Husband wants rid of cat

[lepetitfromage]

Yes, I know I should LTB 😁😁 but hear me out.

He reluctantly agreed to let me get a rescue cat a couple of months ago, I've posted pictures of our handsome puss here before. He's settled in very well after a couple of weeks of hiding, though I'm not sure he'll ever be the lap cat I hoped for. But has lots of funny little habits and definitely knows we are his family. Loves the kids. Not aggressive at all. We let him out after about 4 weeks and he'll always come back after a little wander about. Has tried to kill birds a few times (succeeded at least once) but has a bell now and has been very well behaved. Always, always uses his litter tray and is generally a good boy.

So far so good, you'd think. The issue is my husband hates having a cat. Can appreciate that Tom is a lovely cat and well behaved, though he's not buying the personality traits that we ascribe to the cat, thinks he's pretty boring (he's more of a dog fan). His main issue, however, is that the cat has taken over our living room. His litter tray is there because there's nowhere else to put it - I wouldn't have it in the kitchen, the downstairs loo and hall are way too small, so what else can we do? His climbing tower (of little interest to him tbh), water bowl and bed are in the living room too (though of course he sleeps on the couch!). We do have a second family room but DH feels that the cat has taken over, the room stinks and we've basically lost it to the cat. Me and the kids try very hard to keep it clean but there's no denying the cat sheds a lot of hair and though it is a covered tray and I clean up mess immediately, there's definitely a smell that wasn't there pre cat.

So what are the options?

1. Get rid of the cat
2. Get a cat flap (DH refuses)
3. Put the cat outside permanently
4. Any other options??

Me and the kids have got very attached but honestly, DH is miserable and was not really prepared for the disruption. I obviously love my husband more than I love the cat but equally I don't want to upset the kids. How can we fix this? And apologies for the epic message!!

I did do.my research and I was prepared for the disruption. But I'll be honest and say I played it down in order to convince DH.
😁

Ha ha we can't blame you for that we've all been there.

Op you say the downstairs bathroom has a small window - surely this is the solution? Big enough for cat but too small for burglars so can be left open.

Get the kids a bag of dreamies and get them training the little blighter to go through the window. It'll take a while but if the cat knows the window is the only entrance/exit it should be doable. Then you can ditch all accessories and everyone's happy.

Some cats can be trained to use the loo. That would solve the problem.

Cats will find an open window and get out. They are clever.

Yes the small loo window might be an option. I worried the drop on the outside was a little high for puss but I'll see if he can be persuaded. Thanks to those who have offered alternatives to the catflap, I'll try those first and try to keep everyone and of course puss happy.

I have a really quick question to the people saying they just use the door, if you don't mind.

I've been reading this with interest as we have something similar. We can get the cat to indicate when he wants us to open the door etc, but what about at night when you're asleep and don't know if the cat wants to go out?

Well, mine would come and miaow at me, then bite my toes if he gets no joy with that

If you are worried about cat not being able to get down from loo window, get a 6' piece of garden trellis (good quality eg Forest) and place up against it on the outside as a ladder. Or if that's still not long enough, get some treated strips of wood and get your DH to make a ladder!

I think you are massively unfair towards your husband. Rehome the cat, how would you feel if he came home with an animal fish you don't like??

lol, not fish! "Which" you don't like

@riromay I’m sure OP didn’t come home with the cat in the box and yell ‘surprise!!’

“Massively unfair towards your husband”

I don’t think that’s possible.

OP you can put cat flaps in windows if you don't have suitable doors - I did that in my last house and it worked fine.

It's a blanket NO to no tray and no flap if you care at all about the well-being of your cat. Yes there are people who do it, but that doesn't mean the cat is happy about it. I'm sure there are no rescues which would home to anyone who said they weren't prepared to have either a tray or a flap.

This is nonsense. I only have a catflap now because it's easier. I only have a litter tray when cat is confined to the house.
For many many years I had cats with neither litter trays nor cat flaps and they were the most pampered and happy cats imaginable.
Even though I now have a catflap it's always locked overnight and the cat doesn't have access to outside or a litter tray. The cat comes and wakes me up if it wants to go out - which is rarely - it's more like a teenager in terms of when it leaves its bed!

It's a blanket NO to no tray and no flap if you care at all about the well-being of your cat.

I disagree. DCat has concierge to let him in and out, because operating a catflap is beneath him. If the concierge is asleep, he climbs in and out through the window or might use the catflap.

As for the litter tray. Emergency use anyway. sit in the box ad shit down the side.

