Beyond Adolescence - a thread to chat about grown up dogs, cake and anything else, excluding coffee.

[SpanielsGalore]

Not going to tag everyone as I don't know who wants to join. Welcome everyone. 😁

I have had two roofers here this morning. After the initial barking at heads appearing over the ridge, the dogs have been so good. They've sat in the garden and watched them working. Greeted them every time they came into the garden and didn't once try to bolt out of the gate. I heard one of the men telling them to 'stay' as he struggled through the gate with a bucket full of water, and then telling them they were 'good dogs'.
They've just finished and as they were leaving one commented on how calm my dogs are and not like 'normal spaniels'. See. Not all working cockers are 'high on crack' and 'manic'. 😇😇😇

Beautiful weather here today. 🌞 I unexpectedly got my car back yesterday. 🥳
Off to the woods to walk the adolescent nutter until she collapses in a heap. 😂

I hope she has a good weekend @SpanielsGalore Did they give you any idea what's made her so ill?

@SpanielsGaloreoh bless her, I am glad she is home! Hopefully the fluids have done the trick and she’s back to herself soon.

@LandSharksAnonymous Vinny is good! I just posted on the teenage thread before that he is 17 months old today. The time has flown but also dragged at the same time, if thats even possible… I have started sprouting grey hairs and I totally blame it on him.

Dd isn’t great to be honest. Thank you for asking about it. I am very worried but have no idea what to do. She is autistic and is having extreme anxiety around school because the environment is too much for her. Her attendance was really bad last term and she’s been off half the week again. She’s very academic so flies under the radar a bit when it comes to her needs. Her new school have actually been really supportive but there’s only so much they can do. She’s just so stressed and sad all the time, and spends hours every night and morning in an absolute state. I’m just sat in the car as I’ve dropped her off at a youth group she goes to for autistic girls, so at least she’s gotten out and done something she enjoys this week. Vinny has been a godsend actually as he’s the only thing that calms her down when she’s having a meltdown. He’s worth the stress 100 times over in that regard!

Ditto! I really hope she has a good weekend @SpanielsGalore. It’s always such a worry with older dogs that it might be something more serious! Feels like you and the girls have been through the wars a bit the last month or so 😔really hope N is on the mend now.

Babies had a lovely walk this morning with DMum and are apparently very happy (photo of said walk attached).

I’m not home yet…mostly because I’ve spent most of the day, again, waiting for people to send me the urgent thing I absolutely had to look at yesterday - when I was off sick - that I dragged myself in today to look at. I’m still waiting for it! I’m giving them another 15 minutes (as of 18:45) then buggering off home. I’m hoping they have some big cuddles for me when I get back…

@YorkshireFelix i’m sure Vinny is worth every single grey hair!!

I’m sorry to hear your DD is still struggling. Would tutors be a possibility and perhaps her only going in for classes she enjoys and coming to an agreement with her and the school about what days/classes might work and then sitting in the library or somewhere quiet when she is struggling? I know it’s tricky with schools not being flexible, but it might work? DSis has arranged for similar for my nephew (admittedly, he’s at a Grammer so it might be different), but he will stay in classes for lessons he feels he can attend and then sit in the library for self study to try and de-compress if he doesn’t think he can manage or if the teachers think he’s showing signs of struggling. He always explained it as he felt trapped in classes and overwhelmed but this does seem to have helped him. He still struggles, and his attendance isn't fantastic (like your DD, he gets overwhelmed and works himself into a bit of a state where he ends up making himself panic or sick), but it's definitely helped.

I am sorry though it’s awful watching your child struggle and not being able to help ❤️

Edit: I pressed send to soon...stupid fat thumbs (that'll be all the cake I consumed making my digits chunky).

Sending you support and love @YorkshireFelix ❤

Don't want to say anything inappropriate but I went through this at the start of high school and ended up being home educated from the middle of my second year. I was academic and quiet, the environment was overwhelming to me and all my anxiety turned inwards. I barely left the house for two years, so just want to say that it is vital that you keep her going out to her youth group, seeing people, walking Vinny, having interests outside of the school environment. We got our first puppy about 6 months after I left school and taking her to the nearby park with my Dad was the furthest I could travel. She was my lifeline at that period.

