Breeder turned us down

[Sellingseashells]

Spoken to a breeder last night about pups due later this year. Was recommended by a friend.i though it was going well but breeder said no. Said he don’t sell to people with children. DC are 10 and 4. Dog savvy.

i know the breeder doesn’t have to sell to us, but I’m really upset. Is it worth trying again? What do I do?

This. Careful about the types of home their pups will go to. If they consider its not a breed suitable for children that’s their right to do so. Doesn’t matter if you consider yourself dog savvy or not.

That sounds like a responsible dog breeder to me.

You haven't had a dog with young kids before - it's a completely different ball game. Puppies and young kids together are an utter nightmare.

Either wait until your youngest is 6 or 7, minimum, or get an adult dog. Breeders sometimes rehome adult dogs.

It's not fair to right off all rescues, a lot do a good job at matching with the right families and offering the right support. It's worth exploring.

Exactly. 4 year olds are unpredictable, and he’s right, he knows his dogs.

Are you at home to be company for a dog? Will you always be?

I'm an experienced show type cocker owner, both from pups and re-homed, though I don't have my own anymore.
From the ones I've owned. I don't recognise the mad, biting behaviour. All have been an absolute pleasure and always eager to please.
The rescued one I look after sometimes is a real handful at times, but he has awful history, so doesn't apply in your case.

What area are you OP and how far would you travel for a pup? Bearing in mind it could be several trips.

I refused a male large breed dog to a family with young children, they are big dogs the males can be guard breeds and the parents came over to chat and their children were scared of my other dogs. So it wasn’t a good fit all round, as it happens we kept him and he’s an anxious natured dog, so even more relieved we didn’t sell to the family.

I would say maybe 8+ children I would have considered, but not any age where they stick hands in bowls etc and will get nipped by a puppy.

I disagree with PPs saying not to contact again.

Obviously don't ring to try and change his mind. But, personally, I don't think there is any harm in contacting the breeder - you could even just drop him a text and say 'Hi, thanks for discussing the litter with me last night. I understand your reluctance to sell to someone with a young child, but I was wondering at what age you would want a child to be before you sold a puppy to us'. He may well have a specific age in mind (personally, I don't sell to anyone with children under 10, but I know others who say 8.)

Yes, there likely are other breeders out there - some of which may be excellent - but if this is one you really want to use, then I don't think there's anything to be lost by simply asking what age. Then, if it's only a few years and you're prepared to wait, consider whether you are happy waiting and tell him you're happy to wait.

I've had people wait years to get a puppy from me before - because I said no as I thought their children were too young - and it's not only an incredible compliment when it does happen, it's also reassuring as I know the family have taken my advice and have waited because they want to know their dog comes from the best background possible. That's all good breeders want; to give their dogs the best possible family.

Lots of very lovely rescue dogs that would be more than happy to join your family.
Don't give your money to breeders.

I was going to say this don’t cockers need working? Why not look at calmer entry level breed like a retriever? Still little nippers as pups but lower energy.

Not sure dog breeders ever deserve to be commended..

My cousin had a cocker spaniel from puppy, for some years, until it bit her daughter for no reason at all .

Good breeders aren't the problem. People looking to make a fast buck are. So much damage was done to popular breeds due to lockdown.
I noticed someone in my village who bred cockers has now switched to cockerpoos. That's not a cocker lover but a money breeder.

It's rare to see a show strain Cocker that comes anywhere near breed standards now. If those people didn't care about that, they won't have researched guarding issues in the parents, for instance. A real problem, especially with young children.

look for a decent rescue?

Are you one of those PETA types that want the banning of pets altogether?

You could get a cavalier King Charles? They are known to be excellent with children 😄

I agree it’s a good breeder who is willing to make this decision. Regardless of your dog experience.

for me I would then be a red flag for the breeder, if he suddenly changed his mind just because you called him again.

OP has already stated that she does not want a rescue.

Why a cocker OP? I wouldn’t think that’s a sensible breed for a young family at all. They are notoriously difficult dogs if they are not working, not really suitable for chilled family life. Why don’t you research family friendly breeds?

Please don't breed more. Shelters are full. Many dogs are desperate for a home. It is unethical to encourage more breeding. Please consider giving a shelter dog a loving home

A show type cocker thinks he's working when he emerges from long grass carrying a bit of road kill. Tail wagging, proudly showing it off.

One of mine arrived at the kitchen door with a spent firework rocket. Took him ages to figure turning it sideways to get it in. We didn't help him as we were laughing too much at him stuck in the doorway.

They're always working. A walk is a sniffing exercise. Hiding stuff for them is working. Working is mental stimulus, they don't need to be on a shoot.

I know nothing about working strain cockers, but show types make wonderful pets.
My daughter was 10 when she took one to training, then agility and fly ball. Our Vet said he'd never seen a cocker with so much muscle.

When you grow up with a specific breed, sometimes it becomes "your" breed and is the only dog you ever want. It isn't always about it being "sensible" but is about familiarity, understanding the breed characteristics and knowing you can happily live with that type of dog. Anything else is an unknown. A risk. She grew up with spaniels and her family owns them so it's understandable that she doesn't want any other dog.
(FWIW, I still have the same breed that I grew up with, almost 50 years ago)

Just find another breeder. Seems this one is ultra careful

I'd be a bit dubious because as pups they are quite fragile.

No way is a shelter going to give a family with a 4 year old a dog. And most shelters don't have puppies, never mind the specific breed you want.