Captain V and Paws, rulers of the world

[ClientQ]

Ollie is terrified of the fan but likes the breeze. So he's lay on me where it's safe

My three spent yesterday afternoon in the garden hiding in the bushes. Got them in before the thunderstorm. Then they took it in turns to lie across the stairs to trip me. I already have a broken arm ffs!

We had a few spots of rain. Now sun is out again. It’s way too hot so I’m hoping that storm is heading our way. ⚡️

Bastard cat has just presented me with snake #2 . He genuinely has no brains whatsoever! Trotting round the garden, proud as can be with a bloody great snake hanging out of his mouth

Oh no, Just!
What did you do?

I'm guessing t's either a grass snake or a slow worm, probably the former as I think you said you live in/on Fen land and they LOVE swimming. In which case they aren't venomous - if it was an adder (only venomous snake in the UK) and it was still alive then it would be Bastard Cat to the vets time!

Just be prepared to have to bath Bastard Cat, as they exude a foul smelling substance if attacked!

Morticia has had enough. She’s packaged herself up ready to be posted to the highest bidder 🙂

I'm very tempted to make you an offer

I have failed as a mother.

I have run out of Lick-e-Lix.

Leroy is on the phone to CPL.

Oomies are not an acceptable alternative. They are an accompaniment. Apparently.

😔

I am half dead after doing 3 months' of charity donations in a week. So dead, in fact, that Capns just eaten the M&S beef stew off the plate as back so bad I couldn't reach to snatch plate back

Now , anyone who likes a bargain, get thee to a chazza in a week or two. We've got so much stuff we're only selling the cream of the crop and that at a pound to get shot quick. Need to make space in case a bag crushes a customer.

Best bit: loads of people couldn't send their online shopping back in lockdown so half the donations are brand new Zara hauls, new men's suits, endless new sandals and heels, Asos, M&S, you name it.

Every charity shop will be doing similar, they all run on the same lines. Our charity is not as facked as the big ones are, as we don't have 300 layers of management on 70k pa to feed, but we're still battling to keep show on road.

Me too! 'Dear mortgage provider, I am sorry I have not made my payment this month but I have put in a bid for a cat that I have admired from afar for ages. I know you will appreciate that this is a very logical decision and that you will support me going forward'.

Sorted I think. Actually I don't really think it would be remotely ethical to separate Top Internet Cat Sisters

Gomez is also boxed and ready to go. Just need to entice Wednesday in now...

@Supersimkin2 well done with the donations. I’m back 8/7 with a view to opening 15/7. Our donation room is rammed from pre lockdown so we have a week to clear it and reorganise the shop. Fortunately we have volunteers booked in to help us... I am limited as my arm is still healing.

Don't overdo it @swampytiggaa. We all know the feeling - totter in swearing blind you'll be in and out on time, and 14 hours later you are wheeled out on the electricals trolley praying loudly for death

Watch that arm, love, they don't sell those in the 50p bin.

Massive row in shop - you be the judge: like me, one of the vols has been vol-ing for ages and gives it all she's got. Unfortunately the poor girl is having a horrendous nervy b, thanks to her proper job at the sharp end of social services. She goes daily to her specially-trained shrink. Anyway, she took the day off at 0 notice after the counselling left her in floods. The Manager rang her to a) threaten to sack her b) refuse to pay her lunch expenses as she'd bought a pricy loaf of bread and nothing else. Only Meal Deals acceptable, which it doesn't say anywhere in the guidelines.

Reasonable? Come on everyone, help me start the revolution here.

Ollie also available. Obviously I needed a scarf in this weather. Starting bid of £1

We don't sell real fur. But if there's no label, who's to know?

Were a sale finalised, you can get 20p tax back.

Just saying.

Knowing our luck a customer will start hassling for a BOGOF on Paws.

@Justonedayatatime11 to clarify, we do not sell fur or snakes.

I don't want to discuss the 14-foot python I got once. The Natural History Museum were brilliant & explained how to avoid arrest and a fine - get rid in the bus stop bin at midnight.

A handy tip, eh @Justonedayatatime11.

