Harry and Meghan - everyone still being respectful please

[Oldbutstillgotit]

Lots still to talk about .

For what it's worth, my posts were not deleted. It's a minor thing. I only disagreed with you that BIPOC is common in the UK because I for one have never heard it before this thread, and certainly would never use it.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8806185/Prince-William-set-head-Royal-Marines.html

This won’t help the rift .

The idea that LipstickAlley represents the POC opinion, or the opinion of any group other than "deranged tinhats who hate all wives/girlfriends of male celebs" (especially in light of Keanu Reeve's restraining order against one of their more prominent members) is extremely funny.

I hope you intended it to be comedy?

@Oldbutstillgotit No, it won’t help the rift. But the Marines need someone stable as their figurehead. Not a person who simply drops them when a better offer comes along - such as Harry and the lion king premier. Maybe William would be the better option.

I only disagreed with you that BIPOC is common in the UK because I for one have never heard it before this thread, and certainly would never use it.

I saw your post, Malahaha' - which is a perfectly fair thing to say - but I really don't think several pages of such contentious debate (including a couple of really nasty, abusive comments) is justified simply because a long-time American resident working in a niche field accidentally uses a primarily American/industry term because it's the term they hear every day and they just used it automatically without thinking.

Surely as a POC you find the constant tone-policing and word-policing of other POC disturbing? The sheer level of fury, the false accusations I'd called them racist, simply because I used a term they personally disliked, is just off the scale. Surely people will use different terminology depending on their backgrounds and other influences? My mother's country has terms for black people which are pretty much unknown in English-speaking countries. It's ridiculous to get so upset at someone not using our own preferred term (obv not counting terms widely accepted as slurs, like the N word).

What I have not seen - and what reading through all the past pages and google searching for deleted posts - is the post that Quietlyloud refers to, the one stating: "You are all racists and [preferred term] is the only correct term because I'm a person of colour and believe that's the only term that should be used."

Nowhere on this thread have I seen any comment that contains the above quote.

@froggygoneacourting

The idea that LipstickAlley represents the POC opinion, or the opinion of any group other than "deranged tinhats who hate all wives/girlfriends of male celebs" (especially in light of Keanu Reeve's restraining order against one of their more prominent members) is extremely funny.

I hope you intended it to be comedy?

I didn't say they represented all poc. But you seem to be thinking that every criticism of her is bound to be racist. It isn't; that's just an example of poc non-approval. I was very excited about her as Harry's choice at first; I loved it that he'd brought someone biracial into the RF, and that HM was so kind towards her and Doria. Her behaviour since her marriage has rather put me off, sad to say.

www.telegraph.co.uk/royal-family/2020/03/28/prince-harry-likely-given-diplomatic-status-united-states-help/
Hmmmm!

Surely as a POC you find the constant tone-policing and word-policing of other POC disturbing?

Frankly I haven't noticed this.
I haven't read the whole thread and I don't really lurk on H&M threads, just pop in now and again so I don't know about this. This is actually the first time I've de-lurked. I didn't even know you were a person of colour until you said so a few posts back.

I haven't seen it at all on the threads I DO habituate (almost exclusively FWR).

Does anyone know what's going on? I am so confused. What is this thread about.

But you seem to be thinking that every criticism of her is bound to be racist.

I really don't I was one of her biggest critics until after she left, and have criticised loads of stuff about her here.

I don't think all criticism of her is racist. Only that a) the criticism of certain publications (which has clearly crossed the line from criticism to outright obsession, and is deeply hypocritical) is rooted at least part in racism.

And that b) from what I've personally witnessed over two years of posting in royal threads, which is literally hundreds of threads deleted for overt racism and non-stop lies and bullying, continual racist abuse of black and biracial posters, including very nasty incidents and comments which have happened off-board, and the fact that at least a few of the most fervent anti-Meghan posters have posted so many inflammatory comments on threads about other subjects like BLM, the diversity dance, etc. etc. etc it's led to them being widely perceived as being racist.

