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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

The litter tray

A wrong kitten choice or am I being a snob?

165 replies

meadowquark · 13/09/2015 15:45

Hi. Would have never considered pet, but could see how DS1 loved cats at my parents during summer holidays, and how calming and natural it was for him (he has a short fuse). So researched and decided to get a ragdoll. All good.
We went to a breeder this morning and had a choice between a colorpoint and tabby ragdoll. I set my eyes on the colourpoint, but DS1 loved the tabby. The colourpoint was and I liked that, and the tabby was a bit passive but DS1 liked it because he could cuddle it. Finally, as the cat is mainly for DS1 benefit, I let him choose. What disappointment - he chose the tabby. In my eyes it is quite bland ?? I was driving home all stressed that I am paying lots of money for the cat that I did not like in particular and gave up on the other one. I have probably done the right thing, but my heart is crying.
We will collect the tabby in 3-4 weeks. I feel bad that I feel no joy, and selfish at the same time.
Did I do the right thing?
DS1 is 7. I expect him be the cat's main friend. But eventually I am in charge. What if I resent the cat for being not the one I would have chosen?

OP posts:

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SonnyNoChance · 13/09/2015 20:08

People like OP shouldnt be allowed pets. Poor fucking kitten.

maybebabybee · 13/09/2015 20:15

Jesus wept, this isn't like purchasing a pair of shoes - it's a living creature!!

CheekyMaleekey · 13/09/2015 20:28

I agree with the others.

Someone who:
A) goes to a breeder
B) judges an animal on appearance
C) allows a child with a short fuse to be in charge of an animal
doesn't deserve to have a pet at all.

RiverTam · 13/09/2015 20:32

I'm afraid I agree with Cheeky. Please think again.

OctoberCupcake · 13/09/2015 20:51

Did you all pick up just any cat?

Basically, yes. We have a gorgeous loving cat that we adopted from a shelter as a 3 month old kitten. I wouldn't have ever dreamed of buying a cat 'off the shelf' when there are cats being put down for the want of a home.

PiperIsTerrysChoclateOrange · 13/09/2015 20:54

I got my kitten from a breeder who had no clue, later found out was no breeder at all.

I'm so glad missy has a home here as she has bought so much laughter in this house.

Ds has asd and tbh I think the kitten is helping. When he goes OTT the kitten lets him know and he has the scram marks to prove it. He has now learnt that when she makes a certain noise put her down.

elfycat · 13/09/2015 21:18

I don't agree with those saying you shouldn't get the cat. I think you should, but as with children you need to be open to accepting that you get what you get.

Cats are great.

My current cats were acquired from a neighbour who was moving abroad. DCat1 was pregnant with DCat2. The cats before that the cats were acquired because someone dumped their heavily pregnant mother at a crossroads in the countryside and I was a friend-of-a-friend of the person whose house was invaded by the mother.

My next cats (hopefully in a good while) will probably be rescue cats. I can't tell you their backgrounds as I don't know. They may well be black cats as I luffs them and they're unpopular. That Tabby you've decided on - it's in fashion at the moment.

Get the cat; get the trappings. If you'll be out the house a lot get a second cat. Get used to the idea that the great thing about cats is that they are independent but that is a good thing. Don't wear jersey materials as a claw mark means a ladder. They might find a scratch post acceptable - or it'll be a piece of furniture they are worth the sacrifice If they love then you will end up with tiny scratches all over your thighs where they sit on you. It's from love so it's all good. Cats have a body language - learn it. Partially closed eyes means trust, purring is good therapy.

Get insurance if you can't afford massive vet bills. I paid £1700 to save an eye but that was OK. He's such a pretty cat.

yeOldeTrout · 13/09/2015 21:23

I don't think OP should get such a hard time. It's always a gamble when you get a cat and most children and adults have a short fuse at least occasionally. Must admit, I can't imagine I'd ever pay £££ for a pedigree cat, though, that's just asking for extra pressure.

I have 2 boring-looking black cats, I can't think of a more boring thing to look at than a black moggie cat. We chose them because they were so friendly. They turned out to be remarkably tolerant too need it with my brats. Buckets of amazing personality.

The cat will make you properly enslaved all too soon, OP.

