Husband wants rid of cat

[lepetitfromage]

Yes, I know I should LTB 😁😁 but hear me out.

He reluctantly agreed to let me get a rescue cat a couple of months ago, I've posted pictures of our handsome puss here before. He's settled in very well after a couple of weeks of hiding, though I'm not sure he'll ever be the lap cat I hoped for. But has lots of funny little habits and definitely knows we are his family. Loves the kids. Not aggressive at all. We let him out after about 4 weeks and he'll always come back after a little wander about. Has tried to kill birds a few times (succeeded at least once) but has a bell now and has been very well behaved. Always, always uses his litter tray and is generally a good boy.

So far so good, you'd think. The issue is my husband hates having a cat. Can appreciate that Tom is a lovely cat and well behaved, though he's not buying the personality traits that we ascribe to the cat, thinks he's pretty boring (he's more of a dog fan). His main issue, however, is that the cat has taken over our living room. His litter tray is there because there's nowhere else to put it - I wouldn't have it in the kitchen, the downstairs loo and hall are way too small, so what else can we do? His climbing tower (of little interest to him tbh), water bowl and bed are in the living room too (though of course he sleeps on the couch!). We do have a second family room but DH feels that the cat has taken over, the room stinks and we've basically lost it to the cat. Me and the kids try very hard to keep it clean but there's no denying the cat sheds a lot of hair and though it is a covered tray and I clean up mess immediately, there's definitely a smell that wasn't there pre cat.

So what are the options?

1. Get rid of the cat
2. Get a cat flap (DH refuses)
3. Put the cat outside permanently
4. Any other options??

Me and the kids have got very attached but honestly, DH is miserable and was not really prepared for the disruption. I obviously love my husband more than I love the cat but equally I don't want to upset the kids. How can we fix this? And apologies for the epic message!!

Get a cat flap and move the litter box outside until the cat learns to go outside. DP can’t have everything his way and the cat flap is a compromise.

I had a litter tray indoors but my rescue cat never used it and would wait for me to come home from work so he could go outside so I got rid of it.

@TableNiner

I don’t think your DH can have it all ways. The family has taken on this commitment and it’s a bit late now. It would be very cruel to re-re-home a rescue cat, particularly when it seems 75% of you are happy to provide a loving home. A cat can easily live 20 years. I think your DH needs to take a hit with the patio door. What’s the worst that can happen?

Well said.

Cat flap and then you can start to remove the litter tray.

Dh doesn't like it? Well he should have thought about that before agreeing to get a cat. And not just any cat, but a rescue cat.

Besides it'll give him something to moan about for years to come and all men like to have a Permanent Moan Subject

Cats can hold their wee for ages as they drink very little. So, if the cat goes out later in the evening then it has a chance to poo, so why would it need a litter tray at all.

I love cats and have always had a cat. But you lost me at litter tray in your living room. That is seriously gross especially since the cat goes out. I'm team DH on this. YABU,

Having a litter tray in kitchen is absolutely grim, shity cat litter flung about where you prepare food? No thanks.

I just put my cats out of a night, or let them out when they cry at the door. No catflap or tray.

I've never had a cat flap. My cats meow at the door when they want to go out and meow at the door when they want to come in. Why do you even need a litter tray? Have to say the thought of cat shitting in tray next to my sofa while I'm watching Corrie is a bit gross. Your DH does have a point.

why isn’t puss going to toilet outside?
*Train your cat to toilet outside seems the obvious solution.
*Change the tray more often /get one of those sealed trays.

• Vacuum

A cat is way less maintenance than a dog, please don’t let your DH ever get a dog!

I'm a dog person so totally with your dh. I think he's already compromised by agreeing to you getting a cat. It shouldn't be taking over the front room; that's where you sit and relax.

Take out the climbing tower, bed, water bowl and above all the bloody cat litter. Put them all in the 2nd family room or the kitchen.

Btw, thank you for getting a litter tray. As a stray, it would have been happy to go outside but it wouldn't have gone in your garden; it would have gone in your neighbours. (I'm feeling particularly pissed off about the subject at the moment because I have a pair of shoes outside my back door which I have to clean at the weekend - I trod in some hidden cat shit the last time I went out in my own garden).

I have three cats, and they don't cause any disruption in my house..well cat hairs of course. I have a cat flap in my small kitchen, so the three of them go in and out as they please. They all sleep in a row at the end of my bed at night, on a fleece blanket thing.

