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Partner wants me to rehome puppy

147 replies

Partnerorpuppy · 06/07/2025 00:00

I’m so angry right now having had a row with my partner over our puppy.

We have a gorgeous 4 month puppy, had her 2 months now and aside from the usual puppy biting and hyperactivity she’s been amazing.

We planned on getting a puppy and made sure everything was in place first. My partner works from home 4 days a week and goes in the office 1 day a week. I arranged my days off so that I’m off work on that one day a week until she’s old enough to be left for a short time with a dog walker coming in twice a day.

Now my partners job has suddenly changed the office day with no notice at all. That means all the days off I’ve booked don’t line up and puppy is still too young to be left a few hours alone, especially because she’s only been left for 10-20 minutes so far.

I need 3 months notice to change my shifts so I can’t change my hours at all.

I’ve told my partner to challenge this with work. They can’t simply change the office day with no notice at all when people have made commitments but they don’t want to do this. I’ve said you might need to call in sick next week until we find a solution as 3 days isn’t enough time to get a dog sitter as they are all booked up.

Partner wants to ask family and friends to help. Puppy is terrified of other dogs which we are working on but anyone we know that could watch her also has a dog and it wouldn’t be fair to do this and likely make her fear worse. Or leave her alone with someone popping in a few times. This would be 8 hours alone with someone popping in twice in this time which I think is cruel at just 4 months old when she’s barely been left before. Or have our teenager miss school and stay home to look after her which is just ridiculous.

It’s ended in a massive argument where partner claims all the impact of a puppy falls on them which I disagree with as I do all the walks, all the training, all the puppy classes etc. but I do work out of the home so the daytimes when working from home do. Puppy is generally happy to play in play pen during this time so just needs rotating toys, licky mats, chews etc. all of which I prepare the night before and taking out to the toilet. I am being difficult refusing all the (unsuitable) suggestions.

It’s annoyed me how much effort is being made to appease a minimum wage job that have quite literally told all the staff their job isn’t safe and they are making massive cuts to the workforce so have advised everyone to look for jobs elsewhere. Partner hasn’t had a single day off sick in a year, one occasion isn’t the end of the world and better than literally neglecting our puppy. Or being firm with the manager who expects everyone to rearrange their lives at a moments notice.

I’m honestly at the point I’m going to walk away from my relationship at this point, but that will break our child’s heart also. We made a commitment to this puppy however and I’m not willing to rehome her.

OP posts:
HarkerandBarker · 06/07/2025 01:57

Don't rehome the poor thing. That is like abandoning it. Just say fuck it and stay home with the dog or take the dog to work with you if you can.

Failing that yes if your kid is old enough and since it's nearly summer holidays and he/she don't mind and would be responsible enough let them stay home!

I would never abandon an animal just because it interferes with everybody routine.

A dog is for life!

Can't believe some of the peoples lack of understanding here.

They're treating you like you are neurotic just because you're so worried and saying it's just an animal is absolutely abhorrent!

HarkerandBarker · 06/07/2025 02:05

DesperateforSunshine · 06/07/2025 01:52

I wouldn't nornally agree with this but a puppy so young should regime easily, the OP who would consider leaving a relationship because of this seems 'odd', and I'm struggling to see a puppy at that age that would shit itself at the sight of another pup or dog. What happens if/when the dog falls ill and needs more care/attention later in life. It doesn't seem like an ideal home.

What breed is it? Have you spoken to the breeder?

Edited

Maybe if the dog was treated as a member of the family by all in the household it would be more settled. Sounds like the OP does everything for it as it is. She just needs a sitter on this occasion. Why are people so lacking in understanding?

Partnerorpuppy · 06/07/2025 02:05

HeddaGarbled · 06/07/2025 01:26

Jeez, woman, shut up and read your replies, keep your fingers off that keyboard while you have a proper think. You need to find a compromise that isn’t your partner doing exactly what you dictate.

How about you go off sick?

I earn 3 times my partner. If I’m off we can’t pay the bills.

OP posts:
Partnerorpuppy · 06/07/2025 02:07

DesperateforSunshine · 06/07/2025 01:52

I wouldn't nornally agree with this but a puppy so young should regime easily, the OP who would consider leaving a relationship because of this seems 'odd', and I'm struggling to see a puppy at that age that would shit itself at the sight of another pup or dog. What happens if/when the dog falls ill and needs more care/attention later in life. It doesn't seem like an ideal home.

What breed is it? Have you spoken to the breeder?

Edited

Except we had all this in place until my partners job threw a curveball!

