A wrong kitten choice or am I being a snob?

[meadowquark]

Hi. Would have never considered pet, but could see how DS1 loved cats at my parents during summer holidays, and how calming and natural it was for him (he has a short fuse). So researched and decided to get a ragdoll. All good.
We went to a breeder this morning and had a choice between a colorpoint and tabby ragdoll. I set my eyes on the colourpoint, but DS1 loved the tabby. The colourpoint was and I liked that, and the tabby was a bit passive but DS1 liked it because he could cuddle it. Finally, as the cat is mainly for DS1 benefit, I let him choose. What disappointment - he chose the tabby. In my eyes it is quite bland ?? I was driving home all stressed that I am paying lots of money for the cat that I did not like in particular and gave up on the other one. I have probably done the right thing, but my heart is crying.
We will collect the tabby in 3-4 weeks. I feel bad that I feel no joy, and selfish at the same time.
Did I do the right thing?
DS1 is 7. I expect him be the cat's main friend. But eventually I am in charge. What if I resent the cat for being not the one I would have chosen?

[coffeeisnectar]

I hope you've researched what the cat needs op Because it's not just a toy. Please make sure you get it microchipped, neutered, vaccinated.... and wormed and treated for fleas monthly. It will need to be groomed daily if it's long haired and will need a mix of wet and dry food. A bed somewhere quiet and a litter tray away from its eating and sleeping area.

[Seriouslyffs]

You're not a snob, but very misguided to choose a cat on looks, it sounds like he chose on character which is more sensible.
Does anyone who knows about cats (so not you OP ) know whether Ragdolls need a lot of grooming. If so this is a very bad match.

[KaraokeQueenOfTheNorth]

We recently got a kitten, a rescue chap who had been abandoned and found as a stray all tiny and alone :( funnily enough, I had said to DH recently that I would love a little grey kitten (for very specific, and trivial, and outing reasons which I am not going to disclose!) and then I got a text from him saying his friend who works at a cat rescue had just sent him a picture of a cat they were trying to home, a little grey kitten :) and we knew he had to be ours.

So I kinda understand the choosing by colour. But I would never get a cat that wasn't a rescue.

[ohtheholidays]

Pipbin your cat is gorgeous.

OP no not all of us pick a cat because of what it looks like!Some of us don't even get to pick the cat it picks us.We've had a cat coming to our house for about 3 years now.The neighbor that is supposed to be owned by her decided they no longer wanted her and just left her outside all the time.
So we've been feeding her,treating any ill health,loving and fussing her and buying her lots of gifts each Christmas.

Now she's a Main Coone and anyone that knows that breed knows just how big they are and how much grooming they need(we're pretty sure she thinks she's part Pig as she's always rolling in mud the little bugger)but we love her all the same.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

My issue would be with the choice of breed. These cats are bred from such a small gene pool it impacts on their life span. 10-15 years is not old for a cat. My DSH tabby was 21 when she died, I have another girl, another DSH all black cat who was over looked for several months at the re homing cattery because of her age, she was 10 years old at the time. She is now 19.

You choose a breed of cat that is bred to be docile and then get upset about the colouring. You come across as very controlling, maybe your son is just fighting back trying to get his voice and opinion heard that is why he explodes.

[Gabilan]

"Did you all pick up just any cat?"

Yes. I asked Cats Protection if they had a farm or feral cat. They said they had two 8 month old kittens who were part of their Trap, Neuter, Return scheme. I got the kittens without any knowledge of what they looked like or their personalities, I just knew that they'd survived for the first 8 months of their lives with very limited human interference and were therefore likely to be able to catch the mice living in my house.

Close to a year later and I'm very happy to have two rather charming furry housemates who do keep the vermin away. Their colour is irrelevant, they are sweet, funny and more eccentric than the aristocracy in its entirety.

Oh and despite the fact that I have two and they get on, this is the exception with cats. They're territorial and often hate each other.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

I have 7 cats and they all get along just fine, in fact they all go around in groups. Very rarely do you see 1 on their own when out.

[Gabilan]

" I set my eyes on one and got another one."

Give the kitten a chance and I don't think that will matter. When I was looking for a horse I had in mind a 6 year old ex-racehorse, and definitely a mare. I ended up getting a 12 year old Irish Draught crossbreed and he's a gelding. So twice the age, 3x the width and the wrong sex. Also my least favourite horse colour. However, he needed a home and he chose me. Best decision I ever made - the horse is an absolute star and my best friend.

As the song says, you can't always get what you want, but sometimes you get what you need.

[SacredHeart]

seriously they do and as kittens to prepare them most breeders recommend daily grooming and weekly bathing. They are also prone to having poop get stuck in their pantaloons so need that cleaning off.

Any breeder worth a lick should have explained that. When I got my Persians I had two days with my breeder one doings daily groom on her adult Persians and one doing a show groom so I knew exactly what I was doing.

[RiverTam]

My 2, male/female siblings, hate each other .

[MidnightVelvetthe3rd]

Hi OP, I have a Ragdoll & she is beautiful & is calm & gentle with the children. My girl is a rescue so I didn't have a choice in colour (she's a seal colourpoint) but all Ragdolls are lovely, the tabby (also called lynx) ones have lovely tiger stripes. What colour is the tabby kitten, is she white? Lynx Ragdolls are gorgeous!

As you are paying probably between £400-£600 for a kitten then I understand that like any large purchase you want to fall in love with it & not feel as though you have chosen second best. But I think you are worrying unneccessarily as the lovely kitten will grow into a lovely cat & with a young child then a calm & gentle cat is more important than its looks.

