Cat chat - 100 slave tips

[YesQueen]

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Thanks, that’s another idea for a Xmas present.

YesQueen - I have a vision of you in a waiter's outfit with a giant salmon oil dispenser, rather in the style of the oversized pepper grinders , asking Sir if he would like some seasoning!

Paw holds to all of you on here. It never rains but it pours.

@TheLongRider pretty much!
Except I was in pjs holding the pump bottle going "really? One drop of this and you will eat it? Oh FFS"

Olli's developing his palate.

Ollie is developing something. He spent yesterday evening hurtling in and out the window, stopping Paws coming in, running off with my moisturiser top, batting a ball around and then flaked out on my lap snoring away

Intruder! Mama!

Intruder eating MAH dinner, by any chance?

Intruder having KISSES

Asbos had 5.5 pouches of gourmet and gently laid down to sleep looking like a cat who’s eaten all the pies & has a food hangover.

Over-eaters remorse has set in.

@Fluffycloudland77 I'll swap you for a 3.4kg teeny black weirdo that's consuming 5 pouches a day, zooming around and acting like I'm starving him. P.s don't forget his salmon oil or you'll get glared at

5.5? Kin Ell, that's good going.

Look at darling little Paws, he must come in tonight, it's raining.

Hear me now - a confession only you will ever know. Just had Mr C's memorial dinner out with mates. Sea bass, he would have approved. But I kept having to go out to release not ladylike grief, but MASSIVE FARTS.

The second time I scuttled round the corner and let rip, the bliss, a bloody mastiff on a walk across the road pricked up his ears and barked at me

The third time I nipped out my mate said 'Enjoy that fag'. If I'd lit up London's fashionable Balham Village would be Chernobyl now.

Who knew grief was relentless flatulence? Bet asbo sympathises after the Five Pouch Festival.

My mate has suggested a new restaurant to visit. Near Battersea Cats' Home.

Lana!

Evening

She's home 😁

She's on 3 weeks house rest though, so you can imagine because she's
A prolific hunter, it's going down like cold cat sick

She's all glossy and growing in her winter coat, she's also got a cat litter
In the conservatory. She came and got her Dad, he followed her to the litter
She patted it with her paw and looked at him.

He emptied it and re filled, and she duly had a no2 straight away 👀😖
She has tried every window to find a way out, and is stalking the house at night
She's going to be a nightmare, she's hating it.

Glad to have her home though

The relief must be immense, hopefully it will be too wet out anyway & she won’t mind too much.

Super Sounds like a lunch date is in order.

Oh Guilty best news ever :)

You must be so pleased to have the princess back. Patting the litter!! Brainiac. She's so obviously delighted to be home.

Aww, really good news Guilty.

If your humans are too lazy to open the blind take matters into your own paws.

Do not be swayed by the small fact that it’s the exact same view as the other window with the permanently raised blind & folded up fleece.

Oops.

Gotta love cat logic!

He really is quite beautiful.

He’s been sick 3 times today, monitoring for Sunday surgery.

Maybe 5.5 pouches and two this morning wasn’t a great idea.

Let him go without (rather you than me) for 12 hours and see if the puking stops.

He’s not done it since about 6pm. Had a drink and a wee.

He does look sorry for himself though, it was me last weekend.

Oh bad luck for both of you.

I fully realise the cat-astrophic impact of what I am saying re asbo's mental health, but water only till breakfast.

Maybe salmon oil might cheer him up after recovery.