And yes I would leave my relationship first. I’m already pissed off at my partner over far more issues and this is feeling like the final straw.

OP posts:
HarkerandBarker · 06/07/2025 02:07

Azandme · 06/07/2025 01:56

Why don't you phone in sick?

Absolutely she should if that's the last resort. I would. I wouldn't give a fuck unless somebody's life depended on me I would not abandon my creature! My baby creature at that!

HarkerandBarker · 06/07/2025 02:08

Partnerorpuppy · 06/07/2025 02:07

Except we had all this in place until my partners job threw a curveball!

And yes I would leave my relationship first. I’m already pissed off at my partner over far more issues and this is feeling like the final straw.

Good for you. I'm on your side!

Partnerorpuppy · 06/07/2025 02:13

HarkerandBarker · 06/07/2025 02:05

Maybe if the dog was treated as a member of the family by all in the household it would be more settled. Sounds like the OP does everything for it as it is. She just needs a sitter on this occasion. Why are people so lacking in understanding?

I literally do everything!

I get up at 6am every day to walk and feed the dog before I leave for work at 7.30. Partner gets up at 8.50 to open laptop at 9am.

I get home at 6pm each day and take dog out for second walk. Partner logged off at 5pm and did nothing.

I do some training after the walk, feed her, daily grooming, poop scoop the garden from
the daytime when partner has been letting dog out. Prep all the things ready for the next day on top of all the usual household chores.

Puppy then comes to bed with me. If she’s up in the night, thankfully not so much now. I’m the one who gets up to take her out.

At the weekends I take her to training class, still do all her walks and other care while partner watches tv. Buy all her food, treats, toys etc.

And the second the joint decision we made inconveniences partner it’s my fault.

I’ve spent all day phoning dog day cares and pet sitters. Partner hasn’t made one call. It’s partners job that has suddenly changed but it’s my job to fix it.

OP posts:
HarkerandBarker · 06/07/2025 02:21

It's making my blood boil. People don't care!!!
Not at home nor here.

Can't believe we're supposed to be a nation of animal lovers.

Second to that this is mumsnet where woman are supposed to be on the same side!

They must be the type of woman who would choose their husband over their kids.

I understand playing devil's advocate because you did ask the question but they are just so unsympathetic and we're talking about another living creature here.

Times like this show you what you already know in your heart what to do.

Liketheclappers · 06/07/2025 02:22

Id rather re-home the man than the puppy!

HarkerandBarker · 06/07/2025 02:22

Liketheclappers · 06/07/2025 02:22

Id rather re-home the man than the puppy!

Exactly 💯 🤣🤣🤣

DesperateforSunshine · 06/07/2025 02:24

Partnerorpuppy · 06/07/2025 02:07

Except we had all this in place until my partners job threw a curveball!

And yes I would leave my relationship first. I’m already pissed off at my partner over far more issues and this is feeling like the final straw.

OK - I've seen you do everything for the pup, but you're pissed with OH over all sorts of other reasons and are ready to leave but you all agreed to a new dog as well. Sorry if this is harsh.

HarkerandBarker · 06/07/2025 02:26

DesperateforSunshine · 06/07/2025 02:24

OK - I've seen you do everything for the pup, but you're pissed with OH over all sorts of other reasons and are ready to leave but you all agreed to a new dog as well. Sorry if this is harsh.

Yes it is harsh and you should not be putting her on the spot like that! If you have nothing constructive to say then don't say it! She does not have to justify herself to you!

crumblingschools · 06/07/2025 02:28

Do you know any teenagers? Neighbours who could help out?

Partnerorpuppy · 06/07/2025 02:35

DesperateforSunshine · 06/07/2025 02:24

OK - I've seen you do everything for the pup, but you're pissed with OH over all sorts of other reasons and are ready to leave but you all agreed to a new dog as well. Sorry if this is harsh.

It’s mostly about the behaviour since the dog.

I’m still annoyed that partner left a job paying double for this job but one of the things partner ‘sold’ me with was how we could not get a puppy that we’d talked about before as now working from home.

Except it’s become clear partner meant I do all the work and they get to sit around watching TV while working. It’s the lack of respect, responsibility, laziness and the making everything my problem to solve that’s got me to the point I’m fed up.

OP posts:
NoelFaraday · 06/07/2025 02:35

Puppy is terrified of other dogs?

That is disgraceful if you have had her for two months and not integrated her with other dogs.

Partnerorpuppy · 06/07/2025 02:37

NoelFaraday · 06/07/2025 02:35

Puppy is terrified of other dogs?