Luv my DCat.

Sorry, I'm a cat lover but I'm with your dh on this. (Apart from the cat flap.) Litter tray and food in our living room would be totally unacceptable for me. We did this for the first few weeks while dcat was settling in and it was awful.

We have a small understairs toilet, and the litter tray is in there under the basin. Food is in the kitchen. You can clear away the wet food bowl once dcat has eaten.

Get rid of the cat bed if dcat isn't using it. Or put it somewhere else, together with the cat tree - in the other room, if you use that one less.

As for the cat flap, our dcat hasn't used the litter tray since we introduced him to the cat flap. A cat flap may be a complete game-changer in terms of the litter tray, especially for an ex-stray who may prefer to 'go' out of doors.

The cost to replacd the glass patio pane is around £300 to £400. It is costly unfortunately.

BUT, you do get to keep the original glass pane so that you can swap it back in if you decide to move house or no longer require the cat flap. Might that help persuade your husband that it will be fine to get the cat flap put in?

Show him some online images of catflaps in glass patio doors. They aren't really as intrusive looking as you might think.

You're going to have to persuade him.

And www.petsathome.com/shop/en/pets/litter-kwitter-cat-toilet-training-system-(online-only)?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=google_shopping&cm_mmc=Google-_-CPC-_-%20google_shopping-_-google_shopping&ita=1976&ito=google_shopping&istCompanyId=7255ccad-a1fc-4729-af31-478f79e5071c&istFeedId=385e6b9a-8b03-4076-a8bb-e4737df8549c&istItemId=itxmxxtml&istBid=tzwt&gclid=Cj0KCQjw8vqGBhC_ARIsADMSd1CFT6NtbMVSEdKRtZfJHzejI5G59ElV9oMZpEqgHaINE2OwgMuNF9AaAiKyEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds#

Get rid of the husband. Keep the cat.

@purplemunkey

You also have your bin in the kitchen. Litter tray in the living room is yuck 🤮

It'd be a lot worse in the kitchen - the smell while eating your cornflakes would surely turn your stomach. Ours is in the office for now. When our boy is neutered in a few weeks he'll be moved out to the shed with our older cat - I can't wait. The shed has a catflap. Older cat has slept out there in his custom made bed for four years but comes in and out of the house during the day. Do you have a shed @lepetitfromage?

I had a friend who trained her cats to use the human loo, as @Couchbettato is suggesting. She started off with a cover that went over the loo seat (a bit like a toddler training seat) and gradually changed the size until they were fully trained!

We don’t have a cat flap - cat-face lets us know when she wants out and in, no messing about! We do have two trays, one in the kitchen where she sleeps at night, and another in the hall. She only uses them if she is absolutely, completely desperate, maybe once in the last year, but I wouldn’t want her to be “caught short” in the night.

Get a one-way manflap. Problem solved.

Ok, I’ll admit that I’ve not read the whole thread but it seems that this little soul (cat, not husband) has done all he can to adapt, is clean and is starting to settle well.It would be so sad to déstabilise him again, particularly as it seems that he has done nothing wrong.Surely a compromise could be reached where the tray is not in the living room ( I have 38m2 of total living space and the tray is under the sink in the kitchen) and cat and husband each have their own space?

I don't understand the stinky living room. Gertie is an indoor cat and the litter tray is in the living room and it really doesn't smell at all. Have you tried different litters?

First cat had a litter box until she settled in, after that we were her personal door openers. She was shut out through the day when we were all out, but was kept in at night and would cry to go out if she needed the toilet. Pretty much always used our back garden and buried it. But no litter tray meant we did have the odd (rare!) accident when we were to stupid to realise she don't want to go out to play at 3 am, she needed the loo! After she died we had 3 stupid cats that couldn't be trusted outside, we had to cat proof the back garden to keep them in, and even then they were allowed out under supervision only. We had a litter box, and they were so daft, they'd come back indoors to use it......3 cats worth of pee and poo is a lot. So we invested in a Litter Kwitter and trained them to use the downstairs toilet. Worked very well until age/illness meant we needed the litter box again. Sadly now all 3 deceased.

@sunshinesupermum

I don't understand the stinky living room. Gertie is an indoor cat and the litter tray is in the living room and it really doesn't smell at all. Have you tried different litters?

I was thinking this. It could be worth trying different food as well, let's just say Felix didn't agree with him! Harry's litter tray is in the bathroom but it never smells. I use clumping litter and scoop regularly and put it in a doggie bag that goes in the bin.