We had a cat growing up and she would just meow to let us know she needed to go out to toilet. When she wanted to come in she would hope up onto one of the downstairs external window sills and scratch to come in. Can you just try letting your cat work out how to communicate his needs?

Cat litter in the living room is vile.

3 Is out of the question. No point getting him to return him to the streets especially in winter.

We have the tray in the kitchen too. I wouldn’t have it in the lounge.

My family got a cat when I was about 12 and I hated it. I am not an animal person and felt very wary of it until it died when I was in my early twenties. So I do feel for your husband because as much as cats are less full on than dogs they are still disruptive. It's a bit too late to get rid of it though.

Its absurd not having a cat flap - why? it can go through a wall or glass.
Also there is no way I'd have a litter tray in the living room, no, no, no, I'd rather lose the downstairs loo.

Cats like to dig when they do a poo, have some "attractive" areas of turned over soil in your garden. I have never had a cat flap and only used a litter tray with kittens or when we've been away and the neighbour looked after the cats. Get rid of the tray now the cat is going out and the cat will toilet outside.

Hi OP, two cat flaps, one in the door between the inner hall and front hall, and one in the front door, does not seem excessive to me, especially if it will solve your and your DP's problem. You also mentioned that you could give the downstairs toilet room to your cat, if it is hardly ever used, then that also could be your answer.

Please keep your cat's food and water bowl in your kitchen, I don't see how any of you could find that gross!

By the way the RSPB asks that everyone keeps their cats in at night, as that is when cats kill the most birds apparently, and mice etc. I am not sure that a bell on a cat's collar is fair on the cat, I know that I would hate to have a bell ringing by my ears everytime I moved - my tinitus drives me mad enough as it is!

Build a catio in your garden if you have room, lots of ideas on pinterest.

If possible connect it to a cat flap from your house.

Then you can keep the litter tray and accessories in the catio.

This is crazy. Even if you don't have a cat flap there's no discernible reason why your cat can't learn to come and go via a door. All the cats I've lived with have done that. No cat litter after the first few months. Invariably, once they get used to the outside world they completely turn their noses up at the cat litter, so it could be confidently thrown away.

They're very clear about when they want to go out - and one only has to glance at the cupboard containing their food (or shake the bag) for them to race back from wherever they are in the vicinity. (Usually.) Sometimes they prefer to spend the night outside. Generally they're sensible enough to come home if it's raining, or they find somewhere to shelter.

No way would I live with a litter tray in the house long term. There are enough of you in your house to do door duty. Some cats are extremely polite and will verbally thank you for letting them in!

Why can't you put a catflap in a wall (as several people have already asked)?

@milinhas

Get a cat flap!! Why on earth doesn’t he want one? You could put one in a window pane if that would be less obtrusive?

Sorry to detail the thread, but I didn't know this was possible! I need to look into it.

Back to OP. The cat is a small, helpless creature and deserves a permanent home with people who care for him. I once had to rehome my pup because my exh was abusive towards her and I couldn't keep her safe from him. I wish I'd dumped the ex first and kept the puppy.

Hair everywhere and your house smells I'm with him .

@notangelinajolie

I've never had a cat flap. My cats meow at the door when they want to go out and meow at the door when they want to come in. Why do you even need a litter tray? Have to say the thought of cat shitting in tray next to my sofa while I'm watching Corrie is a bit gross. Your DH does have a point.

Agree. Unless the house is empty for hours on end, I don't think you need a flap or a litter tray.

The husband is getting a lot of heat on here, but it's the OP's cat and she should have thought through the practicalities before getting it. A litter tray in the sitting room is absolutely minging.

Some cats are extremely polite and will verbally thank you for letting them in

You are deluding yourself. The mew means 'What took you so long?' 😉

@lepetitfromage

As an aside, can anyone explain how a litter tray in the kitchen (where we store, cook and eat food) is preferable to a living room? Or do all have ginormous kitchens??

My kitchen is tiny. But it goes in the alcove where the dishwasher/tumble dryer would be. Next to the bin. It's a covered tray. Absolutely no way would it go in my living room.

Having a cat flap, might not be the solution, especially if your DH doesn’t like dead birds, mice being brought in. Someone I know had the cat flap taken away for this very reason!

I would be using your downstairs toilet, either by putting the cat flap in the wall, the litter tray or getting the cat to go in and out of the window. I would also leave it’s food & water in there.