TPel · 13/09/2015 21:29

There should be some sort of test before anyone is allowed to have an animal. It would stamp this sort of nonsense out.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 13/09/2015 21:36

It's a cat not a bloody accessory! I feel very sorry for the poor kitten - you don't really want it and your son has a short fuse? I worry how the poor little thing is going to be treated.

In answer to your question about choosing cats, I chose Harry, my rescue cat, because he he'd been on the rescue website for months. William chose me - you wouldn't have liked him, he was stray, elderly and had health problems. I loved him though and helped him because he needed me, not because he was that season's colour.

meadowquark · 13/09/2015 22:00

I did not know that choose a kitten that you like is a crime on Mumsnet. Thanks for pointing out

OP posts:

Costacoffeeplease · 13/09/2015 22:05

You're welcome - hope you read all the posts and take the advice offered

Pipbin · 13/09/2015 22:16

I did not know that choose a kitten that you like is a crime on Mumsnet.

Not wanting an animal because you don't like the colour is sadly not a crime even though it should be.

SonnyNoChance · 13/09/2015 22:25

Whatadiv

definiteissues · 13/09/2015 22:57

It is your attitude that riles people

I agree with a couple of other posters, you don't sound like the type of person who should own a cat.

Don't be surprised if it decides to take itself off and live with someone else once you get it. Unlike dogs, cats don't have to live with you, they can and do bugger off and find a better home if they don't like where they are living. And from your attitude, it sounds very likely that the cat won't like living with you

meadowquark · 13/09/2015 23:13

It is rather emotions than attitude. I set my eyes on one and got another one. I felt bad about it and felt bad for feeling bad. I can assure that the kitten will be taken care of and happy. And my son is not a drat. And I am not a tosser. I haven't owned a cat and it has taken a while for me to be ready for it. You mumsneters who call names, I wonder how can you love your pet if you have such hatred for human beings.

OP posts:

HirplesWithHaggis · 13/09/2015 23:37

Would you consider/can you afford to take both, as has been suggested up thread? I always prefer to take kittens in pairs, even if they fall out/ignore each other as adults.

My current cat was a feral kitten found near death at the side of the road. His (now late) "sister" was a farm kitten - I specified "preferably black, female and about 12 weeks old" and that's what I got!

TRexingInAsda · 13/09/2015 23:55

You did the right thing to get the one whose personality matches better with your son. You will bond once you've looked after the cat for a bit, you may not love it now, but you will. Don't feel bad.

SonnyNoChance · 14/09/2015 00:00

I like my pets more than humans. Love for beings who cant help themselves shows more nice ess than people who love humans

maybebabybee · 14/09/2015 01:09

Cheeky I got my cats from a breeder. I tried to get rescue cats but sadly I tried a few different shelters and they would not give us one as (a) DP and I both work full time and (b) they thought by our age we would have kids soon and then give the cats back. I grew up with cats and want my kids to be around them too!

So please don't judge those who go to breeders, I know a few people who have done this through attempting to go down the rescue cat route and being turned down

maybebabybee · 14/09/2015 01:10

PS our breeder was extremely reputable, also has several rescue cats and runs a cat sanctuary.

Alfieisnoisy · 14/09/2015 07:34

meadow I think you've had a bit of a hard time here.

I promise you that you will love this kitten as you care for it and get to know it.

Raggys are lovely cats.

I've got a rescue one and wouldn't be without him.

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BikeRunSki · 14/09/2015 07:46

We picked a cat that needed rescuing. He looked at us pleadingly, we looked at him and we took him home. He was our friend and companion for 17 years and now he's buried under a geranium in the garden. His need for a home and our desire for a cat were what mattered.

Do you screen your dc's friends by colour too OP?

ThreeRuddyTubs · 14/09/2015 07:51

There is an obsession with rescuing on here but saying someone doesnt deserve to have a pet because they go to a breeder? What a stupid thing to say. If you want a purebred animal a responsible breeder who health tests is the best place to get one.

We have a ragdoll who only tolerates fuss and attention and if you turn her on her back she will bite you so no guarantees that just because your kitten is a raggie that it will tolerate being pulled about

mmmuffins · 14/09/2015 08:11

Do you screen your dc's friends by colour too OP?

You read some stupid replies on Mumsnet, but this one is really a winner.

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