Paws has been in, done side eye at the scary fan, eaten all the food, patted Ollie on the head and vanished back out

@Supersimkin2

Don't overdo it *@swampytiggaa*. We all know the feeling - totter in swearing blind you'll be in and out on time, and 14 hours later you are wheeled out on the electricals trolley praying loudly for death

Watch that arm, love, they don't sell those in the 50p bin.

Massive row in shop - you be the judge: like me, one of the vols has been vol-ing for ages and gives it all she's got. Unfortunately the poor girl is having a horrendous nervy b, thanks to her proper job at the sharp end of social services. She goes daily to her specially-trained shrink. Anyway, she took the day off at 0 notice after the counselling left her in floods. The Manager rang her to a) threaten to sack her b) refuse to pay her lunch expenses as she'd bought a pricy loaf of bread and nothing else. Only Meal Deals acceptable, which it doesn't say anywhere in the guidelines.

Reasonable? Come on everyone, help me start the revolution here.

Reminds me of when Mary Portas did a series on "helping out" small shops. She tried to apply standard business practice to a charity shop, and treated the ancient old dear volunteers like they were paid staff (average age seemed to be around 80). OK SOME of the ideas were OK, like changing the windows more frequently, but trying to make people multi task when they've only ever been the one who sorts the incoming bags, and forcing them to swap roles around after only doing the one thing for the last 40 years, ended up with a shop staffed by the manager shared by 3 shops, one paid staff member and one younger volunteer who was filling in time before starting college.

I lived near that branch, and it closed a few months later.

Oh forgot to say, she was also trying to insist that the volunteers should do more hours, so e.g. "Doris" who could only cope with one day a week was told she had to come in at least 3 days all consecutively. "Doris" was 83, had to take a cab to the shop due to public transport being crap near her house (at her own cost), and needed a walking stick.

The paid member of staff was part time on minimum wage, and was told she should happily do x extra hours a week unpaid.

Bloody hell @Supersimkin2 if one of our volunteers can’t come in we are very concerned ask them if they are ok can we do anything and follow it up with a phone call a day or two later! We’re just glad to have people in.

Apparently we have a volunteer each day in the sorting room for the first 3 days at least. We then have at least 3 volunteers happy to work in the shop when it opens.

We are going to be open reduced hours so that we can keep on top of donations and cleaning.

Don’t you overdo it either 💕 volunteers are precious 💕

Thank you Wise Women!

That Mary Portas series was telly gold. She just didn't address the fact that there were hundreds of extremely well paid staff, but not working in the shops that paid their salaries. That's the prob with big charity - the massive, massive overheads v. the tiny, tiny resources that bring in the cash.

Posh London charity shops are shutting forever because the vols are mostly shielding and no one else will do the work. Let's hope this brings in a bit of, how shall I put this, accountability to charity HQ salaries.

We have a manager employed for 5 days and me employed for 3. We are normally expected to be open Monday-Sunday. A lot of our volunteers are over 70 but 3 of the upstairs vols are either younger or not worried too much about coming in and fortunately we have 3 shop vols the same so fingers crossed we should be ok...

I do keep thinking about volunteering in one of the (very many) local charity shops. However it costs £7.50 for over 4 hours parking at any of the closer car parks which is a big burden.

Then you have the experience of a mate who did volunteering at a couple of the local shops. The DEMAND that she attended certain hours and days. The attitude of the regional manager, very much paid staff vs pleb scum. The expectations of management regarding the performance of staff e.g. one used people referred by a local mental health charity, then shouted at them when they didn't perform like the regular volunteers.

My mate packed it in finally when they "refused permission" (volunteer remember) for time off to attend an interview for a paid job.

I work for barnardos. We value our volunteers very much in our shop and I think the culture is to actually appreciate them iyswim. So we used to have volunteers from the job centre who did 16 hours a week. 4 stuck with us for the whole time - 16 weeks I think. We helped and encouraged 3 of them to gain employment and 2 still volunteer with us fitting us around their actual job. Tbh the 4th was pretty unemployable bless him but he was reliable when he came to us.

Our older volunteers have been with the shop between 7-15 years which is amazing. So we must be doing something right...