Based on all these things, in my opinion it's undeniable that some of the Meghan-haters are plain and simple straight up racists, some of them hate Meghan for a variety of reasons race being just one, and that some aren't actively racist but are being influenced by covert or subconscious racism.

I'm not the only poster who's observed that when a Mumsnetter publicly announces that they are POC, the level of hostility and abuse immediately jumps off the charts when their posting style and content has not changed at all. I know two Mumsnetters who operate two separate usernames, one they use to be "out" as being black, and one where they post in exactly the same way, but simply don't mention that they are black. Both report that their 'black' username is regularly treated with hostility even when they are posting on completely innocuous threads like what's for tea, and any attempt to post about racial issues even in the mildest politest way leads to abuse, fury and harassment. While if those same women post much angrier and more confrontational posts under their "presumed white" usernames, they might get disagreement but won't get personal abuse or rage.

Literally, the last time I "outed" myself as biracial, the very first thing that happened (this was in a pro-Meghan thread, which had already been disrupted by a poster from the "private" part of Mumset spamming the thread with dozens of photos of some actor, in order to prevent positive discussion) was that someone immediately posted something along the lines of, "What's the problem? It's not like anyone's said Meghan is a N**R blah blah blah, is it?

Only they wrote the word out in full. And yes it was all caps.

So literally the very first response to me mentioning that I'm POC, was someone screaming the N word in my face.

And then I had to witness other posters pulling the disingenuous act, saying it wasn't racist since they hadn't called ME the N word, they hadn't called Meghan the N word, they'd used the N word in a totally innocent context, and anyway black people are allowed to use it to actually it's racist to censor white people from using it and how do you know what race we are anyway?

That's one incident out of a million. This is why everyone outside the little hate gang think MN/the Meghan hatedom has a problem with racism. This is why we keep "bringing race" into it.

Anyway! I wonder if H&M will be tuning in to watch William’s documentary?

@OVienna it's tedious isn't it?

froggygoneacourting it wasn’t a direct quote so if course you won’t find that exact comment lol.

@MissEliza Indeedy.

@Oldbutstillgotit

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8806185/Prince-William-set-head-Royal-Marines.html

This won’t help the rift .

I would think that either the DM is deliberately stirring by stating this or that it’s being done as a punishment for Harry’s behaviour. I noticed the comment that it is not looking likely that the 12 month period will result in Harry returning to the RF and, of course, that decision isn’t just for the H&M to make but for the RF as well. Perhaps the RF has decided and rather than causing any negative publicity by saying anything now, this is their way of showing that.

@SunbathingDragon

All deleted posts are still on the web cache.

Foggy, I find you hilarious so I’m going to leave conversations with you now because I’m a little concerned that you aren’t meaning to be funny.

Foggy? Lol

The 12 month review was at least somewhat to save face for the BRF, I doubt H&M had any intention of returning if they felt unhappy and that they weren't really supported.

(Going by old video interviews years before meeting Meghan) Harry had already stated he didn't want to leave the army, wanted to leave the Royal family, didn't like England (mostly due to the press), etc.

For years Harry has said he's wanted out. To live in Africa or Brazil ("like an ordinary bloke") and work with animals or on an ecology project. Meghan seems to have given him the confidence to do this. HM thought a Commonwealth role would suit them.

So he's not living where he wanted or is doing what he wanted?

According to various sources, including Scobie, he wanted to live in Botswana. When he took Meghan there he was thrilled that she loved it too. Why Botswana became Santa Barbara I have no idea.

The Africa question puzzles me too . Currently watching PW’s programme ( very good) and remembered that H wanted to move there . Apparently HM was supportive so what happened ?

🤔 Yes, what happened?

According to the Lacey book (and in this respect it's the same as Finding Freedom) HM was aware of Harry's feelings and love of Botswana. She felt a traditional royal role wouldn't suit the couple, so the aim was to create a Commonwealth role where they could live part of the time in Africa. This had the agreement of Charles and William, and, originally, the couple themselves. It was felt that they could also have more of a private life there with less press intrusion.