.

On the whingeing, do you mean exposing the abuse that they experienced? If that is whingeing then I beg them to keep doing so, do that the world can see what’s been going on. I pay taxes and I want to know.

Whinge away H&M. Do not hide the abuse and questions about the colour of your son’s skin. Expose the hypocrisy.

And presumably in their shoes you would try to hang on to the bits that are not glamorous

No. I would not. If something was that detrimental to my well being I would want to move on completely. And they are not trying to expose hypocrisy as you put it. If they were, why don’t they name the person who allegedly made the racist comments?

Our European sensibilities (I see you have latched on to what I said earlier about the differing tax systems in Europe and our view of personal wealth compared the US). The fact philanthropy in US is a rather bogus (to European eyes) way of giving to charity whilst enabling wealthy people to hang on to and grow immense personal wealth.

However, you quoted it earlier to me and repeating it again out of context here, so clearly don’t understand the intended context. The differing tax systems between US and Europe and their approaches to healthcare and how to support people out of work, their penal system etc fine if you think US has a great system, lots don’t.

that’s the ‘sensibilities’ I was referring too so go ahead and keep repeating it but you misunderstood what I said 😀 hugely.

Why2why
You are obviously very angry at the RF. I cannot imagine for a minute they think she should have known her place due to being (very possibly) the descendent of slaves. Harry and Meghan didn’t understand their position and standing within the hierarchy of a hierarchical family. Meghan should have been explained and fully understood this before marrying. This is very different and certainly not the same as knowing her place. I do not ascribe to your way of thinking. It is divisive when the family should be pulling together.

@Mummyoflittledragon

Why2why You are obviously very angry at the RF. I cannot imagine for a minute they think she should have known her place due to being (very possibly) the descendent of slaves. Harry and Meghan didn’t understand their position and standing within the hierarchy of a hierarchical family. Meghan should have been explained and fully understood this before marrying. This is very different and certainly not the same as knowing her place. I do not ascribe to your way of thinking. It is divisive when the family should be pulling together.

How is this different to knowing her place and the extra impact that her racial heritage would have had?

What kind of mindset do you think asks about the colour of a child’s skin?

I’m not angry at the Royal Family. My level of interest does not go that far but I do dislike the idea of the institution, the history, and me the PA issue and the way they treated Harry and Meghan, the fact the Queen dodges equality laws, etc.

Come to think of it, I should be angry. I should actually be outraged.

I’m very late to these H&M debates but I am glad I came across these threads. It is not right that I’ve just been going about my life with just curious interest at what’s going on. I should be more proactive about holding the Royal Family to account. I will do some research and find out how I can help in that regard, beyond expending energy on a forum.

I’m glad you pushed me to think about being angry at the RF. What’s that saying about bad things happen because good people stay silent. I pay taxes for goodness sake, I should care deeply about this.

If anyone knows about movements, etc that looks at shining a light on the RF as an institution let me know. As I type, I’m getting rather angry at it all. The whole thing is stupid. It’s founded on nonsense that no one believes.

Apologies, it’s not just because I pay taxes but I do also think, and primarily so, that the whole thing is immoral. So I care from an ethical and moral perspective. My thoughts are forming as I speak but I know it’s not just about me paying taxes.

@Why2why

Grateful for being abused and used as British media cannon fodder? Grateful for being abused by the institution? Are you kidding me?

What are the opportunities she should have been grateful for. Seems she has had more opportunities to do good for others and herself since leaving.

What opportunities? To smile through abuse and make herself available to hateful people to be torn to shreds?

I’m glad she did not grab hold with of these so-called opportunities.

Really? You seriously don’t think her marriage into the RF gave her massive opportunities? I’m speechless. She was a third rate actress near the end of her contract on a TV show which few had heard of before she married Harry. She married into huge wealth and privilege with everything taken care of. A beautiful house, (more than one), beautiful clothes, gorgeous holidays. Free schooling at top schools for her children. Private healthcare. Nannies. The opportunity to do tremendous good through charity work with staff to do the leg work for her. Staff to run her house, look after her child . A personal office. In return she was expected to be loyal, apolitical and tactful. She was expected to attend events, turn up to things and smile. That was the bargain.

Personally I would not want it, but she clearly did it she wouldn’t have jumped at the chance. Saying yes before Harry even got the words out, yet clearly not having a clue about the expectations and demands .

She certainly wouldn’t be living in a mansion in California without these connections. Nor would Oprah have given her the time of day.

