Still struggling with sadness after losing our dog

[Dazedandconfus]

Hello - I just wondered if anyone else is also really missing their dog 😢.

We lost ours 11 weeks ago and I'm still just so sad.

She was old, and I knew it was coming, and thought I would cope better than this.

I was keeping a close eye on quality of life, and thought we were ok for a little while, but knew when the time came, I would like to give her a last, wonderful week and then a peaceful send off. I feel so guilty that it wasn't like that, and she got sick one night and ended up at the vet in the morning and was pts.

I can't help feeling guilty and wishing the last night had been different. Even at the vets, she managed to walk in and I thought we would be going home, so I wasn't cuddling her every moment I could and I wish I had.

I go along ok for a while, I think just with distraction, and then these waves, almost like panic, come over me where I just can't believe that she's gone and absolutely nothing can change that.

I feel we left the vets too soon, but once I knew she was being pts and was in pain, I just wanted it to happen quickly for her sake. Then we stayed for a little bit, but knew we had been an emergency appointment and people were waiting and she was gone, so after some last cuddles we left. I still remember looking back and seeing her lying there.

I did go to visit her at the crematorium for a little while and it helped to say goodbye properly.

I just have these intense waves of guilt, sadness and disbelief, panic, almost like I've left her somewhere by accident and don't know where she is.

I really miss her - sorry for the rambling post, I just need to write this down.

I am so sorry for your loss.I don't think we ever really get over losing them.I guess we just (eventually) learn to live with the loss.They give us so much more than a human can in my opinion.

It is really hard, what you are experiencing is "normal". It does get better, with time, such a cliche I know. Although you will always miss her, there comes a point where you can look back and smile at the memories, retell all the naughty and funny things she did and laugh, not burst into tears (well, not all the time!) and not feel like somehow you are betraying her. I just try to hang on to the fact that I've lost before and recovered, and there was so much love that I was truly blessed to share my life with them. I also start planning bringing in a new life, it is how I cope. It usually takes a good year before there are new paws in the house, but for me it helps to think ahead.

Over a year since I lost my girl and I can be brought to tears by her photos. I miss her very much, she was elderly but so well and active I wasn't expecting to lose her when I did. I have a new dog, who is lovely but it doesn't stop me from missing her, every now and then I'm overwhelmed.

That’s where I am @Tel12 . I have a lovely bitch , who also misses her big ‘bro’, and I adore her. But he was my soul dog , and irreplaceable.

Feeling sad this evening. We were away on holiday for a week and it’s the first holiday I’ve not come back to my lovely little dog.

Missing her so much.

Also the pet crematorium we used is absolutely lovely but they did a Facebook post about their attended cremations and now I’m feeling real regret that I didn’t do this.

I had visited her to say my final goodbye but now feel I should have gone back and been there right at the end.

Sending hugs to anyone who needs them ❤️

I had some chocolate coconut biscuits the other day and suddenly realised I didn't have a little black snout begging for crumbs. I lost her last November and it still gets me at surprising moments. You will get there, I've done this several times now. I'm also going to visit the new puppy for the first time on Tuesday. She is no replacement, I wouldn't want her to be, but something new to love helps me.

Hang on in there

I lost mine last October and still tell him I miss him. Miss our walks together so much.

16 months I'm still sad but we lost my 11 week old puppy we had him.10 days he had parvovirus we went vets and he was PTS within an hour

Lost my boy in May 25. It still hurts. You did everything right for yours @Dazedandconfus try not to beat yourself up. she knew how much you loved her, right to the end xxx

My gorgeous boy is being pts tomorrow and my heart is breaking. I’ve spent the weekend telling him how much I love him and giving him anything to eat that he wanted. But I just want to go with him

@KrankySchwester I am so sorry. It is just such a difficult thing to do but the last act of love we can do.

I lost my Sheltie four months ago and miss her every day. It is very tough.

@KrankySchwester sending so much love to you today. It’s so sad but you’re doing the right thing for your much loved boy. Lots of hugs. Take things one day at a time afterwards. X

I am so relieved to have found this thread as I felt that I was over reacting/ should be over it by now. We lost our collie last September. She was 13 but it was so unexpected. I cry each day and cant go anywhere we used to take her which is annoying my family They say i just need to face it. I cant. i cant scatter her ashes. I say good morning and stroke the box each day
as someone up thread said its a club no one wants to belong to but thank you for this thread. I dont feel alone
We are all privileged to have had such wonderful dogs. We just want more of them.

It's so hard, took me a year to go back to the places we went, love and hugs to everyone on here. I'm crying unexpectedly today just from reading everyone's stories 😪. My shadow has gone too, I call his name on my own in the woods and on the hills. Where are you?

