A wrong kitten choice or am I being a snob?

[meadowquark]

Hi. Would have never considered pet, but could see how DS1 loved cats at my parents during summer holidays, and how calming and natural it was for him (he has a short fuse). So researched and decided to get a ragdoll. All good.
We went to a breeder this morning and had a choice between a colorpoint and tabby ragdoll. I set my eyes on the colourpoint, but DS1 loved the tabby. The colourpoint was and I liked that, and the tabby was a bit passive but DS1 liked it because he could cuddle it. Finally, as the cat is mainly for DS1 benefit, I let him choose. What disappointment - he chose the tabby. In my eyes it is quite bland ?? I was driving home all stressed that I am paying lots of money for the cat that I did not like in particular and gave up on the other one. I have probably done the right thing, but my heart is crying.
We will collect the tabby in 3-4 weeks. I feel bad that I feel no joy, and selfish at the same time.
Did I do the right thing?
DS1 is 7. I expect him be the cat's main friend. But eventually I am in charge. What if I resent the cat for being not the one I would have chosen?

[ExitPursuedByABear]

I've read some weird stuff on MN but this takes the biscuit.

I am not sure any animal would be right for you.

[Feckingfeckfeck]

I have 2 rag dolls and they're amazing. You'll love the kitten I promise.

[imjustahead]

you win some you lose some. poor cat.

we have a rag doll, she's a tabby, she's an absolute cowbag (not saying they all are!)

we have a jet black rescue boy cat, boring as hell if looked at it from your eyes, but he is the friendliest chap ever.

I love them both, not sure if both love me!

[Alfieisnoisy]

It's inly because you've seen two and prefer the colouring of the other one. Am sure once it arrives home you will love it.

I have three rescue cats and one is a Ragdoll, he is the most lovely affectionate and dopey boy going but so relaxing.

[Fatfreefaff]

You did right in letting your son choose OP. But please don't let on to your son - me and my sister chose a tabby kitten instead of the black one my Mum wanted and she went on about it for years - especially went the cat died at just 6.
I thought my current plain black cat had a boring personality when we got her as my last cat was a real character but we all absolutely adore her now.
I met someone who got a cat to match her carpet so at least you are not as bad as that

[Tiptops]

You sound awful. I feel sorry for the poor cat.

Also, I have two rescued ragdolls and while they tolerate being held and cuddled, they certainly dislike it. They won't lash out, but it would be complete unfair on them to cuddle and carry them around. The longest they are subjected to being sat on a lap is while they are groomed. I hope you'll be teaching your son to be respectful of the cat, not allowing him to be touching and holding it all the time, just because the cat won't violently lash out at him.

[Tiptops]

Completely*

[JeffsanArsehole]

I've always chosen cats with the criteria of the one who needs the home most. So the black ones, the older ones, the ugly fuckers.

All whom have adored me and given me 20 years of total joy.

The idea of choosing one for its looks never occurred to me

[electricflyzapper]

Did you all pick up just any cat?

Err, yes, essentially. I contacted the Cat's Protection League, saying I wanted 2 kittens. I would have preferred tabby or ginger, but when I was offered 2 black and white moggies, I accepted. Cats are cats, at the end of the day.

[thecatneuterer]

I have, unfortunately, met a few people like the OP. Such as the ones who came to dump their cats on us for rehoming because they had changed the colour scheme of their living room and their cats were now 'the wrong colour for the room'.

I agree with those saying the OP should get a stuffed toy. Not a cat.

[Toffeewhirl]

You will be grateful for a 'passive' cat, believe me. We bought two Balinese kittens (meant to be hypoallergenic as I'm allergic to most cats) and they were bonkers for the first year: ate phone leads, tore round the house, shattered plates, broke into cupboards...etc.

You've had some harsh comments on here. But I must admit that when I initially saw the photo of our first kitten, I thought he looked quite ugly as I wasn't used to the look of Balinese cats. I felt ashamed of myself (and am embarrassed to admit it), but I couldn't help how I felt. Then I met him and fell head over heels in love with him - and hopefully you will too, whichever cat you get. Forget about the colour - it just doesn't matter.

