I think I have become my cat's fluffer!

[Gertrudetheadelie]

We adopted a male cat about 5 months ago. Lovely old boy (14 to 16) we were told but still very much full of beans. He's fitted in to the family well and is very tolerant. So far, so good.

However, when he kneads he does it with all four legs and, after a while, he'll be erect, jump down and lick himself. Now, I was aware of kneading but my husband's old cats had done it without the weird little codicil.

Do other cats do this? How should I respond? I've realised that I've let this happen often enough (it took me a while to clock what he was up to) now that he does it almost every day if he gets a chance. He occasionally does it to my husband if I am not available but I am, apparently, his favourite fluffer.

He's a cat that shows love through proximity rather than obvious affection so I don't want to shove him away pre-emptively.

He has been neutered but at what point in his life I can't say, unfortunately. I don't know much either about how much love and affection he has before he came into CPL's care.

Anyone have any wisdom please??

None, but I love your title

I don't think this is unusual in male animals and I wouldn't read anything sexual in it. Dogs can also get visibly excited when they're excited for something like a walk, a treat or just some fuss.

Just ignore it and if it makes you uncomfortable then stop. Our attitudes to it are way beyond feline comprehension.

(Had a cat that did the same btw and the kneading is just an expression of happiness and pleasure normal to cats)

Thanks! To be honest, I wouldn't mind the over-enthusiastic kneading so much. It's the fact that he gets himself to a certain point, flies off my lap and sits there eyeballing me while he licks himself!

Our Bengal used to do this but only when dh was sitting next to me. He’d face dh to lick himself.

It made dh feel quite ill.

My neutered Ragdoll does this. Thankfully not on me, usually on cushions and soft toys. He kneads and humps. Vet said he must still have a fair amount of testosterone in him despite being neutered 3 years ago. He then licks his penis in front of me. I just look away / walk away and hide DDs favourite soft toys

This is why I only ever have female cats. I can’t bear seeing cat willy 🤮

Okay, I am feeling much better that I am not alone here!

The trouble is that he's had a rough time so (and I know this is ridiculous) I don't want him to feel rejected if I shove him off because as a human it is weird, but also I don't want to be my cat's shag rag. Maybe I need to find him a stuffed toy lady cat that he can romance!

I’m in a sad mood and you’ve really made me laugh so thank you! Sounds hilarious but no idea what the resolution is, sorry!

Stuffed toy lady cat is the way to go. Honestly, do it! Happiness all round. My boy had a bad start to life too. We were his 3rd home in his 3 years of life.

P.S. if you find a decent cat lady doll, give me a shout. DDs favourite Llama is looking a tad 'shagged through a hedge backwards'

I've had male cats all my life, and they have NEVER done this

Until this cat. He's 2 and neutered and I have had to condemn my cosiest dressing gown to the back of the airing cupboard as apparently it is just too alluring.

Where's Toys-R-Us when you need them?? I will hunt a lady cat toy, I think.

I am pregnant at the moment but it started way before that, I think. I imagine though he's going to be very confused about the parenthood of the 'kitten' when it eventually emerges!

^ The offender. All shagged out.

One of my male cats is a wanker. It is an extremely elaborate affair with his hind legs “kneading” in the air whilst he waves his willy about. And he likes to lie with his back against my leg for his performance. You have my sympathies.

My DCat does this. He humps me in the night. Mainly my feet. He cannot be near a blanket ever because it gets his special love. I’m sure his balls are growing back. It must be impossible but they look bigger than they used to.

@DobbyTheHouseElk

My DCat does this. He humps me in the night. Mainly my feet. He cannot be near a blanket ever because it gets his special love. I’m sure his balls are growing back. It must be impossible but they look bigger than they used to.

My vet said that DCats balls weren't as shrivelled as they should be 3 years post neutering.

We appear to have some sort of of highly sexed, neuter evasive, hybrid wanker cats.

I had no idea this was a thing! We've had lots of male cats (all neutered early) and never had this problem!

This thread is the funniest thing I have read in ages. I used to have a wanker too. The object of his affection was our other male cat but once my ear though I can't talk about that as I am still traumatised. The other cat was a chilled dude who would watch patiently while wanker cat humped and wiggled his way down the bed waving his lipstick proudly. This could take up to an hour. When wanker cat finally wiggled his way to chilled dude, chilled dude would bat him round the head and jump off the bed in disgust while wanker cat sat and howled in dismay. He never learnt his lesson. This happenned most weeks for years

My cat has special time, unfortunately always on me and specifically my left arm

I do wonder if he was neutered later @TheYearOfSmallThings, but there's no way for us to know as his vet records are pretty sketchy and he's had a few owners in his time. He doesn't have the broad intact Tom cat face though, so maybe he just is a randy old bugger!

This thread is bringing a whole new meaning to the words cat slave

@Cheeseandlobster okay I thought I had or bad when he went to town sat on my chest facing me (I sent the husband an SOS text and a picture of convey the gravity of my situation) but you have beaten me with the ear-love!

my late cat used to do this. Thankfully with a fluffy blanket, not on me!

I miss him terribly but jizzing on the blankets, not so much!

Hahaha! Our old boy cat used to do a version of this - fluffy blanket or kids stuffed toy, lots of intense kneading with a fixed look in his eyes, finally getting to a sort of stiffened legs, shivery, shaky ‘climax’ - if he hadn’t been pushed off quickly before that point! It was definitely something he grew into in his later years, too - he wasn’t much of a lap cat when younger but as he aged and spent more time cuddling up it was noticeably more frequent! (Actually might have started around the time I was pregnant, come to think of it.)

Suddenly I am very pleased we only have female cats, didn't know this was a thing amongst neutered males!