Husband wants rid of cat

[lepetitfromage]

Yes, I know I should LTB 😁😁 but hear me out.

He reluctantly agreed to let me get a rescue cat a couple of months ago, I've posted pictures of our handsome puss here before. He's settled in very well after a couple of weeks of hiding, though I'm not sure he'll ever be the lap cat I hoped for. But has lots of funny little habits and definitely knows we are his family. Loves the kids. Not aggressive at all. We let him out after about 4 weeks and he'll always come back after a little wander about. Has tried to kill birds a few times (succeeded at least once) but has a bell now and has been very well behaved. Always, always uses his litter tray and is generally a good boy.

So far so good, you'd think. The issue is my husband hates having a cat. Can appreciate that Tom is a lovely cat and well behaved, though he's not buying the personality traits that we ascribe to the cat, thinks he's pretty boring (he's more of a dog fan). His main issue, however, is that the cat has taken over our living room. His litter tray is there because there's nowhere else to put it - I wouldn't have it in the kitchen, the downstairs loo and hall are way too small, so what else can we do? His climbing tower (of little interest to him tbh), water bowl and bed are in the living room too (though of course he sleeps on the couch!). We do have a second family room but DH feels that the cat has taken over, the room stinks and we've basically lost it to the cat. Me and the kids try very hard to keep it clean but there's no denying the cat sheds a lot of hair and though it is a covered tray and I clean up mess immediately, there's definitely a smell that wasn't there pre cat.

So what are the options?

1. Get rid of the cat
2. Get a cat flap (DH refuses)
3. Put the cat outside permanently
4. Any other options??

Me and the kids have got very attached but honestly, DH is miserable and was not really prepared for the disruption. I obviously love my husband more than I love the cat but equally I don't want to upset the kids. How can we fix this? And apologies for the epic message!!

Once my cats (now 10 years old) started going outside after being spayed/neutered we did away with the litter box. We have a cat flap though so getting outside to go to the toilet isn't an issue. I'd have to say cat flap or keep the stinky front room.

Get a cat flap!! Why on earth doesn’t he want one? You could put one in a window pane if that would be less obtrusive?

Move the litter tray and bowls out of the living room. My litter tray is in the kitchen and it's fine. No way would I have it in the lounge!!

For me only options would be

1.get a cat flap or

1. LTB

Get a cat flap so the cat can please itself: surely your husband would be happy if he was out more? I barely see my cat in the summer months.

Ditch the bed
Ditch the climbing tower

Oh, and in fairness to your DH, I went through a rocky period when we got our first cat. It felt like one more bloody thing to think about and look after.

I think that's probably quite normal, and it does pass.

Why doesn't he want a cat flap?

Cat flap. Litter tray in kitchen. Tell Husband to get over himself.
Failing that ltb.

The absolutely logical solution is of course a cat flap and I'm more than happy to put one in patio doors (really the only suitable place). But...we spent a small fortune getting our house renovated last year, the kitchen and patio doors are brand new, so he just will NOT contemplate "messing it up" with a catflap. And there's no way I'm having litter in the kitchen tbh, it just isn't big enough. We really are stuck!

Argh my step dad refuses to get a cat flap then moans when the cat wants in or out! It’s infuriating.

The cat isn’t daft though, they live in a bungalow and he’s learnt to go up on the roof and make a holy racket above their heads while they’re sleeping if he wants to be let in, jumping on roof tiles etc.

He doesn’t have a litter tray inside though, and no climbing frame. Yes your husband should just get a cat flap, but it should be possible to work towards no litter tray and no tower thing if he’s not interested in it.

Leave a window open for the cat to come and go as he pleases.

You could then put the litter tray in the kitchen as DCat will poo in next door's garden.

You can also get by without a scratching post. DCat can happily scratch on something else.

Catflap would be easier than having to leave a window open.

Your DH is jealous of a cat.

You can put a catflap in a wall.

🤮 litter tray in the living room? No thank you. You need a catio accessed via a cat flap. He can't agree to let you have a cat, then wait until everyone is attached and the cat is settled to change his mind. That's just cruel.

If I could train the cat to do his business outside then I think we'd be OK. I'd be OK with the cat being left outside in summer (well not really but he was a stray all his life so I think he's streetwise) but not in bad weather or winter. Too risky even though we live in a quiet street. But that's not doable if the cat can't come and go as he pleases and there isn't a window that works and I cannot win the catflap battle!

You can put cat flaps in walls. Is that an option?

I don’t think your DH can have it all ways. The family has taken on this commitment and it’s a bit late now. It would be very cruel to re-re-home a rescue cat, particularly when it seems 75% of you are happy to provide a loving home. A cat can easily live 20 years. I think your DH needs to take a hit with the patio door. What’s the worst that can happen?

Get rid of the cat tree.

Get a hand held hoover and vacum daily to keep on top of the hair.

If you put a cat flap in windows/ patio doors the whole glass needs go be replaced with a built in cat flap, it's expensive. We fit ours in a wall. When you fit one make sure it's a microchip one.

I LOVE my cat but there's no way I'd have my front room taken over by litter boxes etc. And you have another room, why not use that for the litter box?

I can't believe you have a litter box in the living room. Honestly, that's just disgusting. At a minimum it should be in a piece of furniture made to disguise litter boxes. Also, if you only have one cat and it stinks that bad, you are using the wrong, probably cheap, litter. I have four cats and my house has never, ever smelled of a litter box.

As an aside, can anyone explain how a litter tray in the kitchen (where we store, cook and eat food) is preferable to a living room? Or do all have ginormous kitchens??

I don't understand why you wouldn't put the litter box in the second family room?

You also have your bin in the kitchen. Litter tray in the living room is yuck 🤮

I would not tolerate a litter tray in the house, that's just disgusting. Get a cat flap installed ffs. Litter trays stink.

Your DH is jealous of a cat

That's exactly what's happening.
Well he needs to get a bloody cat flap or suck it up.

The windows won't be ruined by a cat flap. My SIL moved into a brand new house with bifolds and had a fab cat flap fitted no problem.

It is a large, lidded litter tray. I use an expensive litter (Cats Best) clumping, odour absorbing and I spot clean it EVERY time he uses it, except if I'm sleeping. I clean and replace everything weekly so am getting about half the suggested time out of a box. He does not bury his poo, but honestly, the longest they are left is a couple of hours because I'm sleeping!! The rescue centre were using woodchips and so did I for a few weeks but they did smell bad and I don't notice an odour tbh now that I've switched litter, but DH insists he does. We have a handheld hoover and we clean at least once a day.