If this is any way inappropriate to say here, please tell me and I'll delete my post. But if there is anything I can do to offer you support I will. My heart aches for you and your lovely girl xxx

Thank you @LandSharksAnonymous, I think that’s the worst thing, that I can’t fix it or really ‘do’ anything to make it better immediately and I find that so difficult. A friend of mine’s daughter is also autistic and has had similar issues at school, and has the same sort of set up to your nephew (although she’s now not doing any lessons in person apart from 1-1 music lesson at school each week), and working with tutors from home, but they had to battle for it since Y8 and she’s now in Y11 so it’s taken years. It’s completely draining me emotionally and we’re only a few weeks in. I’m going to try and speak to school again on Monday and see where we can go from here. Dd has promised me she’s going to go in on Monday but we’ll see. I do worry that school think I’m being soft but It’s not like she’s little and I can just dress her and bring her in, and i would never force her when she’s in such an upset state as I can’t break that trust with her. I’ve read a lot about school refusal, especially with neurodivergent girls, and the worst thing you can do is force it. The frustrating thing is that she wants to learn and really enjoys the work. It’s not like she’s one of those kids who just doesn’t want to do the work and messes about all the time.

@CoubousAndTourmaIet no not inappropriate at all don’t worry!! It’s really good to hear your experience and how it worked out for you. It is funny as me and dd are very similar but I don’t really remember struggling at school the way she does. I am very worried about burnout and I know for her it would be very easy to get stuck in a routine of never leaving the house. I try and encourage her out as much as possible but it can be so difficult sometimes. The group she goes to is for autistic girls and she’s only just started going last month but loves it. I think it’s been so good for her to spend time with other girls who she can relate to. She’s expressed an interest in joining girl guides too so I’ve enquired about that 🤞🏻

Sometimes I'd promise to go but then just couldn't. It's a strange feeling because you want to. Of course back then there was no awareness of girls having autism; although I had two male cousins with Aspergers. I think (hope) that there is more awareness now of kids having anxiety. In the 70's my parents were being threatened that I'd be taken into care for refusing school so my Dad ended up paying for a psychiatrist to come and assess me. After that the Education Authority agreed to provide a home tutor, who turned out to be wonderful and actually became a family friend. I do think there is more acceptance now of different methods of learning and more willingness to adapt to different routines for kids that can't cope with mainstream schooling. Hopefully you'll have an easier ride.
I won't rabbit on about myself too much @YorkshireFelix , but I do feel for you and her because the situation sounds so similar to me in my first year at Grammar School. It will all be okay. Just trust your own judgement about what is best for her and don't be pushed xxx

@YorkshireFelix That's good that other children at other schools have similar set ups - makes me more confident the system is improving.I am sorry though, both for you and your DD as it's incredibly stressful for both of you. But (personally) I think you're doing the right thing in not forcing her because as you say it's about trust.

I do find it interesting how animals (particularly dogs) seem to offer such support to children with autism/neuro-diversity. It just needs to be the right dog for the right family and the right age etc. It does sound like Vinny is quite the superstar, reading back at how Vinny helps your DD.

@CoubousAndTourmaIet I'm also sorry you struggled at school. I know, as you say, it was a while ago but it's still rotten to look back on it.❤

I finally got home at 9:30pm last night after reading the 'very urgent' thing that could not wait. It was not urgent. And it could have waited. A slightly (perhaps very) sassy email was sent pointing out that keeping someone in the office until 19:45 on a Friday night for something that was not urgent is not okay (if only because my poor PA was sat around waiting as well).

Gahh! Fat thumbs pressed send too soon. And of course because I got back so late, all the babies (human and dog) were asleep which tbh is what really annoyed me! I don't know how I managed to have two DDs who go to bed happily by 9pm...but I am not complaining.

Thanks both I really appreciate it @LandSharksAnonymous@CoubousAndTourmaIet ❤️

@LandSharksAnonymous ugh that is so irritating re work. Especially since you’ve not been well too! I’m a graphic designer so definitely not as important as your job sounds, but I get the same quite often where someone makes a big fuss as they need something ASAP. You work your arse off to do it and then either the whole thing is no longer required at the last minute so you’ve done all that work for nothing or you send it over and get radio silence. It’s very frustrating.