Why
It is completely different from knowing her place. If everyone on the RF decided they wanted to be the monarch, there would be anarchy and bloodshed. Luckily the RF tend to be more civil these days and accept their position.

As for the skin colour comment, we discussed that earlier. Unless Harry was lying, it was not said about a specific child.

As for your views on the RF, the Queen is head of state. Having a presidential system would be far more costly to the country and risks polarising politics still further. The Tories have been in power for the majority of the past century and I would not like to risk allowing that power to grow.

She did not need the RF for such opportunities did she because she can achieve the same before the RF and after. Everything you mentioned she could have achieved. You assume she was living in a semi-detached somewhere downtown? You think she could not afford a nanny, beautiful clothes and holidays? Her charity work had substance before she joined the RF. Actually getting her hands dirty instead of cutting ribbons and attention events.

Before she met Harry, she had millions in the bank and could have afford private schooling for her kids. If that’s why a 3rd rate actress can achieve, I think that’s pretty good by most standards. I’m assuming you’re a 1st rate employee with greater success than Meghan?

I would still like to know what opportunities she was given that she did not have before the RF and does not have now.

1. The RF tried to prevent Harry and Meghan from leaving. They tried to work out a compromise. However, the RF’s position was stay or nothing THINKING that Harry and Meghan could not stand on their own. The RF though Harry and Meghan would capitulate and stay,

H&M wanted to officially represent the royal family part-time, as it suited their own schedules, while retaining full-time security (at a grossly inflated cost due to living in a foreign country, perhaps paid by a foreign government who understandably didn't want to foot the cost) and being free to spout off about politics and "correct the record" the rest of the time. That would never have worked. Letting them pop in occasionally for events might have been ok, but they still would have had the same restrictions as full-time royals. H&M have been clear that they found those restrictions unacceptable.

2. Harry tried to give of his time (not funded by the taxpayers). He did not want to burn bridges. The RF wanted to. Again thinking that Harry and Meghan would capitulate.

If Harry doesn't want to be a working royal, he doesn't get to officially represent the Queen by way of royal patronages. This isn't a new rule they just made up for him. If he was either so clueless or so arrogant to assume long-standing policies would be changed or ignored to suit his feelings, that's his failing, not anyone else's.

3. The RF did not anticipate that fair-minded friends with deeper and well-earned pockets would come to their rescue.

I doubt the RF was terribly concerned with whose mansion they were staying at. They have far too much money to be in genuine need of "rescuing" by anyone. If they find themselves in need of financial rescue because they somehow managed to piss away $30 million in less than a year, then that too is their own fault.

4. Are you certain they want a Royal Christening? Who told you so? They did, did they? Take a moment and ask why they would want a Royal Christening for Lilibet. They did one for Archie because they had to. They never even told you who the godparents were. You really think they want one for Lilibet? Why? What for? She is officially recognised as in the Royal line. What would the christening achieve?

You're right, they haven't officially confirmed it. But they rarely officially confirm anything, including things that could only have come from them personally. If they don't want people to assume that anonymously-sourced news stories are correct, they shouldn't have made such a habit of using those same stories as an alternative to press releases. Remind me, how did we learn all about all the flowers used in the wreath for Philip's funeral?

5. Harry and Meghan must absolutely use their Royal titles. Why should the victims be punished for standing up for themselves? What crime did they commit that they are deserving of being pursued to destruction? Are they alleged to have raped underage trafficked girls? No? Oh it’s the heinous crime of saying enough is enough and standing up for yourself and you family. How dare they, how very dare they.

Telling someone "If you want to make a living by denouncing the royal family, you shouldn't make extra $$$ by using a royal title" is hardly "pursuing them to destruction."

What kind of mindset do you think asks about the colour of a child’s skin?

One that's interested in genetics? Speculation about the appearance of a child is a common topic of conversation everywhere when the parents have very different traits, even if they're the same race. Will he be tall like Dad or short like Mum? Skinny like Mum or stocky like Dad? Curly hair like Mum or straight hair like Dad? Blonde like Dad, black-haired like Mum, or something in between? These are normal conversations to have, and skin color is just one more trait to think about.

Or maybe they're aware of the same social issues you post incessantly about, and agree with you that life in the British upper classes would be difficult for a non-white child due to racism. Since you seem to agree that that's simply a fact, why would be racist for them to say so?

@Why2why

She did not need the RF for such opportunities did she because she can achieve the same before the RF and after. Everything you mentioned she could have achieved. You assume she was living in a semi-detached somewhere downtown? You think she could not afford a nanny, beautiful clothes and holidays? Her charity work had substance before she joined the RF. Actually getting her hands dirty instead of cutting ribbons and attention events.

