A wrong kitten choice or am I being a snob?

[meadowquark]

Hi. Would have never considered pet, but could see how DS1 loved cats at my parents during summer holidays, and how calming and natural it was for him (he has a short fuse). So researched and decided to get a ragdoll. All good.
We went to a breeder this morning and had a choice between a colorpoint and tabby ragdoll. I set my eyes on the colourpoint, but DS1 loved the tabby. The colourpoint was and I liked that, and the tabby was a bit passive but DS1 liked it because he could cuddle it. Finally, as the cat is mainly for DS1 benefit, I let him choose. What disappointment - he chose the tabby. In my eyes it is quite bland ?? I was driving home all stressed that I am paying lots of money for the cat that I did not like in particular and gave up on the other one. I have probably done the right thing, but my heart is crying.
We will collect the tabby in 3-4 weeks. I feel bad that I feel no joy, and selfish at the same time.
Did I do the right thing?
DS1 is 7. I expect him be the cat's main friend. But eventually I am in charge. What if I resent the cat for being not the one I would have chosen?

[SuburbanRhonda]

My one is a pale blue tabby. I was after a blue colourpoint (or a seal even). I hope mine will grow a bit darker than it is at the moment.

You're really not listening to a word anyone's saying on here, are you, OP? (except for people posting about how gorgeous ragdoll cats are). Please don't get this cat. You're completely missing the point about what it means to have a pet

[Wearyheadedlady]

OP I think the resident cat people have been hard on you. You are right, some people, myself included really have to connect with a specific pet in order for it to work. I completely adore my cat. I found her at a rescue when she was 6 months old and she is a Russian Blue who came over to me and wove between my ankles while I was there to look at a different cat altogether. She is a beautiful pet and has an amazing, gentle personality. So that's that.

There are people however who just see the need in an animal and that the need is not being met at the rescue. They are self-less enough to take on animals simply because the animals need them. I have seen this at adoption events in Los Angeles. The ugliest, rattiest looking little dogs are fawned over because they simply need the most love.

There are all kinds of pets and all kinds of pet owners. You'll be fine with your cats. And your son will too.

[shutupanddance]

Get rescues

[MrsMummyPig]

animals don't tend to be selfish and horrible
You've obviously never met my cat!
He's a tabby and white shithead shorthair and he chose me by climbing in my handbag for a snooze while I played with his brothers and sisters. He is our boss and truly gorgeous. I had no real preference on colour but I knew of someone who had to have a grey cat so that the hairs didn't show up so much on her grey carpet. It moved in with the family down the road about six months later ( by choice I think)
OP you really don't sound committed enough for what you are taking on, looking after a cat properly (or any animal) is a huge responsibility.

[VenusRising]

I think everyone is slightly hysterical about the op tbh :-)

She's chosen a breed of cat, so no point banging on about her not getting a rescue cat

Her DS liked a colour cat she wasn't really wild about, ok, so she has a preference, why jump down her throat! She has a preference, so what... It's not a rescue cat, she's paying for this cat- you get to choose the colour and the cat.

No point derailing the thread about cat breeds Vs rescue cats. Or private schools Vs state schools or anything else that gets you going!

Her DS chose a cat who was a little better at being picked up at this age... So, would you think he should have a spitting slasher, or a shaking, timid kitten?

Let's keep our perspective here- her DS has a short fuse, and this animal will help him be calm and soothed. No need to bang on about how she is somehow using the cat, or some such nonsense- all pets are therapeutic, or we wouldn't have them.

Op I do think you may find that the kitty your DS chose might well become more active once he's not with all the other sibling cats! You may find that he's a bit more lively when he's alone, and for that reason I wouldn't get the colour point as well.

Best of luck with your kitty, and your DS. I'm absolutely positive you'll all fall in love with this little tabby snuggle puss.

[Wearyheadedlady]

Venus. I was not hysterical. Nor did I derail the thread. Did you actually read everything? Your post sounds a bit hysterical to be really fair.

[VenusRising]

Weary, I wasn't pointing the finger at any poster in particular, just that the op was in for a lot of unnecessary (and rather hysterical IMO) bashing.