@YorkshireFelix I 100% know what you mean! The worst part about last night was I originally set the deadline - so when I said it could wait, it absolutely could have! It was only such a tight deadline as I expected it to be bad (it’s about possible staffing cuts and I knew they’d say ‘we can’t cut anyone’) so I was building in Flex Time for them to rewrite it!

I wish I had the eye to do something like your job! It must be so interesting and satisfying. But my artistic skills are crap and it’s definitely a skill - you either have the gift or don’t. And I do not.

Churning out policy gets a bit boring after a while - at least DH gets the fancy Ambassadorial style dinners and swanky events to go with it! But then I have the dogs…so I guess it’s swings and roundabouts.

Good morning everyone!

@YorkshireFelix Im so sorry to hear your DD is struggling with school. That must be tough. I’ve often wondered if the way school is structured is a little archaic these days. It seems strange to assume a class of 30 kids all learn in the same way and have the same needs. I hope things improve for you both soon ❤️
It’s lovely to hear the effect Vinny has on her, too.
You have a cool job. Do you enjoy it for the most part? Apart from people’s unreasonable demands?

@CoubousAndTourmaIet sorry to hear you struggled at school too. It sometimes feels like society is so rigid, that people are expected to fit in to one mould and follow the exact same path but it doesn’t work for all of us! I’m glad there is more awareness about these things now. I’m 41 and started suffering from anxiety at a pretty young age, it was particularly bad in my 20s and had many waves of debilitating panic attacks. Fortunately, I have managed to kind of fix it for the most part in recent years but even when I was 20, nobody really understood much or talked about it.

@SpanielsGalore I’m glad N seems to be perking up and that you got a good walk in with the other two. How is she this morning?

@LandSharksAnonymous sorry to hear about your work shenanigans! People just don’t think about wasting people’s time at all do they?! Hope you have chance to fully recover from your cold over the weekend!

In other news, Pablo is 7 months old today! Little bugger gets more handsome every day ❤️

Good Morning All,

How is N this morning @SpanielsGalore ?

Hope @LandSharksAnonymous is recovering well from her cold. She may well not be speaking to me since my rebellious post on the Doberman Dilemma (good name for a tv detective series that...) 😬 But you know me, WYSIWYG 😉

I've been awake half the night with a shitty awful migraine, feel really sick and can't even drink tea 😧 We had a little trip outside at 5am for toileting (Brie not me) then she went back to sleep and I read some of my creepy book.

Dogdad is currently pressure washing the paths and driveway to make them less slippery before winter. Brie is phobic about wet paws so is currently snoozing under the dining table.

Hope you all have a good day x

@VanGoSunflowers @CoubousAndTourmaIet thank you both! Cold is mostly gone, so doggies were out bright and early this morning. I didn't have my usual Saturday bacon rolls with DD (possibly a sign I am not yet 100%), but I did have my coffee after two days of hardly any.

Definitely still speaking to you @CoubousAndTourmaIet! 😁I'm sorry you feel rotten though. Although...I do love that you had to clarify it was Brie who went out for an early morning wee and not you 😀Made me chuckle!

Can we have a Pablo photo please, @VanGoSunflowers

And just to add to the above fromC&T, @SpanielsGalore that I hope N (and you) are doing alright this morning.

Afternoon everyone.
Glad you are feeling slightly better @LandSharksAnonymous and I hope your migraine is easing up @CoubousAndTourmaIet .
@YorkshireFelix Sorry to hear your DD is struggling with school. It must be very worrying and stressful for you all. I hope the school will work with you to make some accommodations for her.

It's been a day of highs and lows here.

Highs - we all had a good night's sleep. N is feeling a bit better and managed a small breakfast and all of her meds. She had a little potter in the garden and a wee, but no poos yet.

Middle ground - took P and K out for a quick walk. Came home to drop K off and whilst I was changing shoes and gathering my stuff together, she vomited three times on the carpet. She's been fine since, so hopefully she ate something dubious on the walk.

