Outdoorsy Shite Top Trumps: March

[Slubberdegullion]

Flora or Fauna.

Extra points for a photo.

Handicap will apply to those in Forrin. Monthly win will not automatically go to, for example, a Cougar spot. The Cougar will need to be doing something awesome, like fighting a bear or doing sudoku.

Oh God, don't. With fringe events around the country ("It's YOUR Olympic ceremony!") which turns out to consist of some regaliaed local dignitaries with slightly pained expressions watching some fat local children doing a dance they've made up themselves, wearing leggings and t shirts.

YEAH

where are all the morris dancers and cheese rollers eh? Why isnt the olympic torch just in the shape of a giant cheese that can be rolled around our Great nation.

no vision these locog folk

Anyway I saw a carpet of speedwell on my dog walk today and thought it most attractive.

I am now imaging a Hollywood blockbuster. 'Not Without My Bobble Hat', a tale of intrigue, passion, rare birds and wellies.

Oops. Thread had moved on...

Am laughing proper belly laughs at *Northey's description of local dignitaries and fat, local children

Boldfail.

I've suffered it too many times, ariel. It's always leggings and t shirts. And sometimes a coloured sash.

I would really really love it though if the opening ceremony were a gigantic maypole dance. A kind of "Fuck you, snazzy previous hosts, with your waterfalls and lasers and flying. We're just going to hold some ribbons and skip round this big post."

Are you mayor?

No, no, just in passing.

I said a long looong while back, just after we got the games that German Shepherd dogs jumping through slightly rubbish and non-perilous hoops of fire should feature in the Opening ceremony.

EVERYONE loves an excited dog jumping through a fiery hoop. fact.

and a falconry display. Saw one in Austria last year, all in German it was, didn't matter one jot. Big old bird with talons catching a bit of chicken swung about, that is internationally pleasurable that is.

Fits the nature theme, too. Though again the other nations would be helplessly confused as they saw us biting back tears pf emotion at the sight of a collie wriggling through a series of plastic tunnels in the shape of the Olympic rings.

But we wouldn't want German Shepherds would we - oh, hang on, the royals are a bit German aren't they so that should be OK.

Saddleworth is a bit of a haven for Morris Men - We have the rushcart which could be a centrepiece, and then the olympic torch could set fire to it at the end.

We have Garland Girls as well (titter ye not).

Just seen my first ladybird - hurrah.

Still no lambs

Old English Sheepdogs. Everyone loves an Old English Sheepdog. I don't know how good they are at anything other than snoring gently on hillsides though.

I love German Shepherds.
And I love Border collies.
And I love Golden Retrievers.

I'm not keen on any other sorts of dogs.

Northey who cares if they like it or not, we're the buggers paying for it. They can press the red button and look at Her Majesty for 5 mins if the dog display doesn't do it for them.

That's the true spirit of international relations, slubber. "Here, have a look at the Queen while we footle around being interested in animals."

I've often thought (and may even have said) that in the Rugby when the kiwis do their fearsome tongue-sticky outy thing, the English team should respond with some equally fearsome Morris Dancing. It is a martial art isn't it?

I really think all your wonderous ideas need transferring to a new thread for the benefit of non Top-Trumpers. They're too good not to share.

Wot got us an Empire that did.

or something

Who will do it? Norf, I propose you.

Oh no, you do it.

I am too busy practising for the new Olympic sport of Being Polite and Retiring.

I'm not doing it. I'm too new round these parts.

Slubber can do it.

Ferrets ! Why has no-one mentioned ferrets? Would they beat Bolt over 100m?

Oh and the blackthorn is out of bud and into flower, a positive frenzy of lace. The postman nearly didn't escape without a very determined pet lamb (enterprisingly put its self forward for adoption. Have also washed the bobble hat and am awaiting the call.