[Northernlurker]

I think if you feel you will resent a cat for being the wrong colour then yes that's a good sign that you shouldn't own a cat at all.

[IHaveBrilloHair]

I adopted my first from a friend who had rescued her temporarily but couldn't keep her, second was a friend of a friend who had kittens, third and fourth were first cats offspring.
I honestly didn't choose any on looks, they are all different looking with different personalities, I adore them all.

[Costacoffeeplease]

I have 15 cats at the moment, most of whom have been picked up off the street, covered in fleas, and a couple who have just decided to move in, I'm afraid I find your attitude truly repugnant op, leave the poor kitten alone and with a bit of luck someone who genuinely wants to love and care for it will take it instead

[diddl]

I'm sure that you'll love it when you get it.

I have a grey & white rescue cat, absolutely love her, but there are markings that I think are more striking.

Had no idea that Ragdolls could be tabby!

[mmmuffins]

OP I am sure you will grow to love this cat. You could search for further litters in which you may find a placid cat with the colouring you prefer, but this might take a while and I'm not sure your son would understand.

For what it's worth, I don't think you are being ridiculous. You have chosen a breed that suits your family. After that, for me further choice would also be cosmetic. The way my two pedigree cats look gives me a lot of pleasure; I love watching them :)

[meadowquark]

True Poltergoose, I must admit that I had looked into rescue cats because they are adult and so personality is known, however majority of rescue adverts ask for no children or a quiet home and so I could not rely on getting a cat this way. Plus a ragdoll cat description seemed perfect.

[diddl]

I do agree though not to just let your son have free rein & assume that the cat is his for cuddles whenever he wants!

[thecatneuterer]

We home to families with children, and 7 is a fairly sensible age. The trick is to match the right cat with the right family. Very tolerant and laid-back cats are ideal and of course we know which cats would fit the bill. I'm sure we're not the only charity that does this.

[SacredHeart]

I am sure your breeder has discussed this but remember that breed descriptions are not a guarantee. My Persians (known for being "floor and lap dwellers" not jumping or climbing and mostly sitting quietly) are hello and who tear around my house and climb to the top of our 10ft cat tree to leap on each other.

Sumilarly one of the nastiest cats I met was a ragdoll, she was beautiful but a biter and scratcher. Her owner had her since birth and she hit 7 months and decided she didn't want to be held (especially not for grooming, which was daily) and fists became a runner, then a spitter, then a swipe and biter.

You need to love this cat as (especially as a long hair) brushing, bathing and removing clingons will be a constant job and one, if not done for love, can be very frustrating.

[Ineedtimeoff]

our cat chose us not the other way around. She had been brought to the place I work by the boss to kill rats and mice. She was very young and it was winter and very cold outside. She started coming into the office during the day to get a heat. We found it so difficult to put her outside in the cold every night as planed by the boss. So, in the end, to the boss' disgust, she came home with me. She is now 18 years old.

Although she was/is very cute, I can honestly say it wasn't her looks that made me take her home.

Dog is a rescue to, selected for her personality and she's cute not because she is a designer breed or the write colour!

[ilovesooty]

I'm astonished and appalled in equal measure. I do hope the new cat matches your colour scheme.

[ShadowsCollideIsSurroundedByAd]

Jaysus. It's a cat, not a carpet! You don't select the one that has the most aesthetically pleasing colouring. Much as people like to think of cats as self sufficient pets who look after themselves, they're not. They need love and affection, and they certainly need to not be resented for their colouring.

'Did you all pick up just any cat?' Well, with BigPuss, yes. She was a stray so we literally just took her in. LittlePuss was the last left of her litter and nobody wanted her because she's black and white. NewLittleBoyPuss, who will hopefully be with us in a few days, has been rehomed three times. He's apparently hard work so people keep returning him to the animal rescue. So we tend to take the kitties most in need of homes, not the cutest or prettiest ones... Though to me, my cats are all freaking gorgeous