Machiavellian Misbehaviour- the Excellent Cats Deny Everything

[TheShellBeach]

Clarion call to all the cats from the last thread and a warm welcome to any new ones who want to join us.

So I wish I could say all quiet on the Velvet front (tbh it is never quiet on the Velvet front what with all the howling, mewing etc but I mean metaphorically).

For once last night she was not locked out or taken out of my room. So she spent her night on my bed curled up happy as a little clam. And she has spent most of today reclining like Cleopatra on a spare duvet. Will try to attach a picture.

I cannot provide evidence for this but based on my life experience this provoked one of my mother's most vicious tirades for a long while. Over a cat. It included the lie that I haven't had my door open for months but I actually have. I find it quite triggering but I want Velvet to have free access if she wants so I have been leaving it open. That was the least bad thing that was said

Anyway, back to the main character. Velvet has been indulging in her favourite new hobby which is chewing sellotape off packing boxes. This is going very well - she spits it out and she's actually managing to remove some so big applause for Velvet please! I have no idea why she likes this but she does so she's just doing her thing.

Her other new and less successful pastime is practising her hunting skills. On bees. As far as I'm aware none have been killed directly by her but she has got stung three times in a week. I know it's a stereotype that you can't have brains and beauty but she is a living example of all the brains and none of the beauty. She also stalked a crow. In a huge tree. This is a tiny cat who tried to climb an apple tree upside down and fell off.

Best turn the heating down. This one's melted.

Cecile, the sooner you're out from under that witch's roof the better. Horrible for you, but quite amusing in a way that she's blaming you because she failed to keep the cat to herself. Basically you're just a nicer person, and Velvet knows it (brain or not - her feelings are true).

p.s. Peeling sellotape, like popping bubble wrap, is one of life's cathartic activities. I can't remember what the name of the film was in which a character commented "therapy is expensive, but bubble wrap is cheap".

So true about the bubble wrap! I've just never seen a cat or other animal just chewing away on a box with sellotape happily. She isn't lacking nutrition, she is in fact getting to be a little roly-poly, so I assume she's just having fun. Whatever floats her boat I suppose :)

Izzy likes chewing cardboard. Haven't given her any with sellotape yet. Bubbles used to lick plastic bags 😕

Ever seen the painting The Persistence of Memory?

Dali should have put your cat in it 😆

Just found this 🤣

Oh yes, perfect! All art is improved by the addition of cats.

I have a tattoo on my leg of Salvador Dali, together with one of the clocks from The Persistence of Memory.

I made mozzarella, tomato, and basil egg muffins earlier. Left them out on the side to cool. I went into the kitchen about half an hour later, Fred walked past, practically whistling in an attempt to look innocent. On the floor was a stolen muffin with little kitten bites taken out of it, and Raven trying to decide what to do with it now that Fred had left her his prize.

"Some cats sing a song of triumph when they've successfully performed;"

You talking about Tobias there? He announces everything he does - pee, poo, come down the stairs, go up the stairs, jump up on something, jump down off something, kill a Molly's Mice or similar toy, wait for food, get fed, kill the carpet, remove the wallpaper, scratch cardboard...

Hew's not loud, just very vocal.

Velvet is loud and vocal. To the point that I wonder if she has some sensory issue so she needs to use echolocation and you can track her through the house with her mews.

Here are my beautiful boys. Benny wanted to show off his rather excellent tail.

We've been battling a mild case of fleas as the regular treatments with Advantage were no longer effective. Took them to the vets on Monday and were given Bravecto and it's worked! Combed them both thoroughly last night and found nothing. So pleased. I've been shutting them out of bedrooms for a few weeks so I'm really glad to let them back in. Benny has become like a therapy cat for my 9yo who is autistic. They adore each other and it's the cutest thing I've ever seen ❤️

Benny's tail! 😻
This photo made me laugh - for those of you with chonky plus-sized furry friends.
Happy Easter!

Talking of chonky cats....

This is Tobias coming up for air half way through a marathon grooming session. I worked out that in total he was at it for around an hour and a half (based on what I was watching on TV) with this being the only time he stopped to have a quick glance around.

Girlcat in the background waiting for evening cuddles.

I had to zoom in and search for Girlcat A good example of the Black Cat Void! 😄

Not my photo - but here's another one...

Guarding his new scratching pad from Picard, who was glaring at us through the window.

Found him!

DC and DH were out yesterday and I was studying with Boone next to me. I kept taking photos of him as he is so perfect. Realised I have more photos of him and Eko on my phone than my DC! Is the way of the world isn’t it 🤣

Went round to Allergic's yesterday with DS to exchange token quantities of chocolates and watch a movie stream (Barbie! Judge us if you must!). Tobias was again waiting on the stairs to see who the invaders were. He came into the lounge once we'd sat down, and after a while actually accepted several pieces of sliced beef from DS's fingers. This was especially brave because we were all sitting on the corner sofa with DS in the middle and a table in front that would have blocked easy escape, so Tobias willingly allowed himself to be surrounded by humans for the sake of cold meats. He took each fragment delicately; Allergic's "no snatching" training had clearly paid off. When he was quite sure there were no more goodies on offer he strolled upstairs to keep Lassa company. What a good boy.

Lassa = Girlcat.

Yes I was very proud of him, he was so brave! ❤

Has Girlcat got two names, Allergic?

Girlcat and the late lamented Boycat's real life names are/were Lassa and Linton. i just referred to them as Boycat and Girlcat on here (no idea why, can't remember my thinking at the time).

Only clarified above because Annie said about Tobias keeping Lassa company, and peeps may have wondered who Lassa was!

Girlcat is a description rather than a name. Tobias is such a... Tobias, it works as both!

On the rare occasions I used to mention the late Oscar and Bubbles in posts I'd refer to them as Big Cat and Small Cat. Now they are no more I just go with the names, it's simpler.

I love Linton. In my mind he drives a car somewhat like Toad from the Wind in the Willows and starts each morning with toast, Marmalade and a paper copy of the Times.

Linton would NOT have been safe driving a car, would have been confused by toast, and wouldn't know what to do with a newspaper - not even to sit on it or shred it like most cats. He was a very "special" cat, with the attention span of a pissed gnat, the brains of a particularly thick amoeba, and the agility of a 3 legged camel.

It has been said of him that it was a good thing he was indoor only, as he wouldn't last 5 minutes in his own back garden. Despite this (or maybe partly because of it), he was the light and love of my life and I still miss him every day.

He was also incredibly handsome, a magnificent 6-6.5kg panther.