She's made a choice of which breed of cat to get, and has a preference for a colour, so everyone can calm themselves, as that' decision's not going to change no matter who says what.

Whatever her decisions are, she's come to them herself and she's entitled to do whatever she wants.

Going on about how she isn't fit to have a cat is going too far and is unhelpful..next well hear how she isn't fit to have her DS and his short temper is a symptom of her poor parenting or some such twaddle.



She'll do very well with this little cat I'm sure, and if there's a problem, the breeder is on the other end of the phone for help and advice. So there's no need for the banging on about how she shouldn't have a cat, just because she preferred a particular colour.

This ain't a thread about rescue Vs breed cats.
The OP's made her decision to get a rag doll breed.

Seems she's fallen foul of the Vipers for not trawling the streets for the mangiest, toothless mog for her DS.


All the best Weary!

[Wearyheadedlady]

you said everyone was getting hysterical. Only one person told her to get a rescue.

[VenusRising]

Ok weary, a lot of people said she shouldn't get a cat at all, that she's not cut out to be a pet owner.
Now that's definately ott.

Maybe you don't like the word hysterical? I don't particularly either, and sorry for using it, but it did strike me that the tone was getting rather viperish and personal about the op not being cut out to own a pet, because she prefers a particular colour of a particular breed.

Who knows, maybe the OP will find she loves being a cat's person down the line and rehome many, many black cats from shelters!
It could be this tabby raggy will be her gateway drug

[TenForward82]

Venus, get out of it. She was using quite emotive language to describe how disappointed she is that her son chose a particular colour of cat - it was "bland", she was "emotional" and "stressed", her "heart is CRYING" FFS. She has made several points which demonstrate she is not a pet person and has little idea of how to look after a cat. She wanted to get one so that it would calm her angry child down. If you can't see why these things are worrying in the lack of any other context, I'm sure you and the OP would get along great.

If she had said "I played with the colourpoint and it was so cute and we really bonded" she wouldn't have got the pasting she did. But she's said nothing to suggest that she gives a shit about this particular cat other than it's a posh breed and a nice colour that matches her designer handbag

It's all irrelevant because I'm sure she's still getting the cat. Of course she's bloody entitled to do whatever she wants, no one is suggesting calling the police on her. However, if you take note of the title of her post, she was asking for opinions, and she got them. She's being a snob.

[TenForward82]

Also, I don't have my cat because she's "therapeutic". I have her because she was homeless and alone and decided to live with us, and because she's part of the family. She's not a fucking stress toy, she's a living creature.

[Wearyheadedlady]

Got to admit though Tenforward, having a lovely cat (rescue or not) can be quite therapeutic sometimes, can't it.

I will be feeling terrible about something, probably alone in the house and the cat will just come over and head-butt me and I immediately cheer up.

[thecatneuterer]

I thought of this thread this afternoon when we got a call from someone wanting us to take in their Bengal as 'the novelty had worn off and the kids were bored of it'. It's a similar mindset in my opinion.

[SonnyNoChance]

I dont think shit for brains people should be allowed cats or pet snails for that matter.

[TenForward82]

weary no doubt it can be. My cat follows me everywhere I go, we call her "our little shadow" (she's ginger though), and I find it very comforting. But I didn't adopt her thinking "oh, her purring will be good stress relief". Getting a therapy cat for an ANGRY child is a bad move, in my opinion. As neuterer mentioned, I can see the novelty wearing off for little Tarquin very soon. I may be being unfair, but the OP needs to own the fact that that's the impression most of us got from her posts.

[Wearyheadedlady]

Yes Ten. I know you're right, I am just doing wishful thinking with the OP I think.

[BuggersMuddle]

OP - yes I chose just any cat, or rather, he chose us. BuggersMoggy ran away from a neighbour who thought a puppy and a cat in late middle age were a good combo. By mutual agreement we took him on.

He was a ornery shite, ratter and very aloof. That was years ago. He's now 16, still an ornery shite and a ratter, but quite amenable to being picked up for a snuggle, despite starting life as a semi-feral farm cat.