It’s just terrible. We have had a lot of dogs and it’s always hard. We always imagined we’d do all the nice last things with ours too - the last walks and meals and all their favourite things. But they stopped eating and I was so scared they were in pain. Each time I’ve felt that we made the decision both too soon and too late - too late because they felt some pain, and too soon because they still had some enjoyment. In reality it was the right time, but I turned my sadness into anger with myself. Only time - and another dog - helped me realise that.

This thread popped up again at a poignant time @Dazedandconfus as we said goodbye to my old boy last week. Hadn’t even gotten over the loss of his brother last year. Hurting 💔

@KrankySchwester sending you a hug x

I am the same. Mine is in her 11th year. I adopted her at 5 days old as she was a reject. I'm single and childless-she comes most places with me (i go to a dog-friendly gym, a dog-friendly pub!) and I WFH so we're rarely apart. I am going on a minibreak soon and I know I will really miss her, I try to pick dog-friendly places but this is for a friend's birthday so wholly unsuitable. I have no idea how I will cope when she goes, or with her ageing.

I’ve just found this thread as my eleven and a half year old frenchie was put to sleep yesterday and I was with him till his last breathe. I’m absolutely heart broken and have physical pain like a tight sinking band round my chest.

The house is so quiet and empty, I can’t stop crying and want him back home so badly. I made the decision for him to go when he started to get ill and the vet was drawing a blank as to what was wrong with him. He is/was extremely vet phobic and knew any prolonged treatment and investigations would be so traumatic for him, if not impossible.

I feel guilt that I made the decision too early but also knew I couldn’t see him get worse and suffer.

He was the sweetest, most loyal cuddly and funny little dog and I keep expecting to see or hear him. It’s like a part of me hasn’t caught up with the reality that he’s actually gone.

That is exactly where I am after having our dog pts last week. She was in pain, the drugs weren’t working but I knew she would not cope with loads of tests and interventions. It’s so hard to know if we did the right thing even though I know we did. She was 15 and had a great life but I miss her so much.

Our other did was pts in may so in really wasn’t ready to be dogless. The older dog was just going downhill so it was an easier decision plus we had the younger one to help with the loss.

I miss having them greet me in the morning or when I come home from work. I miss throwing them a bit of veg when I’m cooking. I miss them sitting on my lap. I miss all the beds around the house. I just miss them.

@RubiesandRose , @BeanNaGealai , gentle hugs from me over your losses.

Nothing hurts in quite the same way - the loss of those trusting beautiful souls.

It does help, a little to know that we did right by them, but the huge holes they leave are hard to bear.

When my soul dog died in our arms after a very short illness I was devastated and cried for some weeks. I decided to wait a year before getting another dog and by this time I was through the worst of the grief and sometimes even enjoying having more freedom. However I think I made a mistake getting the same breed and sex and fell back into waves of grief during the first few weeks of having the puppy and constantly comparing the two. The puppy is now a five year old dog and I've added a boy ( same breed). The boy was the best thing I could have done, the girl is a sweetheart but will never be soul dog, the boy is delightful.
If I lost either of them now I'd personally not wait to get another dog
I feel your pain, I think it's so complex losing a beloved pet. My DM died recently and. although I can never compare the losses somehow the pet loss was just more complicated as I felt so responsible for her.

Oh OP, I feel for you so much. Although you knew this time would come sooner or later, the shock of it happening so suddenly in the end and feeling like you didn’t have chance to properly say goodbye, have greatly amplified your grief. Your feelings are perfectly natural, and you will need time to heal. But you truly have no reason to feel guilty - quite the opposite. It’s clear how much you loved her, you gave her a long, happy life, and when the time came you put aside your own feelings without hesitation and did what you needed to do to spare her suffering - that is the greatest act of love. She is at peace now, and you deserve a sense of peace too. Perhaps you could print out some photos of happy times and put them in a frame, surround it by candles and light them when you need to feel close to her. In time, those happy memories will bring you comfort. Sending big virtual hugs to you x

@WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing I’m so sorry I only just say your post. I’m so so sad for you that you lost your old boy too. I hope you’re holding up ok? It’s so difficult isn’t it.
Sending lots of love xx

Sorry to see that others have lost their pets since I last checked in on this thread.

Sending love and support to anyone struggling. It’s just the worst time.

Thank you to everyone for kind words and sharing your own experiences. It really helps to have support from people who understand.

Missing my girl as always - still can’t believe she’s gone at times. It’s been 6 months now.
I still feel that kind of “where are you?” feeling. Can’t quite explain it. 😢