Husband wants rid of cat

[lepetitfromage]

Yes, I know I should LTB 😁😁 but hear me out.

He reluctantly agreed to let me get a rescue cat a couple of months ago, I've posted pictures of our handsome puss here before. He's settled in very well after a couple of weeks of hiding, though I'm not sure he'll ever be the lap cat I hoped for. But has lots of funny little habits and definitely knows we are his family. Loves the kids. Not aggressive at all. We let him out after about 4 weeks and he'll always come back after a little wander about. Has tried to kill birds a few times (succeeded at least once) but has a bell now and has been very well behaved. Always, always uses his litter tray and is generally a good boy.

So far so good, you'd think. The issue is my husband hates having a cat. Can appreciate that Tom is a lovely cat and well behaved, though he's not buying the personality traits that we ascribe to the cat, thinks he's pretty boring (he's more of a dog fan). His main issue, however, is that the cat has taken over our living room. His litter tray is there because there's nowhere else to put it - I wouldn't have it in the kitchen, the downstairs loo and hall are way too small, so what else can we do? His climbing tower (of little interest to him tbh), water bowl and bed are in the living room too (though of course he sleeps on the couch!). We do have a second family room but DH feels that the cat has taken over, the room stinks and we've basically lost it to the cat. Me and the kids try very hard to keep it clean but there's no denying the cat sheds a lot of hair and though it is a covered tray and I clean up mess immediately, there's definitely a smell that wasn't there pre cat.

So what are the options?

1. Get rid of the cat
2. Get a cat flap (DH refuses)
3. Put the cat outside permanently
4. Any other options??

Me and the kids have got very attached but honestly, DH is miserable and was not really prepared for the disruption. I obviously love my husband more than I love the cat but equally I don't want to upset the kids. How can we fix this? And apologies for the epic message!!

You can get top entry litter boxes which are more aesthetically pleasing, tend to be a bit more compact, and can help reduce tracking. Put it in the kitchen. Also, Sanicat Lotus Flower clumping litter is amazing at keeping odour down. It lasts ages. I've got 6 cats, and my house doesn't smell like a litter tray either. I scoop multiple times a day and the trays get emptied, deep cleaned and refilled weekly.

No, you really can't lock a cat out all summer, that's just horrid. Cats aren't part time pets, and it won't solve the issues when its winter, or bad weather. Also, not all cats can be 'trained' to not need an indoor litter tray.

I don't have a cat flap, but then I'm ok with leaving a door or window open most of the time, and I always get my cats in at night.

Honestly, if you can't agree on how to meet your cats needs without abandoning it for parts of the year, just ask the rescue place to take him back and find a home that can accommodate him properly.

Vacuuming needs to be done daily.

I had cats for years without litter trays before I got a cat flap. I've loved all my babies to the moon and back but I would NOT have wanted a litter tray in my living room. Just no. I was just very organised about letting the cats in and out at regular times so they knew when they'd be going out. I mean a cat flap revolutionised mine and my cats' lives. But if it's a no go, either hide tray away in downstairs toilet or something, or go without.

If your cat was a stray then why do you need to train him to 'do his business outside'? It's what he's done for most of his life. I'm impressed that he's taken so ready to a litter tray.
Get rid of the tower and the bed. No self respecti g cat will use either, as you've already found.
Water bowl and food in the kitchen but not close to each other.
Get some kind of opening so the outdoor loving cat can come and go as he pleases and then ditch the litter tray.

I'm not sure the kitchen bin is comparable to a litter tray. Nobody poos in the bin! It's a small bin with a lid inside a cupboard and is emptied daily. Recycling is outside. Seriously, tell me how you can deal with litter in your kitchen but not the living room?? Why is it better?

Of course the catflap is 100% the best option. But I can't persuade DH. And of course he's not jealous of the cat. Can't people just not like cats? I'm cross about it but as I said, I love my husband a wee bit more than the cat, strange as that may seem to some.

I want a solution that involves keeping both of them!! I know the catflap is the best and obvious one...I was just hoping there was another solution I hadn't thought of!

Don't have all that stuff in the living room. Get rid of the climbing tower and bed. Food and water bowls in the kitchen.

The main priority is to find another home for the litter tray. You say your 'downstairs loo' is too small which suggests you have an upstairs. Ours is on the landing directly outside the bathroom so the cat's shit smells blend with everyone else's. Failing that, put it in your 'second family room'. It doesn't sound like you are short of space.

Even if you live in a 2 room hovel, you put the cat tray in the other room.