He has also convinced me that he is in fact the most beautiful moggy in the world and that I would always have picked him in a line up of potential kitties. I am totally not brainwashed and have always wanted an elderly moggy who looks like the Felix cat and who brings me gifts Hopefully you will come to feel the same way if you just allow yourself to get to know the cat.

Previous family cats (as kids / teens) were rescues or on one occasion a neighbour's unplanned (but probably easily avoided) cat breeding.

[meadowquark]

My goodness, you are still talking about it. There has been some further development. I finally got round to the kitten's looks (emotions overtook on the first day), but something else didn't sit quite well with me so I went to see the kitten again. This time the breeder gave me a chance to observe how this kitten interacts with other kittens (previously he was given to sit on DS's lap). The breeder tried to engage the kitten to play with toys and while other kittens played and flopped, this one just turned around and went to a corner. The breeder encouraged him again and again, but we found he just kept hiding in the most further corner. He looked timid and shy along other playful and social kittens. When I came home, I read and read on internet about timid kittens, and have decided in the end that this is probably not the right kitten for us. I saw his sister (reserved already), looking almost identical, however she was curious and friendly and I honestly wished for a cat like that. "My kitten" on the other hand looked like he was begging with his eyes for me not to take him (I may appear overemotional here again).

I am sure we would have loved him. He is beautiful. It just looked like he was not really interested and possibly would do better in a quiet household or in a pair with another kitten.

In the hindsight the breeder wasn't being awfully truthful (he is registered and all that). He kept pushing me to have this kitten. He even said he is not going to have any other kittens until spring. As soon as I said "sorry, but I don't think this one will be right for us" he said "Oh in fact I have a new litter upstairs". I pretended I did not notice what he had said before. I think he took a little bit of advantage of me being a first-time kitten buyer.

We still madly want a ragdoll but perhaps I am not so particular about the looks anymore. This time I hope to get it right which means a fairly social and friendly ragdoll kitten.

I am sure you will still find reasons to have a go at me.

^And this is what I found reading about timid kittens.
If she is shy and withdrawn with the other kittens, she will probably also be shy and withdrawn with you. You may end up with an elusive and nervous cat which does not like being handled. These are not your natural lap cats. Nevertheless, if you can spend a lot of time with the kitten and are prepared for a challenge, there can be nothing more rewarding than seeing a shy kitten transformed into an assertive adult cat. However, if you are working or spending a lot of time outside the house, meaning that the kitten will be largely on her own, it is definitely better to look for a pet with a more easy-going temperament. Also if you already have other pets, a nervous, shy kitten is unlikely to do well in this environment. This is also true for households with small children.^

[OnlyLovers]

Try a rescue cat instead? IME shelters are good at getting to know the cats' personalities and matching them with the right kind of household.

[PinkSparklyPussyCat]

Why does it have to be a Ragdoll? There are so many cats waiting for a home. To be honest, I still don't think you're the right family to have a cat, especially as your son has a short fuse, but if you absolutely insist on having one, please try rehoming rather than buying. If you adopt an older cat you will know more about it's character and whether it's suitable for you.

[Wankarella]

I have 2 ragdolls and used to breed them (registered breeder), they are all different, I had to let the cat pick the people most of the time. Lynx (tabbies) are gorgeous cats.

[meadowquark]

PinkSparklyPussyCat you are quick to judge.

Try finding a rescue cat that is not advertised as "for quiet home only", "no children" "suits a retired person" etc. I looked in the beginning but struggled.

I am looking at different breeder websites and came to realise that kittens are reserved even without viewing (because I enquired about one which is the last one available in the litter - but the litter cannot be viewed until end of September), which means they are selected purely by their looks!

[Wankarella]

Yes some people want bicolour, some want mitted and some love the colourpoints, I loved them all but liked the mitted ones to start with, I had a waiting list for them, some were asked for before they were even born.

[OnlyLovers]

Try finding a rescue cat that is not advertised as "for quiet home only", "no children" "suits a retired person" etc. I looked in the beginning but struggled.

I've seen plenty.