I left Mumsnet just after H and M got married because, even then, I was extremely uneasy about the racist tone of the commentary about her. I told MNHQ about this and I remember being told to just ignore posts.
I have rejoined to say a couple of things.
I am a black woman from South Africa, and find it really strange that Mumsnetters like @yolofish can speak with such confidence about the lives of black women in a country they know little about, and do it too, by dragging up stereotypes about crime in that country.
Who says that the biggest worry of black South African women is their babies getting raped to cure AIDS? Is this really what you believe about a whole entire country? This is the danger of the single story, you hear just one thing about a country and think that’s all there is to it.
South Africa has many women who are professionals in a range of areas, who are students, who live both in and outside “shanty towns”. We are not all poor women clutching babies to our chests in case they get raped.
Meghan was well received in SA because as a successful and hardworking black woman who came from a humble background and difficult family environment, she is extremely inspiring not only to black women in South Africa, but to the rest of the African continent, the Caribbean and beyond.
I get that Britain’s weird dysfunctional class issues mean that hard work and aspiration are not admired, in fact, ambitious people are routinely mocked for getting above themselves, and you have a tall poppy syndrome where people are not supposed to “rise above their station”. And if this is an offensive stereotype to some, I hope it helps you understand how offensive your stereotypes about others are.
Please try, however hard, to imagine that others see things differently to the way you do. Meghan is, like it or not, a positive black female role model, in a world desperate for them.
So when she said she was a woman of a colour and a sister, many of us women of colour took her words for what they were, and we took her to our hearts for what she represents. She is a sister. Feel free to read up on what sisterhood means to black women.
Please don’t presume to speak for black women by stating that you think our priorities should be our raped babies.
It is both patronizing and racist to presume you can know what those priorities are.
Has Meghan made mistakes? Of course, many. But given the racist tone of most of the commentary about her, especially here on Mumsnet, we definitely have her back.
I know that many will say there is no racism at all to the commentary, but I ask you all to reflect and think for a moment about what tools you possess that allow you to judge whether something is racist, what experience you have of racism, and above all, why it is that so many of you are willing to trade in stereotypes about Black people, the kind of stereotype delivered so effectively by @yolofish above.
Thanks for listening.