I'd say to teach your boy how to read a cat's body language as even Ragdolls want peace & quiet sometimes. Teach him to respect the animal & that they are valid & important & have their own feelings, they are not a passive teddy. If it helps, I bought a high cat tree when we had ours just so that she had a place to escape from the kids to if she needed it, I can link to one if you want? The breed characteristics are partly why I went to a breed specific rescue but every cat is an individual so teach your son that even the gentlest cat can bite & scratch if angry or afraid.

Also did the breeder tell you that they are usually indoor cats? I have to be very careful with windows/doors as my girl would bolt & she really doesn't have the skills to survive outside. Look into window covers & be careful with doors :)

[MidnightVelvetthe3rd]

Oh also I know you have probably done your research but if you have any questions then do ask :) off the top of my head:

I groom my girl once a week, Ragdolls are longhaired but they don't have the thick undercoat of say a Persian so grooming is not a huge thing. I give mine a brush over once a week.

As she is an indoor cat then the insurance is cheaper, I get mine through Petplan & its about £8 per month. When I was first costing having a cat an outdoor moggy came in at about £13. She has to have annual jabs & she has had 3 of her teeth out. A vet's appt will cost me £30 per appt & when she had ringworm she had about 4 appts plus the medicine was £70. I claimed on the insurance but had to pay upfront at the vets & get it back minus the excess of £65 later.

I pay about £4 per week for litter, £20 per month/6+ weeks for dry food & she also has wet food twice a day which is £3.50 per week. I use Royal Canin Fit32 for her.

Any more then just ask :) I bloody love ragdolls!

[tribpot]

Just as an FYI, your son is of an age where Cats Protection would probably be happy to place an adult cat with you. We got our cat when ds was just 5. We were in fact asked about colour but only because black cats are difficult to home. Ds actually wanted a black cat so it was all good, but we wouldn't have hesitated to take whatever colour we were offered. There are always lots of rescue cats needing homes.

[meadowquark]

Hello Midnight, thank you, very useful info and similar to what the breeder said. I will PM you regarding the scratch tree. My one is a pale blue tabby. I was after a blue colourpoint (or a seal even). I hope mine will grow a bit darker than it is at the moment. Lovely to hear about your raggie.

[Hoppinggreen]

I chose my cats because they match my curtains - obviously should I decide to get new curtains I will have to get rid of the cats.

[SurlyCue]

Wow!

Emotional because a cat is the "wrong" colour

My ds picked our kitten, a ginger one. Owner called a day before we were to collect saying it had died but there was a black one left. DS sad that ginger died but happy to still have a kitten. Black one is a little shit. Tortures the dog, bites our ankles, steals toys and hides them. But we love him and couldnt imagine having a different cat now.

[isseywithcats]

as everyone here knows i work at yorkshire cat rescue and when people come to look for a kitten some people dont mind what colour or sex the kitten is, some people have a specific colour or sex in mind and all i can say is generally the ones who want a tabby, ginger or grey kitten usually go home empty handed that day and have to wait for their kitten a lot longer than the ones who dont mind a colour or sex, last week we rehomed a black kitten who was the most adorable friendly chatty lap kit character ive met in quite a while, we could probably have found him half a dozen homes

[SurlyCue]

im also loving how
Would have never considered pet

Becomes
We choose pets to our liking, in terms of breed, colour, personality.

You do, do you? Despite never having considered a pet before?

[TenForward82]

I am seriously worried about this cat. I seriously doubt OP is able to teach her child about animal behaviour and the fact that it is not a teddy bear. At the first sign of independence I fear the cat will be thrown across the room by the "short fuse" DS. Any misbehaviour and god knows what the OP will do with it.

Our rescue cat is a ginger tabby. I've had 4 domestic shorthair cats in my life. They all had/have individual adorable personalities and I valued that far above what they "looked like".

At the very least I hope you let this cat into your heart and start seeing it as part of the family, not a fashionable accessory.

I really wish people had to take exams before they were allowed to own animals.

[Hoppinggreen]

I used to volunteer as a Home checker for CPL, the only person I ever turned down was very much like OP - thought it was a toy/fashion accessory rather than an animal.

[somewheresomehow]

hope you realize that this ragdoll that you dont like will have to be groomed by you at least 6/7 times a week to get all the matts out and their fur gets everywhere

[Ubik1]

It doesn't matter what breed it is, it will still vomit on your carpet at 5am.

[Bellebella]

Ffs it's a cat. You hope it gets darker? Emotional because it's not the right colour. Hope you treat it well, what you are saying suggests otherwise

[TenForward82]

Just re-read your OP, and see you haven't got the cat yet.

OP, please don't get this cat. Don't get any cat. Whether you want to hear this or not, you are clearly not a pet person, and I doubt your DS is either. Have you read up on the things that cats do, their behaviour, the chaos they can cause? Please do not get this pet to "calm" your DS. Especially do not get it if you will resent it, or either you or your DS will get bored of it once the novelty wears off, or worse, get angry with it if it doesn't do what you want it to. Cats are thinking and feeling animals - please do not choose to live with one of you cannot see it as truly a part of your family.

Your heart is crying? My heart is crying at the thought of a cat going to a home where it will be discarded, ignored, or worse, mistreated, by people who do not understand the joy and companionship an animal can bring. Please don't get this cat.

[definiteissues]

In response to how can you care for animals if you are mean to humans - I have always liked cats and other animals better than people.

Animals don't tend to be selfish and horrible