Before she met Harry, she had millions in the bank and could have afford private schooling for her kids. If that’s why a 3rd rate actress can achieve, I think that’s pretty good by most standards. I’m assuming you’re a 1st rate employee with greater success than Meghan?

I would still like to know what opportunities she was given that she did not have before the RF and does not have now.

Most people had never heard of her before she got involved with Harry. She wasn't a household name like he was. Her net worth was nowhere near his, and wasn't likely to ever be. An actress who hasn't achieved that level of fame and fortune by 38 isn't likely to do so in her 40's or 50's or later. I can't think of any who have.

She was financially successful in her own right, but no more so than many other professionals in a variety of fields. She couldn't have afforded private jets and a wardrobe full of six-figure outfits. She certainly couldn't have afforded a $40 million wedding. And even if she could have, people like the Clooneys wouldn't have gone to it if she'd been marrying some random taxi driver rather than Harry. They wouldn't have known who she was, nor considered her consequential enough to be an acquaintance worth making. Sure, she could have afforded a nice house (though nothing like the one in Montecito) and a nanny, but it's disingenuous to pretend everyone who has those things lives at the same standard as the royals.

The massive opportunity Meghan was given was global fame. An express ticket to something she had sought her whole life. Unfortunately she and Harry have squandered this. They have tarnished their brand and are known for being the people who complained about being royal and were heartless to the Queen. It could have been so different if they had shown a bit of grace.

@Dreamstate
I made a joke about a typo. Your response is disproportionate. Your comments haven’t been ‘bad’. They have been abundant with anger, attacks and accusations, not just toward me but anyone, who does not disagree with you.

Did you miss the other joke about your typo?

*does not agree with you… oops. I made a typo. Silly me. 🙄

Indeed @Dreamstate, it was me who originally picked up on your typo because it was funny. That sort of thing happens with typos and autocorrect. I have been picked up a few times myself on here for amusing mis-typing. It happens. If you were offended by this I am sorry. You are free to say so in a civilised way. But the post that you addressed a @Mummyoflittledragon
was a disproportionate personal attack and as such was reported and deleted.

@Why2why

She did not need the RF for such opportunities did she because she can achieve the same before the RF and after. Everything you mentioned she could have achieved. You assume she was living in a semi-detached somewhere downtown? You think she could not afford a nanny, beautiful clothes and holidays? Her charity work had substance before she joined the RF. Actually getting her hands dirty instead of cutting ribbons and attention events.

Before she met Harry, she had millions in the bank and could have afford private schooling for her kids. If that’s why a 3rd rate actress can achieve, I think that’s pretty good by most standards. I’m assuming you’re a 1st rate employee with greater success than Meghan?

I would still like to know what opportunities she was given that she did not have before the RF and does not have now.

The simple answer is no of course she couldn’t have had that level of wealth attention and media coverage before she got married. If yuh really believe that you’re totally deluded. The millions in the bank you speak of.. how do you know? Really? If so, and it might have been the case, we haven’t heard that she put it towards the mansion Harry says he bought with the inheritance from his mother. I hadn’t heard of her or Suits before she became involved with Harry. She was not a famous woman. She had no influence in her own right on the world stage. Surely you realise this.

@ SwimmingUnderwater
Well put . Like so many people , I had never heard of her until she appeared with Harry at the Invictus Games ( and thought she looked great and he looked happy).
If she had so much money , why was she living in a small rented house ? Nothing wrong with renting but she clearly likes high end clothes, jewellery, houses etc

@Why2why - you are very passionate, but I think you should do a bit of fact checking about the situation and refresh your memory. Meghan was exceedingly popular in the run up to the wedding. It was a lovely wedding - I for one really enjoyed it and thought that she would be great for Harry.

I really think that she had not, however, grasped that she was the spouse of the spare, getting a “second division” experience, being in the second row, getting second-rate houses (by their standards!) and not realising that any celebrity-type behaviour does not go down well when it’s the rf which is taxpayer funded. Act like money’s going out of fashion if you’re Elton John, but if you’re royal you have to be seen to be somewhat modest (of course who knows what they spend on in private, but it’s the appearance of being in old tweeds that counts).

Another one, Meghan wasn’t hounded by Harry into marriage; her friend who was International Membership Director at Soho House arranged for them to meet. So it was from her end that the initial meeting came about, not as was reported that he saw her on Suits.