Lows - took P to physio. She had laser therapy and ultrasound treatment and nearly a whole tube of Primula cheese. But the physio basically said her knee is fucked for life and she's in danger of snapping the cruciate ligament in her left knee. So she's restricted to half hour walks, with only the ten minutes in the middle being off lead. For everrrrrr. 😭 And I know some dogs are only ever walked on lead, but it's not a great life for a working cocker. IMO

Oh what a shit time you're having with your girls lately @SpanielsGalore , you really deserve a change of fortune.

Glad N has responded to the treatment and seeming better at least.
Really hope it is just a case of something disagreeing with K and that she's got rid of it.
But with regard to P, yes, that is really rough. I know cockers have specific exercise needs that allow them to explore off lead. That is a cruel situation for a relatively young dog to be in. It's very sad for her and for you.😞So sorry x

Oh @SpanielsGalore, I’m so sorry. Remind me how old P is? I would feel exactly the same and utterly devastated if pupsy had the same diagnosis. Nothing gives more joy than a spaniel spanielling. Hope K cheers up – hopefully she just scoffed something on the walk. You are really owed some good luck with the dogs. Much love from us.

@SpanielsGalore so glad that N has had a good night ❤

Ohh that's rotten for P, but I guess at least it's ten minutes off lead which is better than nothing. But I know what you mean - a gundog confined to being on lead, and particularly a spaniel, is a really sad thing. Is there nothing at all they can do?

You really are due some good doggy luck soon!

Picture please.

Thanks everyone. 💐

@brushingboots P was 4 at the end of June. Her knee problems came to light around her 2nd birthday, so it's been on going for two years now. We had a period of about 8 months where everything was fine, so I naively thought it was all healed and resolved. And we 'just' had the arthritis to deal with.

@LandSharksAnonymous Yes. 10 minutes is better than nothing. And we can do it two or three times a day. I shall walk her with N, instead of K.

Having wallowed for a few hours, my plan is to get her x-rays re-done and see if the orthopaedic specialist has anything useful to suggest.
Then I shall get a referral to the pain specialist. Arthrocam isn't cutting it - her sensitivity to sound has really ramped up again. If I sneeze or clear my throat, she scarpers.
I've also booked an appointment with a sport's dog nutritionist, who is really knowledgeable about what supplements and things I can give P to help her joints.

Pleased to say I didn't return home to more vomit, so K must have got it all out of her system. Whatever she ate must have been particularly rank to come straight back up. 🤢

How’s everyone with the fireworks. Dog is restless, but is due a walk. Should have done it earlier but forgot about the fireworks.

There's a few going off nearby, but surprisingly, Brie hasn't reacted yet. She was out in the garden a few minutes ago and no reaction then either. It's always a dilemma over whether to risk a walk, I know...

@SpanielsGalore Fingers crossed you can find something to help P manage. How is N going to take having P on walks with her?

@Silverbirchleaf mine are fine. Twatdog likes to sit outside and watch them (simple pleasures for a simple mind and all that) and the puppy was a bit worried by the first but when the older dogs didn't react she settled.

Personally I can't wait for the fireworks season to be over. Love winter. Hate fireworks. (Just call me scrooge)

Oh, @SpanielsGalore , I'm so sorry your pups are still having such a bloody rotten time. I do hope you get some good news about what might be done. I'm very impressed by your practicality, a lot of people would have just given up I expect. Do let us know about the ortho and the nutritionist and what they say.

Nobhead here has been waking up at 5:30am and this morning at 5am - it's killing me (one of several reasons I've not been on here as much), but on the upside, he's tending to sleep through the fireworks so long as I have some brown noise on. He was at his satellite carer's this afternoon as I had to do some online teaching, so has only just crashed - fingers crossed I might get a bit of a lie in tomorrow.

Other bonuses of waking up at ouch o'clock is lovely long walks on an empty common as the sun comes up, and very occasionally getting pictures like this one.

Nobhead is gorgeous. What sort of dog is he?

we braved it and went for a very short walk so Dog could do his business. I think the restlessness was from needing to go, rather than the fireworks as such. Now Dog is fast asleep with fireworks going off outside.

Bill (his real name, which he does still occasionally respond to) is half working Cocker Spaniel and half working Labrador - enormously hard work and the absolute love of my life. He's a complete hooligan but also gorgeous from head to foot. Gets very fed up of me taking pictures though.