The adventures of Newerboy

[Lanaorana2]

I've got a Siamese cat. He was abandoned by his owner and is living in state - three nests made by neighbours - in our garden. He is absolutely beautiful, aged 11, and a white/cream colour, brown eyes I think. So far we have blinked at each other, me flat on face behind bush in garden.

The lady who feeds him is going away for 6 weeks. She is in a royal state of anxiety so I stepped in. Have been trained to do the feeding, leg massage, etc.

His history is shameful. He has been coming to us for food for ages, finally taken to Battersea, where his so-called owner collected him in 90 minutes. Then left him to starve. So you see I can't not.

Any words of wisdom? I need them.

I think Ollie has got into the gin
We had zoomies and now he's doing this. Not a clue

He's too hot. (But happy with it,)

He's still refusing to budge off the sheepskin

That's as it should be. Cats love heat if they have a choice.

He will likely stay there while I go out to work

mr c is hugging my arm and not letting me tell fluffy asbo may have, er 'fallen in love and want to play' with the dressing gown in dead of Xmas night.

Nooo asbo isn't into that mucky stuff. He's innocent in the ways of the world.

So, innocent that he is, he'll just spray on it.

Then shag it. Known as a Prince Andrew, I believe.

The worlds happiest cat

Asbo is a good boy.

I've already had to explain the calendar to Dh "this is cat porn" & "who's xxx on this card?" Me "it's a cat, he's drawn a paw print"

Asbo has never done nothing wrong, never. That fact is in print.

Tell DH the paw print is 'Hugh Jackman's secret sign off'

Mr C is loving this telly day with snacks day and sends his respects.

How is the lad? (I'm busy reminiscing about the old days. (Being able to leave birds to cool unmolested.))

He was so darned quiet about the whole enterprise as well.

You may be the only person I know, Ollivander, who buys/judges gifts by their ribbon wrapping.

How much did PB get? Bless his tiny furry festive heart.

Mr C has had HAM. We are in favour.

Rtbbon face rides again...

cozie - my dad actually brought me ribbon separately from presents for him!

I can understand that, Ollivander. If I had to buy for you, then at the least I'd be ogling the wrappings section before choosing the present.

Not too much, Lana. I 'felt' the quietness.

The little tinker! First Xmas at home! I am very ashamed to say Mr C has asked me to pass on his Warmest Congratulations. 'Stealing doesn't count at Christmas' apparently. My animal is a poor mentor.

PB really is enjoying himself, isn't he. So am I - finally hitting the wine after supervising you know who all day. My parents have bought me Fuck All for Xmas and not rung to thank me for their cashmere gifts. Chenin Blanc is very crisp and delicious, recommended.

I got teaspoons from my mother
At least I was only there for an hour, before returning home to realise that turning the fridge down last night ( seemed a bit warm) was a mistake. Everything was frozen, including the salad!
Still it all got cooked in the end and was enjoyed.
The cat was pleased with his haul.of cat salami, toys and more Lik-e-liks than he's ever seen in his life!
Raising a glass of Barolo to cats everywhere!

You did officially worst Weeds teaspoons

'i have measured out my life in coffee spoons' you should bemoan next time you have to visit.Eliot wrote that bit of the Waste Land when his then wife Viv was pissed all the time, the coffee spoon was more of a decanter in her case.

Cheer up eh. No more pricy gifts from me, I suggest you do the same. Mr C smothers everything with cathair anyway so they can't refund them :)

An appropriate line Lana !
I've actually had a really nice day, relaxed, just me, OH and the cat.
A lovely shoulder of wild boar for dinner.
Champagne and now watching the traditional festive misery on EastEnders 😂

Well Aldi faux cashmere for them next year then.

Oooh do Aldi do faux cashmere?!
Has anyone tried the Webbox chocolate mice? They look really cute, but have been rejected by fussy boy!