I don't agree about the cat being outside in summer. I have a cat flap so they could let themselves in and out, but they all liked being outside. One would only come in yo eat then scooted off out. Hardly saw her from April yo October! I had a rabbit hutch with blankets in the covered side and took the door off the open side and they used to love going in there. Curled up on one side, sunbathed in the other. And I also had what looked like a plastic carrier basket with a flap which was like a cat kennel. I'm thinking now it was a cat loo! Lol. But they liked that too.

Our catflap is in the front door as we live in a quiet street off the main road. Litter tray is in the kitchen

It's possible the cat goes outside but I've seen no evidence of this. He seems to come home when he needs to go. Rescue centre don't know his history apart from he was straying and brought into them. They trained him to use the tray and he's always used it. Perhaps he was owned before but he was not chipped or neutered.

Unfortunately there is no suitable window that I can leave open at night without being a security risk.

I have to agree it shouldn't smell. The only times my cat smells is when she has done a massive shit, once it's flushed there is no more smell. My cat won't even contemplate going outside! I change the litter tray every 10 days.

We got a rescue cat and my OH is the same, he wishes we hadn't got it. His issue is the hair- she is so so hairy it is pretty bad!

I love my husband to bits but if I'm honest I love my cat slightly more. Nevertheless I would never tolerate a cat shit tray in the lounge.

Does your cat have access to the bathroom? Could you put the tray in there? It's a smelly place anyway, cats poo won't smell more than your husbands 😉. Flush poo down toilet (without litter, obvs.)

The cat stays. That's non negotiable. You don't get rid of family members (I would be saying this meaningfully to DH). Plus his complaint that the cat is 'boring' makes him sound ridiculous. What did he expect, it to jump through flaming hoops?

I would say to him the choice is another location in the house for the litter tray, or a cat flap. The flap would be by far the better option as your cat's used to being outside but can then come and go. Point this out, but give him the choice so he can't keep complaining down the line.

*So what are the options?

1. Get rid of the cat
2. Get a cat flap (DH refuses)
3. Put the cat outside permanently
4. Any other options??*

You forgot number 5. Leave the husband.

I'd choose 5.

Moonbedazzled, I wondered about a cat kennel! Is this a thing? I really do want to find a solution because we want to keep the cat...and the man!! Oh and I know it sounds like we've load of space but our rooms are small and full of furniture.

Yeuch to the litter tray in lounge. A lounge is for relaxing in. Definitely move it. Kitchen, hall, downstairs loo. Anywhere but the lounge. And preferably not the second living room either.
Ditch the tower and bed.

Oh no I couldn't have litter in the kitchen or bathroom. Bathrooms have to be clean, and I don't want to be put off food.
I would not have got a cat if I didn't have space for it.
You asked for solutions. They are

• catflap in a wall
• litter tray in your second room

All other solutions have been vetoed by you, but not these as far as I can see.

Moonbedazzled's cat with the kennel also had a cat flap though so could come in when they wanted. A kennel alone isn't the answer.

Why bother with a kennel? If you are going to make the cat live most it’s time outside then you might as well not have it.

And your DH is jealous of the cat.

Do you have a cupboard under the stairs? Catflap into that and litter tray in there?

Cats should want to be outside most of the time and be using trees on which to sharpen their claws. I live cats but could not tolerate having a litter tray and all that other stuff in the living room, that's just vile, and you shouldn't have got a cat without working all this stuff out first including your husband's reluctance.

I must be odd because I put the cat out in the morning after his breakfast and go to work. He often then greets me at the front door when I arrive for work, he comes in for dinner and a bit of a fuss, and then goes back out early evening. Once it starts to get dark/cold he comes in for the night and sleeps on the bottom of my bed. I don't have a litter tray or a cat flap, I just leave the kitchen window open enough for him to get through if he really does need to get out at night. But he never has.

I will add on really cold/rainy days, I leave him in the house with the upstairs widow open, he can climb up there and get in/out due to the flat roof.

Can't you do similar?

Well he is asleep beside me in his little bed ❤❤ in the second living room where he knows he isn't allowed on the couch. But yes, the tower probably needs to go. I think my husband just had no idea that cats poop and shed and generally are the boss of the house (I did tell him!) and would never have agreed to it had he realised. I grew up with pet cats, he did not. But here we are, and as someone else said 75% of us are happy cat owners. I'm just going to have to keep pressing the catflap issue, aren't I? 🙈🙈

Our litter tray was under the stairs . It's now in the bathroom.

Apparently you are not supposed to flush cat poo. Something about toxiplasmosis getting into the water system. Not sure how true that is but I read it on here

There are only 2 viable options:
1.Ditch the tower and bed and install a catflap, or

1. Rehome your DH.

Get a ruddy cat flap. It's not difficult- your husband is being an arse.