That is disgraceful if you have had her for two months and not integrated her with other dogs.

We have! Did you miss where I said she was really unwell after her 2nd vaccine and it’s left her really nervous. She was confident and fine before that but she was seriously unwell, critical for a period of time and it set her socialisation back massively. We have trainers involved and are working on it but it’s not an overnight fix.

OP posts:
HarkerandBarker · 06/07/2025 02:40

Partnerorpuppy · 06/07/2025 02:37

We have! Did you miss where I said she was really unwell after her 2nd vaccine and it’s left her really nervous. She was confident and fine before that but she was seriously unwell, critical for a period of time and it set her socialisation back massively. We have trainers involved and are working on it but it’s not an overnight fix.

Are you in London?

Partnerorpuppy · 06/07/2025 02:44

HarkerandBarker · 06/07/2025 02:40

Are you in London?

No why?

OP posts:
allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 06/07/2025 02:46

@Partnerorpuppy i agree with your partner actually that the main impact of the puppy falls to him. he is the one at home every day so he is the one having to run into the garden or mop up the puddles! you should have realised that wfh and a new puppy cannot possibly mix. people shouldnt buy a puppy unless they are going to be free at home to do toileting and the lunchtime feeding and breakfast.

HarkerandBarker · 06/07/2025 02:52

Partnerorpuppy · 06/07/2025 02:44

No why?

I would have tried to find a dog sitter for you or even offered to do it myself

HarkerandBarker · 06/07/2025 02:54

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 06/07/2025 02:46

@Partnerorpuppy i agree with your partner actually that the main impact of the puppy falls to him. he is the one at home every day so he is the one having to run into the garden or mop up the puddles! you should have realised that wfh and a new puppy cannot possibly mix. people shouldnt buy a puppy unless they are going to be free at home to do toileting and the lunchtime feeding and breakfast.

What tosh! If you agree with the man that earns 3xless then why don't you take him. She don't want him!

HarkerandBarker · 06/07/2025 02:55

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 06/07/2025 02:46

@Partnerorpuppy i agree with your partner actually that the main impact of the puppy falls to him. he is the one at home every day so he is the one having to run into the garden or mop up the puddles! you should have realised that wfh and a new puppy cannot possibly mix. people shouldnt buy a puppy unless they are going to be free at home to do toileting and the lunchtime feeding and breakfast.

Like the main impact of children falls on the mother kind of thing?

Partnerorpuppy · 06/07/2025 02:57

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 06/07/2025 02:46

@Partnerorpuppy i agree with your partner actually that the main impact of the puppy falls to him. he is the one at home every day so he is the one having to run into the garden or mop up the puddles! you should have realised that wfh and a new puppy cannot possibly mix. people shouldnt buy a puppy unless they are going to be free at home to do toileting and the lunchtime feeding and breakfast.

The back door is left open and puppy takes herself in and out. If it’s cold and door is shut partner takes herself out when able but otherwise the puddles are left for when I get home.

I do breakfast before I leave and I prepare lunch in the fridge ready to just put out. I then do dinner when I get home.

I also took the first month off work so she was pretty much toilet trained when I went back. Partner doesn’t have to do any of the things you’re suggesting but when I’ve had annual leave on days my partner is working from home partner has had a daytime nap and watched TV for several hours. Not everyone who works from home has a job that takes every minute of their time. Partner deliberately chose this job, at a massive pay cut, to have less pressure to be actively working all work hours.

OP posts:
Partnerorpuppy · 06/07/2025 02:59

HarkerandBarker · 06/07/2025 02:52

I would have tried to find a dog sitter for you or even offered to do it myself

That’s really sweet. I’ve found loads of pet sitters. It’s the 3 days notice that the problem. Most of them want to come do a meet and greet first and sign contracts etc. and there just isn’t enough time.

That and me being annoyed that I’ve used up literally all my annual leave booking office days off work for nothing now! Hopefully I can cancel some of it.

OP posts:
HarkerandBarker · 06/07/2025 03:03

Partnerorpuppy · 06/07/2025 02:59

That’s really sweet. I’ve found loads of pet sitters. It’s the 3 days notice that the problem. Most of them want to come do a meet and greet first and sign contracts etc. and there just isn’t enough time.

That and me being annoyed that I’ve used up literally all my annual leave booking office days off work for nothing now! Hopefully I can cancel some of it.

Well I do hope that it works out with your puppy. The hubby....not so sure. 😂😂😂